Survival school journal: Thursday

Stair Canyon, where we did our solo.

I woke up around 1am due to cold. I re-adjusted my rain poncho into a makeshift tent, by attaching its center and one corner to trees using parachute cord. It is much warmer this way, and structurally sounder than I expected.

It still took 2-3 hours to fall back asleep again. I thought about 3-d graphical systems that would be interesting using photography, and about the importance of a strong support network. [this has been on my mind after a few friends and my brother moved to other cities]. I wondered how various work tasks were progressing at Minted, and thought about how I should tell Mariam more often that I appreciate her.

Eventually I fell asleep again, and woke up around 7:30am. I wanted to sleep in! But cannot.

Facing my fears on this trip has been great. Hiking 10 miles at 8000 feet for 1.5 days without food was perfectly do-able. Being the slowest (which i mostly am) has been fine. I was nervous about solo, and waking up at dawn under this tree in a "tent" of my own making feels natural. There is no sense of elation or relief -- instead it feels very natural.

This feeling of "owning" a small section of land and knowing your five neighbors is amazing.

I am grateful to Nikhil and Jessica for easing my concerns and convincing me to do this. This is awesome!

I am looking forward when I return to Provo to a manicure, and a long hot shower, then lying in clean white sheets and reading kindle on my droid. Not anticipating food at all, contrary to my expectations. I could just eat some GORP [good ol' raisins and peanuts] and I'd be fine.

Making the fire drill set is slow going for me. It took me eons just to carve the spindle. I still need to use the planar technique to carve my fireboard. Then I need to prepare the bow, stone, kindle bundle. Stating a fire with matches is comparatively so easy.

I can identify trees now: juniper (bark is good for fire starting), pine (needles good for sleeping on), oak (branches for burning in fire after it gets going), sage brush.

My mind is so peaceful and content. It was not this way during the first three days, but during solo, it has been. I love everyone. :)

I did my list of errands. Washing clothes was simple, though I had to make a trip to the spring to get enough water. Washing my body is a relief -- it's so nice to be clean! My hair is the only issue. I washed it with soap, but it still feels dirty (though improved).

Steve the chief guide is very interesting. He is so non-reactionary. I feel that I could say anything and he'd reply calmly. Even if I said "Steve, I think you're horrible" or "Steve, there's a bear behind you" or "Steve, I'm the arson who set the big Yellowstone fire." He would digest it and respond rationally.

Survival school journal: Wednesday night

From my journal:

OMG they suddenly sprang solo on us! I am on solo right now. It is past sunset and I can't see what I'm writing.

I scouted and found a place to make my bed. Then I did some "project management" to decide a realistic scope of project. I put my poncho in the lowest tree boughs of a big pine tree to provide wind cover. Then I gathered duff [pine needles] and made a bed. I unpacked, made oats with powdered milk and cane sugar (actually very tasty if you use enough sugar). Just as the sun set, I finished everything, changed into my wool long johns, hung up my food bucket from a tall tree branch, and am now eating oats and writing in the dark.

The canyon is gorgeous. I know my classmates are within shouting distance, which is a great comfort.

I feel very comfortable in "my land" (my solo area as bounded by rock cairns that Steve the chief guide set down). I totally thought of "surveying my land".

Stars are starting to come out.

I don't know why everyone doesn't want to do this course. This is so awesome! I am halfway through and already have gained so much.

When I first started solo, there was a moment when dark fearful thoughts started to encroach. I exerted concentration to keep focused on the task at hand: making the bed, purifying water. Now I am super happy! I need to practice this skill more often.

Time to brush teeth and sleep. Tomorrow I need to wash self and clothes, try to finish my fire drill set and make a fire, and get more water from the spring.

Lillers was so nice to call to wish me a good trip. Lots of people emailed too to say good luck. Love them all!

Survival school journal: Wednesday morning

Hiking into the canyon.

From my journal:

Shana and I did the sweep navigation [navigating from the back of the pack] yesterday afternoon, and it was so much fun. Today we will be the leader navigators.

I couldn't finish all the food at dinner last night! O_o Has my stomach shrunk? Or are lentils super filling? We ate a stew where we each got 1/2 cup lentils, 1/2 cup rice, 1/3 onion, 1/3 potato, 1/3 carrot. Also ash cakes. I was full after eating a third of my stew. I ate a bunch more, but still couldn't finish. This morning I ate the leftovers (they were still good).

I also enjoyed making ash cakes on the fire coals. We had more than enough, at 1/2 cup flour per person, plus water to make it into dough.

