Monday, August 21, 2006

perhaps * sweet

A news article this morning on Tiger Woods mentioned Joe DiMaggio, so I read his wikipedia entry:

According to biographer Maury Allen, Joe was so alarmed at how Marilyn had returned to her self-destructive ways, falling in with people he felt detrimental to her (including Frank Sinatra and his "Rat Pack"), he quit his job with a military post-exchange supplier on August 1, 1962 to ask her to remarry him. But before he could, she was found dead on August 5, a probable suicide. Devastated, he claimed her body, and arranged her funeral, barring Hollywood's elite. He had a half-dozen red roses delivered 3 times a week to her crypt for the next 20 years. Unlike her other two husbands or other men who knew her intimately (or claimed to), he refused to talk about her publicly or "cash in" on the relationship. He never married again.

Joe was finally taken home on January 19, 1999. His last words, according to Engelberg, were "I'll finally get to see Marilyn."

It's sweet. The reality was probably marred with violent jealousy and making each other miserable. But the essence of the story, when boiled down to eight sentences, is sweet.

See the stone set in your eyes
See the thorn twist in your side

Sleight of hand and twist of fate
On a bed of nails she makes me wait

Through the storm we reach the shore
You give it all but I want more

I can't live, with or without you

-- With or Without You, U2

1 comment:

Joshua Allen said...

You're kidding, right??

That's the textbook description of codependence/love-addiction. The "nothing without you" mentality is what creates stalkers, John Karrs, and many abusive relationship patterns. It makes for good stories and songs, because it's dramatic, but it has nothing to do with sweetness or love. It's a favorite tactic of people who are fearful or hurt to self-destruct without admitting it to themselves.

The opposite of this, "wait for you" -- is the "Care enough to let you go". For example, the lyrics to Celine Dion's "my heart will go on"; that is very sweet. May everyone be lucky enough to have at least a couple of those in their lifetime.