Walking down the street with my brother Tom and my uncle. My uncle is a retired physics professor who now lives in Shanghai.
Uncle: I told my son that in an ideal marriage, the man should be five to ten years older than the woman.
Tom: Ten years... So I should date someone who is nine years old.
Me: Hee hee!
Uncle: [seriously] That's right. You are too young now, of course. But when you are 29, she will be 19.
A few minutes later, a little girl crossed the street in front of us, hand-in-hand with her mommy. She wore a red coat, her hair pulled into two pigtails with pink ribbons.
I patted Tom on the arm. "How about that girl as your girlfriend?" I said.
He leaned over to get a look at her face. "In ten years, she'll still be too ugly."
Later that afternoon, in a shopping mall with my family.
Me: Christina's friend from New York saw pictures of you from the Google Holiday Party and said you're cute.
Tom: Oooh! Can I get a picture of Christina's friend?
Me: Tom, she's in her early 30s.
Tom: That's okay.
My mom: [overhearing] What? Early 30s? That's not okay!
Tom: [pulling me a couple paces away from our mother] I'm just curious.
Me: Fine. I think she's a stockbroker, so she can be your sugar mommy.
Tom: Seems like my range is really varied. Nine to thirty years old.
Tom: Can you imagine if I broke up with Christina's friend? I'd say, 'I'm sorry, I can't talk to you any more. I need to go pick up my new girlfriend from elementary school.'"