I noticed my voice has been higher-pitched this whole trip, presumably because I am in unfamiliar situations.

The daily morning ritual is very enjoyable. I like brushing teeth with baking soda. I like purifying water from the stream. I don't particularly like making the blanket pack, but it turns out I have a good memory for knots. This is surprising, because I didn't think spatial perception was my strong suit.

Steve the chief guide is very unobjectionable. Because he is super non-reactive. He is like Jill [the Minted executive coach] in this regard. Anyone could be emotional toward him, and he would stay calm. I really respect this quality.

I feel more resourceful with a knife in my belt. At any time, I could carve a spoon. :)

As soon as I get home, I'm going to order a periodic delivery of organic produce.

I was taught not to waste food and it's difficult to reconcile with my real-world environment of excessive food. I much prefer this way of eating. I am thinking about how to maintain this when I go back.

Tonight we'll learn to make a fire.

Studying a map. I'm sitting on the rock, and Shana is standing (far left).

Survival school journal: Tuesday

The six people in my class.

From my journal in a meadow:

I had stomach pains last night for a couple hours. Lori the guide said it's due to dehydration -- the body shunts blood away from non-vital functions, including the stomach. Then stomach acid builds up.

We hiked for many hours by moonlight. It was exhausting. Then the guides gave us some surprises. [details omitted for future attendees of the course]

We've broken the fast. I thought the food woud taste divine, and that once my body became exposed to food, I woud become ravenous. Neither happened. I ate a banana which tasted the same as usual. They gave us cold mint tea, and I couldn't drink much of it due to taste. I also felt satiated.

We were taught how to navigate using compass and topological map. Now we will navigate ourselves eight miles to a lake.

The guides handed out food for the next four days. It looks in volume the same as what I've eaten in a single meal. It is 1463 calories per day. They picked dense food such as peanuts.

I'm comfortable with the knife now, and have carved a spoon and a bow drill stick.

Learning how to fold our blanket into a pack. I am leaning against a tree in the background.

Survival school journal: Tuesday afternoon

We walked for most of the day, in canyons of red rock.


From my journal in the late afternoon:

I've been designing product features in my head, and it is motivational even if I can't get to it for a while.

We are about to purify water from still pools. It looks as though there are many flies and much sediment. Let's see how well the water purification works.

We walked through pretty red canyons. It feels like if we round the corner, we can free James Franco's arm.

Wow, turns out one of the still pools has very clear water, even clearer than the running stream.

Walking uphill on an empty stomach requires taking breaks, but walking on flat terrain is easy, even though we haven't eaten for over 24 hours. My headache was gone when I woke up this morning. My body feels light and full of energy. I feel as though I'm gliding through the canyon.

Nina (woman from Chicago) is beaming the whole day.


Nina

Steve the head guide told me they have a hunter-gatherer course. It sounds awesome! You bring no outside food, and only eat rodents, small game, and fish that you catch.

I slightly miss being clean, and sleeping on clean sheets.

It really seems unfathomable that I eat such junk, like mac 'n' cheese, and everything at Beretta. Even their brussel sprouts are fried!

One student is talking a lot about food, and another is being snappy (including at me). I am bothered by the unwelcoming vibe, but am still feeling energetic and happy.

My stomach hurts. Is this "hunger pains"?

Survival school journal: Monday morning

We hiked for a couple hours on Sunday and then slept on the ground in a meadow, surrounded by sage brush. This was the "Impact" portion of the course, which involves fasting and traveling lightly with minimal gear.

From my journal:

We learned how to navigate by the stars, purify water, and sleep without tent or sleeping bag. It was cold last night. Huddling for warmth was actually very satisfying.

I figured out that in my regular life, I am very dehydrated continually.

Not eating saves a lot of time. We didn't have to build a fire, cook, eat, wash dishes. We just stopped hiking and promptly slept, and this morning we woke up and can promptly set off again.

Having the right gear is great. I used to just "make do" with substitutions, but using proper gear is so much better.

If I could eat anything, I would pick the meal we had yesterday at lunch: sandwiches with hummus, turkey, cheese, mayo, and greens. My body revolts at the thought of these buttery dishes I eat at restaurants. I keep thinking of that scene from "Lost in Translation" when Bill Murray phones home to his wife and says he wants to eat more fish & veggies, and less steak.


Lunch on the prior day, before setting off

Our chief guide Steve is very still when he is not speaking. When introduced by the Field Director, he didn't make eye contact with us. But it turns out he's really good at teaching.


