My dad often tells me that I need to be more tactful. He gets very angry when I voice unwelcome opinions to other people, and says that this is going to engender resentment which will one day bite me without me even knowing it.
My colleague Melissa also advises me that there's a time and place for things. It's not my place to tell casual friends about negative opinions. Her example is: "You can't tell someone that they have an ugly baby, unless it's your spouse."
She said that if I want to be radically honest, that's my choice. But then I have to accept that it's not the norm in our society, and I must be prepared to deal with the consequences.
I'm not sure if I'm prepared to deal with the consequences!
Today I'm reading the list of Top 5 Regrets of the Dying:
3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings. Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result. We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.
How to reconcile this? I don't want to experience this regret as I'm dying. But I also don't want to offend people and then regret it as I'm living.