I realized a moment ago that living in a house that's too big bothers me much more than living in a place that's slightly too small.
I got another crash pad in San Francisco, this time near Coit Tower for a couple of months. It is very small, roughly the size of a hotel room. It's on a hill and has a great view of the city. I really like it!
My parents live in Vegas, where real estate used to be inexpensive, and two of their friends bought 8000 sq ft houses. Then their son went to college, so it was just the two of them in this house. That is a large home! Seems like it would feel so un-cozy as your footsteps echo around the uninhabited rooms.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Monday, September 20, 2010
advice to past self
A couple years ago, Bez (Google engineering director) made a comment that really stuck with me. He was deciding whether to take on a particular project at work, and he said, "I don't do anything half-assed. Either I don't do it at all, or I use my whole ass."
I think if I were able to give a single piece of advice to my 18-year-old self, it would be that.
If I were to follow my natural instincts, the amount of effort I put into a situation depends on how happy I am with it. There is a formula for that:
I've been most happy in situations when I came from worse environments. I loved Caltech wholeheartedly, partly because I felt like a fish out of water in high school in Las Vegas, and Caltech was such a welcome change. If I'd gone from an amazing high school, I probably would not love it as much.
Thus, it doesn't make sense to base your effort on happiness then, because you'd only end up putting in a lot of effort if you had a bad experience leading up to it which forced you to lower your expectations.
Once you decide to do something, even if you have a lot of doubts, you should just give it your all.
I think if I were able to give a single piece of advice to my 18-year-old self, it would be that.
If I were to follow my natural instincts, the amount of effort I put into a situation depends on how happy I am with it. There is a formula for that:
happiness = results - expectations
I've been most happy in situations when I came from worse environments. I loved Caltech wholeheartedly, partly because I felt like a fish out of water in high school in Las Vegas, and Caltech was such a welcome change. If I'd gone from an amazing high school, I probably would not love it as much.
Thus, it doesn't make sense to base your effort on happiness then, because you'd only end up putting in a lot of effort if you had a bad experience leading up to it which forced you to lower your expectations.
Once you decide to do something, even if you have a lot of doubts, you should just give it your all.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
new gym?
This morning, three unpleasant incidents happened in a row, on my way to 24 Hour Fitness.
First I parked my car and went next door to buy a locker padlock at Wal-Mart. The woman in front of me was a well-dressed lady with coiffed brown hair. She asked the cashier about the return policy. When she couldn't understand the cashier's response, she started being rude and repeating the question in a condescending tone.
Then it was my turn at the register. As I stepped up, she suddenly thrust out her purchases at arm's length, almost hitting me. She said to me, "You're in my personal space."
I said, "What?"
She said, "You've been pushing me in line, and coughing on my back." (I've had a cough for two weeks.)
We exchanged some more useless words, and then she took all her shopping bags and left.
I paid for my lock, and went next door to 24-hour Fitness. I entered the locker room and started to change. The locker room was nearly empty except for me, an older woman in green stretch pants next to me, and another woman blow-drying her hair in the adjoining room. After a minute, I noticed the woman next to me gyrating her hips in a strange manner. I looked over, and she was bent at the waist with her back arched, rotating her hips in a circle. It resembled a lap dance.
I finished changing into gym clothes, and went into the cardio area to use the stationary bike. A few minutes later, a man in his 50s walked over and mumbled something to me. I asked him to repeat it, and he said, "I bet you look real good on a bike outdoors!"
It is disturbing when people start unwelcome conversations during exercise, because you cannot easily walk away. So I said, "Thanks" and opened my book. He said, "No, thank YOU!"
He went to the drinking fountain. When he walked back toward me, I kept my eyes on the book. Then he said loudly to the air around me, "Boy, some people! They just think they're too good for everyone else!"
He walked away. I thought to myself that if instead of Wal-Mart and 24-hour Fitness, I had gone to Whole Foods and Equinox gym, these things wouldn't have happened.