Steve in the survival-school store, before the course started

Day 0 was easier than I anticipated. I thought I'd be slogging, struggling against fatigue & grumpiness. I feared lagging far behind the others. Instead I could've kept hiking last night when we stopped. And I slept straight through from around midnight to dawn. Most others got only a couple hours of sleep, so I'm keeping my sleep good-fortune to myself. :)

Simple cleaning rituals are very enjoyable. Brushing my teeth with baking soda was a real joy. So is peeing.

It is a couple hours after sunrise and already hot.

We learned knife skills. I am thinking sometimes about work, when we are walking on the trail. Having a different physical environment is good for seeing different solutions to the same challenges.

Survival school journal: Sunday (day 0)

My survival school course started on Sunday after a 4-hour van ride from Provo, Utah to the desert outside the small town of Boulder, Utah. The school is Boulder Outdoor Survival School, or BOSS for short.



From my journal that afternoon:

We just finished gear check and got a photo taken in our hiking clothes, in case anything happens to us. I made a pack from my wool blanket and rain poncho, wrapping the pack using parachute cord and seatbelt webbing. It feels great on my back! Just as sturdy as a REI pack :)




I am already accustomed to ants crawling on me. I've been bitten by ants a dozen times by now.

We are requested not to ask questions about our itinerary. These are called "inappropriate questions".

I am experiencing effects of altitude or heat or both. Headache, low energy. Occasional slight chest pains near my heart. My resting heartrate is up to 86 (in SF, it's in the low 60s).

Michael (student who is ex-pat in Jakarta) told me about going on a Habitat for Humanity trip, where he built a brick wall for a family in povery. So cool!! I will research it when I get home. I've wanted to combine travel, learning a skill, helping a family in need, and being in a community. Michael said some people who go on Habitat on Humanity come back and give away all their possessions. The high lasts for three months, and then they freak out. I'm shocked that it lasts for three months. I thought it'd be over in a few days.


Michael

Earlier we sat under a tree and shared our expectations. Much to my shock, four of the five others are doing this to learn skills in case of apocalypse and we experience a breakdown in plumbing and electricity. That did not even occur to me. I shared that my reason is to develop trust that my body is strong and will do what I ask of it, and isn't just a burden that I drag around in order to house my brain. Also, I live in a bubble, and need to immerse myself in other worldviews to wash out biases that have seeped into my thinking despite my preventive efforts.

I am thrilled that I ran the entire 1.5 mile test. Altitude is very powerful! My breathing became ragged almost immediately -- at nearly a 12-minute pace. In SF, I could do that pace for a long time without feeling much effect.

I just got up from the log I was sitting on, and discovered I had squashed several ants.

Shana is assigned as my buddy. We paired by birthday month/day and magically ended in the same configurations as the rows we formed in the van. That's a 1 in 15 chance! Shana is a redhead with green eyes from NYC. she is a regular Burning Man attendee. She is very warm and easygoing. I am happy she is my assigned buddy.


Shana and Michael standing near our luggage

We are setting off imminently. I'm carrying a cloth pack over my shoulder, like how women in rice paddies carried their babies.

The toughest part is done, right?

Altitude is tough, but I am really happy with how I did in my 1.5 mile run!  I did 17:45.  Really delighted to be middle of the pack (the two triathletes led the group, and then I was 4th out of the six people).

Other people casually decided to do this course, and did no extra exercise.  I am the only obsessive one who has been especially training for months for this day.

Then they fed us sandwiches.  I went into super hoarding mode and ate more than anyone else.

Now we are doing gear check and will embark soon.

En route

I met my survival school classmates!  There are six people in my class: four women and two men.  One is an ex-pat living in Jacarta.  Another is studying to be a life coach.

I am relieved that they are my age, not 18 year olds like an internet review said.  Two of them are super-triathletes.

Now we are driving to the desert.

Me as a 3-d mesh

One of the Sunfire startups scanned me and constructed a 3-d model in just a few minutes, using their awesome product.



You can see the triangular mesh that comprises me. This technology is so cool!



As a "graphics person", I was totally in love with this.

T minus 4!

Survival school in 4 days. I started drinking more water, and cutting out sugar & alcohol. I have my gear except a wool sweater.

I am most excited about:
1. learning to start a fire
2. new perspectives and epiphanies
3. surviving solo
4. the ceremony at the end
5. my first meal afterwards
6. calling Nikhil afterwards, and talking to him about his experience vs my experience on the course

I am most nervous about:
1. the impact phase: hiking on the first day with no food, while adjusting to altitude and heat
2. solo
3. contracting a stomach virus or ticks or other disease
4. being the slowest one in the group

the original was much more interesting

芙蓉 is an internet celebrity in China who is famous for writing posts about her "S-shaped body" and how she has "the face of an angel and the body of a devil". After each of her posts, thousands of people would leave comments about how deluded she is. Then a smaller number of people would write comments about how beautiful she is.


