Monday, July 12, 2004

Dinnertime conversation with coworkers

Sitting in the cafeteria with coworkers, I ate chicken with a Thai sauce and said, "I was originally going to take this food home and eat it in the bathtub."

"What?" they said. Apparently others do not eat and bathe simultaneously.

"You know, eat while you're taking a bath."

"We don't do that."

"Don't you like relaxing on the outside, while eating? Simultaneous external and internal stimulus. Wouldn't you like eating while you're getting a massage? That's what the hole in the face support is for."

They look dubious.

"I'm going to open a company that does massages while you eat. I'll call it Rub 'n' Grub."

Chortling ensues.

"Which way is better, Rub 'n' Grub, or Grub 'n' Rub?" I ask.

"Rub 'n' Grub. Grub 'n' Rub is too much like Grub 'n' Grope."

"Is that like your dates?"

"No, my dates are Grub 'n' Grog, groove, then grope."

"Grog? Shouldn't it be Grub 'n' Grok? What about the grok?"

"He wants grog, she wants grok," says a third coworker. "Never have I seen such a blatant illustration of gender differences."