Then I felt that perhaps that is a snooty thought.
But it is unpleasant to have so many distasteful interactions within 15 minutes.
First I parked my car and went next door to buy a locker padlock at Wal-Mart. The woman in front of me was a well-dressed lady with coiffed brown hair. She asked the cashier about the return policy. When she couldn't understand the cashier's response, she started being rude and repeating the question in a condescending tone.
Then it was my turn at the register. As I stepped up, she suddenly thrust out her purchases at arm's length, almost hitting me. She said to me, "You're in my personal space."
I said, "What?"
She said, "You've been pushing me in line, and coughing on my back." (I've had a cough for two weeks.)
We exchanged some more useless words, and then she took all her shopping bags and left.
I paid for my lock, and went next door to 24-hour Fitness. I entered the locker room and started to change. The locker room was nearly empty except for me, an older woman in green stretch pants next to me, and another woman blow-drying her hair in the adjoining room. After a minute, I noticed the woman next to me gyrating her hips in a strange manner. I looked over, and she was bent at the waist with her back arched, rotating her hips in a circle. It resembled a lap dance.
I finished changing into gym clothes, and went into the cardio area to use the stationary bike. A few minutes later, a man in his 50s walked over and mumbled something to me. I asked him to repeat it, and he said, "I bet you look real good on a bike outdoors!"
It is disturbing when people start unwelcome conversations during exercise, because you cannot easily walk away. So I said, "Thanks" and opened my book. He said, "No, thank YOU!"
He went to the drinking fountain. When he walked back toward me, I kept my eyes on the book. Then he said loudly to the air around me, "Boy, some people! They just think they're too good for everyone else!"
He walked away. I thought to myself that if instead of Wal-Mart and 24-hour Fitness, I had gone to Whole Foods and Equinox gym, these things wouldn't have happened.
Then I felt that perhaps that is a snooty thought.
But it is unpleasant to have so many distasteful interactions within 15 minutes.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
omst leaving
I'm sad because Omst is leaving the country. He's moving back to Toronto, where his parents and sister (and her family) live. Tuesday is his last day in San Francisco. He's been going around snapping photos of his last Tartine croissant and his last time lounging on his Mission roof deck.
Omst sat at the desk next to me when we worked on Google Desktop. I met him during my first day at Google. Omst was 22 at the time, with curly hair and long limbs. He liked to wear dark earthy pants and bright colored shirts (often green). I told him that he looked like a tree.
He drove me to TGIF one Friday. A song came on the radio (Dido's "White Flag") and I said I liked the song. Omst did not mock my taste. Instead he agreed with me that it's a good song.
A couple weeks later, someone broke into my car while it was parked outside my apartment. They stole all my CDs from the glove compartment, and the contents of my gym bag. I told Omst over IM that it happened. When I came into work the next morning, Omst handed me a CD. He said, "I know all your CDs got stolen, so I got you a new one to restart your collection."
It was a Dido CD. I was so touched!
Omst loves his cat. He also loves drinking wine. One day I got him a gift that combines his love of cats and his love of wine. When I told him this, he said, "What is it? It sounds disgusting."
It was a cat-paw bottle stopper. Kind of like this one, but different:
Omst has really grown into a gentleman over the years. When I first knew him, he would say, "Why should I give a woman my jacket if she's cold? Why didn't she bring her own jacket? She should give me her jacket!" But now he is the picture of chivalry, always offering to carry my bag and asking if I'm cold.
I will miss Omst when he goes to the Great White North!
Omst sat at the desk next to me when we worked on Google Desktop. I met him during my first day at Google. Omst was 22 at the time, with curly hair and long limbs. He liked to wear dark earthy pants and bright colored shirts (often green). I told him that he looked like a tree.
He drove me to TGIF one Friday. A song came on the radio (Dido's "White Flag") and I said I liked the song. Omst did not mock my taste. Instead he agreed with me that it's a good song.