I just saw a new photo and now she looks like this!



I am shocked. But it's also a little sad -- now she's just a boring beautiful-person instead of a quirky oddball.

appreciating the view

I tend to take things for granted over time, like all humans. As a trivial example: my view. I still logically recognize that it's awesome, but I no longer have the same visceral awe. Recently I've been inviting over guests to live vicariously through their reaction.


Today I was talking to Jill about how I respect serial entrepreneurs with a track record of repeated successes. She said, "Such as whom?" I said, "Well, Mariam [Minted's founder/CEO], for starters." Then we were talking about other aspects of Minted and I digressed into how it's nice to work in a company with a balanced gender ratio (after a decade of Microsoft and Google), especially gender diversity in the leadership. There are women in the industry, but the number of women who are powerful leaders that can build a succcessful company and who I deeply respect as peers/role models is still small, and now I get to work with several on a daily basis!

I paused to think about it, and it struck me how awesome it is. I had a strong sense of feeling fortunate, like I used to feel in 2003 around Googlers who were amazing and fun, like Mike Burrows, Rob Pike, Jeff Dean, Steve Lawrence. Now I've lucked out again with Minted.

How do you make sure that you still maintain appreciation for the awesome things in your life? Maybe the important key was that today Jill asked me questions and I paused to really think about it.

five 9's

Having dinner with a female friend at Caffe BaoNecci.

Her: Because we work in this industry, I have a lot of guy friends. 99.999% of my friends are guys.

Me: But I'm your friend. So that means you have at least 100,000 friends. Wow.

Her: Whatever.

progress

June 9:

First jog for Utah survival school. Goal: 9.5min pace 1.5miles. Actual:10.9min pace for .65miles.

A lot of people laughed at me for not running an entire mile. They greeted me with "Hey, how's the training going? Did you run 0.6 miles this morning?"

July 10:

10.04-min mile pace for 2.18 miles

Survival school starts in exactly 4 more weeks!

new bucket list

I've checked off two items (eat at Gary Danko, read a bunch of books). Revised bucket list:

1. Take my dad on a trip to Russia.
2. Have a family.
3. Have a live Christmas tree, with ornaments.
4. Go on a trek to Everest Base Camp.

"whatever you're good at, there's an asian kid who can do it better"

J: he's not just playing guitar
J: he's playing the guitar parts and the vocal parts
me: oh!
J: i can't even do that
me: how does he do that?
J: he has parallel brain tracks
J: that let him think about the melody and the rhythm at the same time
J: it's like singing and playing guitar at the same time -- some people can't do that, but lots (like me) can.
J: that's probably because i have a cpu and a gpu
J: g=guitar
me: lol lol!!
J: he has 2 gpus!


me: he's so cute!
me: i want to pat his head
J: yeah he's cute but not kid cute anymore
J: those videos are 2008 -- in 3 years he's become a teenager
J: still cute but not teddy bear cute
me: yeah too bad
me: i liked the teddy bear cute
J: your loss is south korean teenage girls' gain
me: ha!!!


Later, with my brother Tom:

me: he is sooo cute
me: he looks a little like you as a kid!
Tom: makes you want to trade your little brother in, eh? =P
Tom: its ok i wouldn't blame you
me: no, my brother was that good, but at playing video games
Tom: hahaha
me: and at being a brother!!
Tom: =D

Checking one item off the bucket list

Yesterday I turned 32!   I had dinner with a few of my nearest and dearest at Gary Danko, one of the to-do items on my bucket list.

The restaurant brought out a little lemon mousse cake at the end, with a candle.  My birthday wish is that the next year can be as happy as the past couple of weeks.  (I know you're not supposed to share wishes, but this year I am disregarding that custom.)

The past couple of weeks have been happy because I am continually flooded with endorphins from exercising in preparation for survival school.

People have had mixed reactions to survival school.  One-third of people think it is amazing and want to sign up.  The others think it sounds crazy.  But nothing has ever motivated me to exercise so effectively. 

I am looking forward to being taught how to stay upbeat when exhausted, how to be in tune with nature, and how to trust that my body is strong and can prevail over intimidating conditions.

decisions that turn out 20/20

I was talking to a fellow Caltech grad recently about getting picked into Dabney House during college.

