canceling the apocalypse

S: "In the midwest, we had basements in case of tornados."

Me: "Here we worry about earthquakes.  At least with a tornado, you get some warning."

S: "There's supposed to be a way to detect an earthquake.  There's a type of fish that will swim toward the shore, a few seconds before the earthquake."

C: "If you hold back the fish, does it prevent the earthquake?  [mimes holding down a fish with outstretched arm]  'Not today.' "

Car #2!

I've only purchased one car in my life, 16 years ago.  I've been driving it ever since.  

Nowadays people like to make comments about it.  Last month:

J: "Niniane, I like that you drive this car.  What this car says is, I don't give a fuck what anyone thinks about me."

Me: "Wait, that's not true!  What are you implying that people are thinking about me?"

...

Yesterday I finally purchased a car!  

It's so foxy, with the headlight eyes, and the reflective exterior.  

This is the last time it'll look this clean, however.

Aff: "I pity the first person who puts a dent on it.  New car owners get so angry about that, like 'How could you be such a fool?'  Unless they did it themselves, in which case it's all 'It couldn't be helped.'"

...

Azer says he names his cars.  "I named my sports car after a French model.  It was a French version of 'Lisa'.  But then it developed a flat tire the next day after I bought it.  So I decided it needed a more high-maintenance name.  Now it's named Gisele."

...

It took me months to buy this, because the San Francisco Mazda dealership uses all the high-pressure tactics that are stereotyped for car salesmen.  The "wait here while I check with my manager" and "people generally pay MSRP for this car", etc.

But I discovered the Fremont Mazda dealership, who gave me a very good quote over email, and then honored it when I arrived, with no hassle!  They pointed at a printout on their wall, which listed in tiny font the sales volume of each dealership in California, and themselves in the top #1 position with a yellow highlight.  They were very proud of this.

the pain of shopping

I hate shopping using my corporeal body.  I'm very happy to shop online, and get a little thrill of anticipation once I've placed the order.  But I really detest real-life shopping.

I realized today that this is because in real life, often your interests are misaligned with the salesperson.  They want to persuade you to make the purchase.  It is harder to stay impartial and make a rational decision, when they're using sales tactics to convince you.

This is the primary reason I've only bought one car in the past 16 years.  Car salespeople are the worst in this regard!

I dislike being in situations where I have to exert willpower to fight against the other person's goal of influencing me to purchase.  

I don't know how other people can tolerate shopping in-person.

Noma

A few months ago, I went to eat at NOMA with a few friends / former-colleagues from Minted.  NOMA was previously ranked the #1 restaurant in the world.  Now it's ranked #3.

We all watched a television show about NOMA's innovative food, and how they forage in the forest for ingredients.

This was the best dish.  It was an onion.  I know it doesn't look that great.  But it WAS that great.  It was by far the best onion I've ever eaten, and will ever eat.  This was the onion to end all onions.

We toured the kitchen afterwards.  They were probably extra nice to us because we couldn't remember whether it's customary to tip in Copenhagen, and Eric insisted to be on the safe side, we must all tip 20%.

When we got back to our lodgings, we discovered you don't need to tip in Copenhagen.

Eric got a ton of compliments from the kitchen staff on his Metallica T-shirt.


Making chocolate moss!


Interns coring apples in the kitchen.


They were growing herbs in their own little greenroom.  They also had a pickling room.


We saw them plucking the ducks behind the restaurant, as we were walking in.  They'd just hunted the ducks that morning.  The ducks had a green head and brown chest.  It's what you'd expect if you googled for an image of a duck.  Anyway, the duck tasted like a standard smoked duck, but "more so".

This was some kind of egg drink.  It reminded me of Alice in Wonderland.

Leaves foraged by their interns that morning!

After I got back to the US:

Brother: "So how was NOMA?"

Me: "So great.  They deserve to be the top restaurant in the world."

Brother: "How would you compare it to French Laundry?  You've been there, right?"

Me: "Once, many years ago.  NOMA is more impressive because they made leaves and an onion taste incredible.  I mean, anyone can make foie gras taste good, but it takes true genius to make an onion taste good."

Brother: "Oh, so French Laundry is just anyone now?"

The big white chunks are salt.  The items in the middle are leaves.  We used the sharpened stick as an eating utensil.

Copenhagen!  We walked around and took boat rides.  We were there for four days.  I had a cold / flu the whole time.