A couple weeks later, someone broke into my car while it was parked outside my apartment. They stole all my CDs from the glove compartment, and the contents of my gym bag. I told Omst over IM that it happened. When I came into work the next morning, Omst handed me a CD. He said, "I know all your CDs got stolen, so I got you a new one to restart your collection."
It was a Dido CD. I was so touched!
Omst loves his cat. He also loves drinking wine. One day I got him a gift that combines his love of cats and his love of wine. When I told him this, he said, "What is it? It sounds disgusting."
It was a cat-paw bottle stopper. Kind of like this one, but different:
Omst has really grown into a gentleman over the years. When I first knew him, he would say, "Why should I give a woman my jacket if she's cold? Why didn't she bring her own jacket? She should give me her jacket!" But now he is the picture of chivalry, always offering to carry my bag and asking if I'm cold.
I will miss Omst when he goes to the Great White North!
Friday, September 10, 2010
pho challenge
Tonight, six of us from Sunfire went to eat pho along downtown Mountain View.
Pho Gardens offers a $22 bowl of pho, with two pounds of noodles and two pounds of meat. If you can eat it within one hour, you get a free meal, plus you can take the bowl home.
Sharam decided to do it. We made a side bet as well (see the cash on the table).
They brought out a large bowl that we thought was the challenge, but which turned out just to be the extra-large version of the regular meal.
This was the challenge:
Sharam ate for 15 minutes, and then gave up. The noodles actually absorbed the soup and expanded, so there was a larger mass of pho remaining when he gave up than when he started.
The restaurant said that Joey Chestnut (national hot dog eating champion) came by, and set the record for beating the pho challenge (14 minutes).
Sharam took the pho home in five take-out containers. We discovered that the bottom of the bowl is decorated with a cute piggy that says, "You did it!"
Pho Gardens offers a $22 bowl of pho, with two pounds of noodles and two pounds of meat. If you can eat it within one hour, you get a free meal, plus you can take the bowl home.
Sharam decided to do it. We made a side bet as well (see the cash on the table).
They brought out a large bowl that we thought was the challenge, but which turned out just to be the extra-large version of the regular meal.
This was the challenge:
Sharam ate for 15 minutes, and then gave up. The noodles actually absorbed the soup and expanded, so there was a larger mass of pho remaining when he gave up than when he started.
The restaurant said that Joey Chestnut (national hot dog eating champion) came by, and set the record for beating the pho challenge (14 minutes).
Sharam took the pho home in five take-out containers. We discovered that the bottom of the bowl is decorated with a cute piggy that says, "You did it!"
Saturday, September 04, 2010
my name is khan
Yesterday Omst showed me a Bollywood movie "My Name is Khan". It is about a Muslim guy with Aspberger's, who marries a Hindu hairdresser. After 9/11, they experience racial violence, and his lack of empathy is hard for her to handle. He sets off on an epic journey to regain her love.
The romance is very sweet! When they first encounter each other, she is so gregarious and he's the opposite. They don't seem like a good fit. But then the movie reveals that she had a previous arranged-marriage, where her husband harassed her and eventually ran off with another woman to Australia.
It's interesting how logical appreciation is different from emotional appreciation. I'm sure that before her experience, she logically appreciated kindness too, but it's different to value it intuitively.
...
My favorite scene in the movie was after a young computer hacker with a frizzy afro discovers that his previous hacking involving Khan has helped him on his quest. He calls up his mother and says solemnly, "Mom, today I am proud to call myself a hacker."
There is a long pause, and then he says, "Yes, I've eaten already. At least listen to what I'm saying to you first!"
The romance is very sweet! When they first encounter each other, she is so gregarious and he's the opposite. They don't seem like a good fit. But then the movie reveals that she had a previous arranged-marriage, where her husband harassed her and eventually ran off with another woman to Australia.
It's interesting how logical appreciation is different from emotional appreciation. I'm sure that before her experience, she logically appreciated kindness too, but it's different to value it intuitively.