Every Caltech freshman gets picked into one of the seven Houses (dorms), during the first week of college.  It's like the Sorting Hat at Hogwarts.  At the time, I was more of a traditional Chinese person, so I thought I would be picked into one of the mainstream North Houses. 

Instead, because my photo ID had a picture of me sticking out my tongue, I got picked into the hippie House.  I was initially in shell shock.  My fellow denizens walked around barefoot, went hot tubbing nude, dropped acid, and did all manner of other things that shocked me to my core.  I could not understand how I, a traditional chinese girl, got picked into this House. 

But now in hindsight, I feel like there was no other choice.  Of course I belonged in the House where anything goes.  I am such a Darb.  It was also nice that we happened to have a heavy concentration of top computer science majors.

Sometimes decisions seem so arbitrary and inexplicable at first, and then in time they become clear.  Dabney House was prescient to pick me based on the goofy photo ID.  Now there are many times when I make a decision based on gut instinct and a small trigger, and it seems inexplicable at the time.  I start to wonder if I behaved foolishly to make a decision that I can't fully rationalize.  But usually it ends up making sense.  Sometimes it takes years to fully play out, but usually your subconscious makes good decisions.  Go with it.

Cooking class

I went to a cooking class today.

Cooking class is in the category of activities that become 10 times better if you do it with friends.

The cool thing about this class is that the ingredients are so fresh.  We used salmon that our instructor bought from Half Moon Bay, caught yesterday.

He is going to move kitchens because the current one won't allow him to bring in wine.  He may build a commercial kitchen.  It is amazing that he cares so strongly about wine.

Survival school

I signed up for survival school.  Since then, I have been running daily for pathetically short durations.  But even these uber short jogs are increasing my endurance.  I can feel it. 

I wouldn't have had the courage to sign up, except Jessica (googler friend who quit Google to teach at this survival school) said I'll do fine. 

I am becoming slightly obsessed about survival school, but am happy about this because it is making me live healthier.  I eat less sugar and exercise more.  How do people live healthily without a goal like survival school?  That is impressive.

steeling your mind: how?

How do you prevent yourself from getting swayed by the values of your environment?

I can catch myself starting to think things that I don't actually believe, just because I'm inundated with messages.

This happened to me before, in Seattle. Microsoft people really cared about review ratings. Sure, it's important, but people would really take it to an unnatural degree and obsess over them. For years, I thought this was silly. Then, from years 3 to 5 of being there, I gradually became more obsessed than anyone. Now I look back and find it ridiculous.

Now I can feel Silicon Valley pressures seeping into my value system. I know that it's not my actual priorities!

I'm sure that if I lived amongst a group of stamp collectors, within 4 years I'd become a stamp collector. If I lived in LA, within 4 years, I'd probably start caring about tanning or getting invited to celebrity parties or whatever LA cares about.

I can already catch myself having moments of wanting things that I know I only want because I keep hearing how other people want them. I'm afraid that in another few years, I'm going to start caring about buying a fancy car, or renting time on a jet, or ridiculous things like that. I'll look back on this blog post and think "Ah the naive me who did not realize that owning a fancy car is important!" But I look at this future me and am appalled at the possibility of turning into that!

Love

Tonight my friend told me about a Microsoft manager Michael, who transitioned to a woman.  He was married with a child, and his wife supported him through the transition.  They are still married.

I said that I would not be able to support my husband becoming a woman.

My friend asked, why not?

So then I thought "True, why not??" and couldn't come up with a good reason. 

Still seems tough.

Ephemerisle

I am at Ephemerisle, a floating festival of 100+ people.  There are a dozen houseboats docked in a circle, with a floating platform in the middle.

In the afternoon, there were mini-talks.  One was given by a former heroin addict, who has been 10 years clean.  He said he didn't get clean due to prohibition or police.  He got clean due to a program whose workers brought him clean needles and talked to him and loved him.  Another talk was about attaching hashtags to people to indicate how trustworthy/untrustworthy they are.

It reminds me of Caltech Pre-frosh Weekend.  It is such a lovely feeling of community.  I am usually sitting to the side, reading my kindle or phone, really enjoying the hubbub around me.

I ran into Pablo, a Google friend, who told me how he just spent 4 months working at the South Pole Station in Antarctica.  His wife and two kids supported him doing this.  I found it very impressive, because most people stop doing those types of things after they have children.

Later there will be parties and dancing on the floating platform and probably some fire dancing.

I would like a stronger feeling of community in my regular life.  It takes work to achieve.

A quote I like

From Penelope Trunk's blog:

you can tell if it's your own plan by how lost you feel. People who do their own plans feel lost most of the time. People who do other peoples' plans feel on track most of the time.

survival school

My friends Nikhil and Jessica went to survival school in Utah four years ago. In this class, students are taken out to the desert. There's a period of fasting and hiking, then a lot of hiking and learning outdoor skills, and then a solo period. It was a life-changing experience for both of them. In fact, Jessica quit Google and is now an instructor for the survival school.



I visited Nikhil in Boston last weekend. I asked, "Are you going to do BOSS again?"

He said no one else asks about survival school the way I do. No one remembers that it's called BOSS. I ask about it every time I see him (approximately once per year). He said I obviously have an unusual fascination with it.

He said I should go do it. He lent me a poncho and a cup. He reminded me how he felt an unbelievable sense of inner-peace for a few months after returning from the experience.

I am really incompetent in the wilderness, but I would love to be competent. I want to know how to start a fire, and have the confidence that I can hike for a day without food, and know how to make a shelter from the wind. Also the possibility of having a life-changing experience is pretty appealing. The course I'm looking at is a 7-day course (whereas Nikhil and Jessica both did the 28-day course).

I told some of my friends, and they were surprised. One of them, who I've known for 15 years, said, "Niniane, you cannot survive in the wilderness. You won't make it for a single day. You'll last for one hour. At one hour and five minutes, you'll be asking the instructors to get you out of there."

I've been obsessed about this class for the past week, since talking to Nikhil. My other Boston friend Nehsters got so tired of hearing about it that she used a bet (which I lost) to extract an agreement that I could no longer talk to her about it for the rest of the trip.

I asked my personal trainer Megan. I thought she might say it's ridiculous to drink lake water and fast for multiple days. She said our bodies were evolved to survive in the desert. She also likes it because on the first day, there's a Cooper 1.5-mile running test. I'm supposed to run it in 16:30 at altitude, which translates to 14:30 in San Francisco. Right now it would probably take me 18:00 in San Francisco. That is a lot of improvement necessary. I know I can do it because I was able to run at that speed in 2003.

I think I will do it, because I don't want to go through life knowing that this was an imagination-capturing experience that could expand my perspective, and I chickened out.

From an online forum:

One reporter who did the course wrote that he wouldn't do it again for a million dollars, but he wouldn't trade the experience for 1 million dollars either.

If I sign up, I need to figure out how to join some running groups in San Francisco. I guess I will look on meetup.com. Does anyone want to run with me?

company culture fit as a job decision factor

I've noticed that when I decide whether to join a company, culture fit has usually been pretty far down the list of priorities. Many of my friends are this way too. Usually we think about:

- the company's vision
- the type of work we'd be doing day-to-day
- whether we respect / like the coworkers
- compensation

Company culture fit does play a subconscious role, but I didn't explicitly count it as a decision-making factor. I rarely talked about it when going over my decision with others. But it is actually so important!

When you fit well with the company culture, you can just be yourself and success will come naturally. If you don't fit well, people will keep suggesting that you mold yourself, but it'll always be slightly off.

Luckily it is easy to tell whether you fit well or not. I use the litmus test of, "Let's say I were to start working here tomorrow at 9am. How do I feel about this?" Usually I have either a feeling of elated excitement, or a sense of dread.

Recently one of my graphic design colleagues at Minted told me a story of how he started working at Minted. He applied during the height of the holiday season, when traffic was at a peak. Halfway through the interview, as he was showing his portfolio, his interviewer said, "Ok, that's good." and asked him to immediately go into the next room, sit down at a computer, and start working. He has been with the company ever since, and is really happy with it. But he said that he had arranged his portfolio so that the best piece was last, and was disappointed that the interview was cut short and he never got to show the best piece.

That is an even stronger emotional test than my test of "working here tomorrow at 9am".

canvas

Which of these two photos would be better as a 16x20 canvas hanging on my wall?

A.


B.

This is someone's actual home!



It has inspired me to decorate my SF apartment.

hats!

Omst is visiting from Canada. We're going to our friend PZ's Kentucky Derby brunch today. This morning, in my San Francisco apartment:

Omst: "Oh, do you have any hats for this brunch?"

Me: [excitedly running into the closet] "Yes! Hats! [examining my collection] I only have two hats here! The rest are in Mountain View."

Omst: "But is one of them appropriate for a derby?"

Me: [walking out holding two fancy hats] "Oh, I mean I only have two appropriate hats. The rest are costumed hats."