...
My favorite scene in the movie was after a young computer hacker with a frizzy afro discovers that his previous hacking involving Khan has helped him on his quest. He calls up his mother and says solemnly, "Mom, today I am proud to call myself a hacker."
There is a long pause, and then he says, "Yes, I've eaten already. At least listen to what I'm saying to you first!"
Friday, August 27, 2010
moffett field, we have a problem
Yesterday Peter Norvig came by the office for lunch. Before Google, Peter was at NASA for three years. Yishan and I told him how Ed Lu (former Google manager and also former NASA astronaut) comes to the office from time to time.
Me: "I feel safer when Ed is around. If there were some catastrophe, he could MacGyver a solution to get us out."
Peter: "If the office started losing oxygen rapidly, he would know what to do."
Me and Yishan: "Yes, exactly! You understand."
Me: "I feel safer when Ed is around. If there were some catastrophe, he could MacGyver a solution to get us out."
Peter: "If the office started losing oxygen rapidly, he would know what to do."
Me and Yishan: "Yes, exactly! You understand."
Thursday, August 26, 2010
hardcore risk
I had brunch with a few longtime friends on Sunday. Later in the day, over IM with one of them:
xevirt: btw I don't think you went over the line this morning when you teased Octo about his dog
niniane: that's because you don't know that his other dog passed on a few months ago
xevirt: oh wow niniane, that's a hardcore risk you took there
niniane: I know.
xevirt: i'm surprised he didn't start climbing over the table to attack you
niniane: haha yeah. You would've not understood why. You'd just be sitting there, "Whoa. I don't know what's going on."
xevirt: well there's little needed to understand once people start climbing tables
xevirt: btw I don't think you went over the line this morning when you teased Octo about his dog
niniane: that's because you don't know that his other dog passed on a few months ago
xevirt: oh wow niniane, that's a hardcore risk you took there
niniane: I know.
xevirt: i'm surprised he didn't start climbing over the table to attack you
niniane: haha yeah. You would've not understood why. You'd just be sitting there, "Whoa. I don't know what's going on."
xevirt: well there's little needed to understand once people start climbing tables
Saturday, August 21, 2010
canadian technology
Omst has decided to move back to Canada, where his parents and sister reside.
Omst: "lol i remember a googler saying to me 'you're moving back to canada? are there even computers there?'"
I relayed this to my brother.
Tom: haha are there computers in canada??
me: omst can tell us when he gets there
me: if he tells us via phone call, we'll know the answer is no
Tom: what's a phone again
Tom: is that what they used before skype
me: it's iphone-skype
me: that reminds me of this: book google.
Omst: "lol i remember a googler saying to me 'you're moving back to canada? are there even computers there?'"
I relayed this to my brother.
Tom: haha are there computers in canada??
me: omst can tell us when he gets there
me: if he tells us via phone call, we'll know the answer is no
Tom: what's a phone again
Tom: is that what they used before skype
me: it's iphone-skype
me: that reminds me of this: book google.
book google
When you need to figure out something, so you look it up in a book, like in the olden times, when dinosaurs ruled the earth.
Guy 1: Quick! What's the definiton of "callow?"
Guy 2: I don't know! My iPhone 4 doesn't get signal here!
Guy 3: Book google that shit!
Friday, August 20, 2010
another blog of mine
Yishan and I have been doing a Brute Force lunch tour, eating at every adjacent restaurant along Castro Street. We're keeping a blog of our experiences at http://sunfire-lunch.blogspot.com/
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
delayed rewards
I've noticed a pattern of some young engineers getting discouraged because they're not receiving much recognition for their work.
This happens disproportionately amongst people who don't fit the standard stereotype, namely female engineers and some minorities. The young engineer does a bunch of work, and hardly anyone notices. They start to experience self-doubt.