Omar: O_o

---

Update: Later, at the Kentucky Derby brunch:

lg goofiness

My former intern LG is so funny.

LG: "I have a great startup idea. I can explain it in 10 seconds."

Me: "Okay, what is it?"

LG: "Bet on weather."

Me: "Isn't that WeatherBill?"

LG: "It already exists?"

Me: "Yes, it's an ex-Googler startup. Some say it's one of the best ones."

LG: [navigating to it] "Aw, this isn't betting on weather! Protect your profits from bad weather. That's not what I meant! I want to literally bet on the weather."

Yishan: "You're doing futures investing based on the weather. You're betting - on the weather."

LG: "Damn it! I really wanted to build this. This one's not called BetOnWeather.com."

conclusion of the brother gift survey

Thanks to all the suggestions about a gift to give my brother for his birthday. I ended up getting him...

A kindle 3!

And a gift card for kindle books!



Tom called me on the phone, and we were talking as he opened the Amazon box. When he saw the big envelope (containing the gift card), he asked, "Oooh, is this a Minted birthday card? Did you send me a personalized card?"

I said, "The box shipped directly from Amazon! How would I have gotten the card into the Amazon box?"

Though, at Minted we just hired the Amazon engineer who coded their packing slips and shipping box sizing algorithms, so maybe I could've somehow gotten her to do it before leaving!

Another gift that Tom got was a trip to San Francisco, from his buddy in LA. So he is going to come visit next weekend. I wonder if I can convince him to go to a drag brunch show with me. A friend gave me his groupon for it, and it's expiring.

updated bucket list

I've now done one of the items on my bucket list. This is the updated list:

1. Take my dad to Russia on a trip.
2. Have a family.
3. Eat at Gary Danko.
4. Have a small, live Christmas tree in my home. Decorate the tree. Here is an example of what the tree could look like:

breeze

This photo reminds me of Burning Man, even though it's 1). clean, and 2). next to a beautiful river, as opposed to miles away from any water. It's making me want to go for a weekend to Burning Man!

The best moment from Burning Man 2009 was sitting on top of a precarious four-story metallic structure, with Misha and Omst.

Elizabeth said, "At Burning Man, you see these couches that hundreds of people have sweated on. If you saw that in the Mission, you wouldn't want to go near it. But here you just sit right down on it, wearing very little clothing."

birthday gift for my brother

I need to buy a gift for my brother's 24th birthday in 10 days. What to get him?

He likes indoor rock climbing, video games, and Japanese films.

source code

Darn it!

I just saw that there is an upcoming movie called "Source Code".



I got all excited because I thought it's a movie about coding. A real coding movie, not one where two teenagers type for 15 seconds and hack into the Pentagon. Or where the protagonist lands on a borg-looking alien mothership from light-years away and finds a convenient USB port.

I thought that maybe in the movie "Source Code", the characters would be solving some challenging problem. Maybe first they are stuck, then they come up with a solution. They start to celebrate, but it turns out be O(N^3)! They get discouraged, and shout at each other. One of them leaves in anger to take a walk by the river, where he sees a leaf fall onto the ground. The leaf inspires him to come up with a O(log N) solution! Then he races back just in the nick of time and presses "i" in his vim editor in order to start typing the code. I want a big close-up of his fingers as he types that initial "i".

Anyway, this is the description of the movie "Source Code":

When decorated soldier Captain Colter Stevens (Jake Gyllenhaal) wakes up in the body of an unknown man, he discovers he's part of a mission to find the bomber of a Chicago commuter train. In an assignment unlike any he's ever known, he learns he's part of a government experiment called the "Source Code," a program that enables him to cross over into another man's identity in the last 8 minutes of his life. With a second, much larger target threatening to kill millions in downtown Chicago, Colter re-lives the incident over and over again, gathering clues each time, until he can solve the mystery of who is behind the bombs and prevent the next attack. Filled with mind-boggling twists and heart-pounding suspense, Source Code is a smart action-thriller directed by Duncan Jones

WTF! What a huge letdown! This has nothing to do with source code!!!

but those koreans are even closer to japan

Talking to my brother about reports of radiation reaching Southern California due to the Japan nuclear reactor meltdown.

niniane: are you scared about the radioactive plume?
Tom: not much i can do about the radioactive plume
Tom: i can do with a few extra appendages
niniane: what will you do with them?
Tom: play starcraft 50% better

chinese currency rap battle!

an entertaining video

My college friend Victor: "haha my whole life's effort learning cantonese is now worthwhile thanks to this video"

poem

I like this poem.