What exacerbates the situation is that they look around and see a senior engineer receiving accolades continually. They see Bob winning another award, or getting another five patents, or overhear people praise how amazing Bob is. The young engineer decides that he's not in the same league as Bob. Sometimes they wonder if they should switch to a different type of job.
A good manager can ameliorate this by giving instant feedback, but not everyone has that luxury.
The thing they don't know is: there's a lag between when you do the work and when you receive the recognition for it. The lag is typically a year or more. When you're doing the work, and even right after you finish, the reception is usually silence. You have to take a leap of faith that one day, your work will be warmly received. Experienced engineers get into a rolling-recognition situation where at any moment, they're reaping appreciation for work they did a year or two ago.
The journey always looks grim in the moment. When Frodo and Sam took the Ring to be destroyed in Mordor, it was tedious drudgery, they were hungry and cold, and they kept fighting with each other. Afterwards, they were praised as gods, and epic songs were written in their honor to be passed down throughout the ages. But at the time, it didn't look so rosy!
Same for working in software. I will leave it to the reader to make analogies for what Mordor symbolizes for you.
This happens disproportionately amongst people who don't fit the standard stereotype, namely female engineers and some minorities. The young engineer does a bunch of work, and hardly anyone notices. They start to experience self-doubt.
What exacerbates the situation is that they look around and see a senior engineer receiving accolades continually. They see Bob winning another award, or getting another five patents, or overhear people praise how amazing Bob is. The young engineer decides that he's not in the same league as Bob. Sometimes they wonder if they should switch to a different type of job.
A good manager can ameliorate this by giving instant feedback, but not everyone has that luxury.
The thing they don't know is: there's a lag between when you do the work and when you receive the recognition for it. The lag is typically a year or more. When you're doing the work, and even right after you finish, the reception is usually silence. You have to take a leap of faith that one day, your work will be warmly received. Experienced engineers get into a rolling-recognition situation where at any moment, they're reaping appreciation for work they did a year or two ago.
The journey always looks grim in the moment. When Frodo and Sam took the Ring to be destroyed in Mordor, it was tedious drudgery, they were hungry and cold, and they kept fighting with each other. Afterwards, they were praised as gods, and epic songs were written in their honor to be passed down throughout the ages. But at the time, it didn't look so rosy!
Same for working in software. I will leave it to the reader to make analogies for what Mordor symbolizes for you.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Monday, August 09, 2010
don't say 'if N = 1' (everyone else already made that joke)
The big news today is a circulated proof that P != NP. Researchers are analyzing the proof, and so far no one has found a flaw in it.
Me: "Did you see the 88-page paper? It is so understated. It starts off so cavalier: 'The P = NP question is generally considered one of the most important questions in computer science'..." [sending along the paper]
Stuttgart: "The title of the paper should be 'OMGWTF P != NP', and then the rest of the paper should be a dry technical proof."
Me: "Did you see the 88-page paper? It is so understated. It starts off so cavalier: 'The P = NP question is generally considered one of the most important questions in computer science'..." [sending along the paper]
Stuttgart: "The title of the paper should be 'OMGWTF P != NP', and then the rest of the paper should be a dry technical proof."
Monday, August 02, 2010
but you can't juggle while driving a car
I visited my brother over the weekend. On the way home from dim sum, he was talking about where he could go to meet smart girls in the LA area.
Tom: "Maybe I should swing by Caltech."
Me: "You'll be competing for a few girls with a ton of guys."
Tom: "I can take on Caltech guys. I'll just say, 'Ladies! I take showers!'"
Me: "Caltech guys shower too."
Tom: "'Ladies! I wear shoes!'"
Me: "Oh, that's a good one."
Tom: "'Ladies! I get around in a car instead of a unicycle!'"
Me: [laughing]
Tom: "'My choice of transportation has four wheels!'"
Tom: "Maybe I should swing by Caltech."
Me: "You'll be competing for a few girls with a ton of guys."
Tom: "I can take on Caltech guys. I'll just say, 'Ladies! I take showers!'"