AUTOBIOGRAPHY IN FIVE CHAPTERS
Portia Nelson


1) I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in.
I am lost...
I am hopeless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

2) I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I'm in the same place.
But it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

3) I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in...it's a habit
My eyes are open; I know where I am;
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

4) I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

5) I walk down another street.

oinksy!

I want this:



Is the fur (hair?) soft, or is it bristly? I want to hold this little pig as I fall asleep.

fire extinguisher!

Sitting in my Mountain View townhouse with Azer.

Me: "The townhouse complex just sent an email. You need to put the fire extinguisher out onto the front steps on Saturday morning. They're going to inspect it."

Azer: "I'll do it right now. Where is it?"

Me: "On the balcony." [walking over to balcony, looking all over it without finding the fire extinguisher]

Azer: "Is it in a closet?"

Me: "Yeah, we should probably know where the fire extinguisher is, in case of a real fire."

Azer: "I bet the townhouse complex isn't actually doing anything to the fire extinguisher. This whole thing is just so that everyone will find their fire extinguisher."

Me: [lol]

interesting Soviet Union house

The architecture of this house is really interesting:



It's from this Guardian article about architecture in the Soviet Union.

what makes people into fascinating characters?

There are some people who fascinate me. They could be a movie character. One is my personal trainer Megan, who always has an interesting dating story or work dilemma. Another is my Seattle friend Wenarto, who throws elaborate dinner parties where he conscripts the guests to act in his youtube videos.

I was mulling over what makes these people so fascinating.

There's a guideline to writing fiction, wherein you ought to devise characters with strong motives. One book said, "If your character's only desire is to drink some water, make that desire very strong. Make him parched, and craving water as though his life depends on it."

The examples I gave both have strong passions. Megan is humorously opinionated about every area of her life. Wenarto lives to sing opera in youtube videos, and cook feasts of capon.

Is that the primary factor? Perhaps it is also because these individuals are not self-conscious. They rarely get embarrassed, and proudly own up to all their foibles.

chinese commercial about IM

I like the scene where you see the mom's QQ instant messager friend list, and it only has 1 contact (her son).

pot of meat as art!

J Michael designed how the "pot of meat" photo could be artistically made into a series of panels!

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Also, my colleague suggested that I color-correct and crop the photo:

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Here's another suggestion from the comments, courtesy of Jordan Brock:

photos of where I live and work

My former colleague from Microsoft came to visit this weekend. He took some photos that I quite like.


View from my window.


Candid shot at Minted.

pot of meat as a canvas print

I'm planning to make a canvas print to hang in my living room or kitchen. I'm thinking about this photo that my brother took of my mom's cooking:


Would that look good as a 16" x 20" canvas on the wall of my kitchen? So far, two people I polled said that it's unappealing to have a large photo of food up-close.

Luxembourg

We only stayed in Luxembourg for one day. I really liked our hotel. It had nice lighting, and a free mini-bar of sparkling water and juices. I tried to drink everything in the mini-bar.


Fruit at the breakfast buffet.


Waffles and jams at our breakfast table. We sat and ate for over an hour.


A pretty church we went to. It was snowing outside.


In the afternoon, Tom decided that he wanted to see a museum with great architecture. We could spot it in the distance but couldn't see a straightforward path there. We started to walk in that direction.

We walked for 45 minutes. One cab passed us during that time but wouldn't stop. Finally we came to a set of ice-covered steps. A sign indicated these were the right steps to the museum. But when my brother tried climbing the steps, they were too slippery from ice.


We kept walking, up a snowy incline, which eventually led to these train tracks. We could see footsteps leading to the tracks, and the other side of the tracks seemed to be a path to the museum. We then had a debate about whether to cross the tracks.

My mother thought it would be fine. My dad loudly proclaimed that it was an absurd idea. He said, "Tomorrow the newspapers are going to carry the headline 'Chinese Tourists Found Dead on Train Tracks; Motives Unclear'. They'll speculate on why this Chinese family was crossing the tracks. To steal a national treasure? Suicide? No one is going to guess that it's to see this museum."


Finally we gave up, and walked 45 minutes back to the hotel.


My brother and dad sitting in the lobby of the hotel.

My bucket list

Last night I had dinner with Elizabeth.  We went to Press Room and had flights of wine and carpaccio.  She pushed me to make a bucket list.  Here it is:

1. Take my dad to Russia on a trip.
2. Read a bunch of books.
3. Have a family.
4. Eat at Gary Danko.

I hope I can do these!