Me: "Caltech guys shower too."
Tom: "'Ladies! I wear shoes!'"
Me: "Oh, that's a good one."
Tom: "'Ladies! I get around in a car instead of a unicycle!'"
Me: [laughing]
Tom: "'My choice of transportation has four wheels!'"
Monday, July 26, 2010
Glassblowing!
I went to a glasswork class with my friend Ione, in San Jose.
Ione making a glass paperweight. It is extremely hot in the glass studio, and we all regretted wearing black.
Me using tongs to pull on the edges of my glass flower.
The glass is fluid, so we had to roll it back and forth to avoid it dripping into a puddle on the ground. Here you can see the flower in progress, from the side.
The finished glass flower. I gave it to Elaine as a Sunfire flower ornament.
The finished paperweight. I gave it to Yishan as a Sunfire paperweight.
Ione making a glass paperweight. It is extremely hot in the glass studio, and we all regretted wearing black.
Me using tongs to pull on the edges of my glass flower.
The glass is fluid, so we had to roll it back and forth to avoid it dripping into a puddle on the ground. Here you can see the flower in progress, from the side.
The finished glass flower. I gave it to Elaine as a Sunfire flower ornament.
The finished paperweight. I gave it to Yishan as a Sunfire paperweight.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
I eventually passed 4 songs on Hard!
Playing "Rock Band" with a few friends, including a work colleague. I am doing the vocals.
Me: "I am going to switch from Medium to Hard!"
Friend: "Time for hubris, I see."
Me: "It's hubris if we fail. If we succeed, it's called ambition."
Colleague: "I think we'll be saying that one a lot."
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Flood of tweets (fleets?)
Eating burritos with LG (now working at Twitter), Jon, and EDX.
Me: "LG, have you been watching the World Cup?"
LG: "Yes, in fact I watch the games very intensely, because the instant a goal is scored, we switch the Twitter GSLBs to point to a colo with better write performance. Usually traffic is optimized for reads instead of writes."
Me: "Awesome."
Monday, July 12, 2010
Friday, July 09, 2010
starcraft, chess
Conversation with a Korean games company executive, "Jun".
Greg: "Why didn't anyone in Korea make an RTS to compete with Starcraft? You guys had ten years!"
Jun: "That's like saying, 'Do you play Go? Why didn't you make another version of Go? That game is 5000 years old.' We didn't make another version because we were already playing Starcraft!"
Me: [lol]
Jun: "It's like if you said to someone, 'Would you like to play chess, or a chess-like game whose rules I made up?' They'd say, 'No, I'll play chess!'"
Greg: "Why didn't anyone in Korea make an RTS to compete with Starcraft? You guys had ten years!"
Jun: "That's like saying, 'Do you play Go? Why didn't you make another version of Go? That game is 5000 years old.' We didn't make another version because we were already playing Starcraft!"
Me: [lol]
Jun: "It's like if you said to someone, 'Would you like to play chess, or a chess-like game whose rules I made up?' They'd say, 'No, I'll play chess!'"
Thursday, July 08, 2010
Spoiler alert for Sixth Sense, Star Wars, 300
Today LG and Jon drove down from SF to work out of Sunfire for the day. During lunch at a kosher restaurant:
LG: "I have a T-shirt that spoils a whole bunch of movies. Like, it says 'Darth is Luke's father.'"
Me: "That shirt is horrible. I read several lines on it before realizing they were spoilers."
LG: "Haha yeah! Or 'Bruce Willis is a ghost'."
Me: "That's so bad. Sixth Sense is such an amazing movie when you get the twist."
LG: "Or '299 die.'"
Me: "Wait, what's that? I don't know that one. [horrified realization] Oh my God!! LG! Why did you do that? Argh!"
LG: [laughing sheepishly] "You haven't watched it yet? I'm sorry! I didn't know!"
Me: "I can't believe that shirt ruined another movie when you're not even wearing it."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)