It was lovely to go on an eating adventure with foodie friends.  I'd totally go to another city to eat at a restaurant!

butter battle

Christmas photos!

Lavep hand-letterpressed this Christmas card!  It took him two evenings.  The text is a reference to how I like to walk in and say "hello friends!".

A pomegranate dish cooked by Azer's girlfriend, to celebrate the winter solstice.


A peas-and-cheese dish cooked by Azer's girlfriend.  This is the only time I remember being unable to stop eating peas.

The recipe calls for butter, but Azer insisted on using olive oil because he thinks butter is too unhealthy.

A chicken baked by Aff.  We sent this photo to Azer to show him how much butter is being used, along with the caption, "That's how we roll."  

Azer: "Well done."

Christmas tree!  I like following traditions, knowing that millions of other people are doing the same. It feels community-like.

their christmas tradition involves pager duty

Earlier this month:

Aff: "I'm going to get you a Playstation 4 and a bunch of games for Christmas.  What genre do you like?"

Me: "Story-driven puzzle games."

Aff: "I'll just get you a gift card.  All these games are downloadable."

Me: "You mean from the network that's going to be down on Dec 25?"

And now...

Who called it?!??

issue with all Star Wars movies (not a spoiler)

Last week (before anyone saw the new movie, so there are no spoilers):

Me: "I have an issue with all the Star Wars movies.  They always fly through a narrow tunnel and shoot one spot and then explode a gigantic ship.  You'd think the engineers would learn the first time.   It'd be passed down as lore.  'Remember to double-check the design so it can't be exploded from a single point.'"

Others: "True, they exploded the Death Star twice."

Me: "And Anakin exploded a big station in Phantom Menace.  You'd think that would be the failure case that gets repeated in engineering class, like how we all watched that video of the bridge that collapsed."

galapagos

My brother and I went on a cruise to the Galapagos!

There were 17 guests onboard our cruise.  Christian was the bartender and waiter.  We had fruity cocktails the first night.

We saw pink flamingos.  They look just like the plastic lawn ornaments, but very graceful.  

A shark!  So cute.

Bermuders (accountants from Bermuda) standing behind a giant tortoise.  

Me: "There need to be more kinds of superheroes.  Like a superhero computer scientist: Hacker-Man.  Also accountants like you guys.  Super-Accountant would discover an account that doesn't balance to zero, and fix it."

Bermuder: "First there'd need to be a trilogy to explain how the account even got into that state."

Me: "No one would suspect the accountant for being a superhero.  It's the perfect cover."

Bermuder: "Yeah, we actually are superheroes."

Me: "Ha ha."

Bermuder: "See?  We're even talking about it right now, and yet you still don't believe it."

Dolphins that randomly swam beside our ship for 10 minutes.

The Galapagos natives care deeply about conservationism.  They got upset whenever they saw garbage.  It was pleasant to see tour guides care so much.

Our cruise friend took a lot of candids.  I'm always sitting around looking distracted.

Our boat!  It was great being on a boat with 17 people instead of thousands, like other cruise ships.

not perfect but still perfect CG

I watched this CG video of Bruce Lee again.  While I still love love love it, I see now how there's always a little trick that distracts from his face.  There's a shadow that falls onto him, or a momentary de-focusing of the camera.  We're seeing his reflection in water, or from far above.  It's only at the very end that they do the impressive close-up.

The voice acting and the writing is still magical.

Tough Mudder

My brother has been training all year to run a Tough Mudder.  It is a 10-mile race with 20+ obstacles like crawling through mud and over 10-foot-tall walls.  I decided to support him as a spectator.

Then I decided I might as well join myself too!  So I signed up as a participant.

Tom's very buff coworkers joined our team.

The night before, we stayed at a lovely AirBnb house with a pool. We drank wine and ordered a pizza.

I got to watch my first League of Legends game. My brother had to play a game immediately, in order to not "decay" from Diamond League to Platinum. This was tremendously important.

We scoured the AirBnb house looking for a mouse, but there was none. So he had to play on the Macbook trackpad! It was painful. Even as a noob, I could tell he was misfiring everywhere.

The start of the race!  Our team is called "I Thought This was a 5k".

It was the day after Halloween, so some of us were in costume.



Post-race!  (Some people are already drinking beer and not pictured.)

The most memorable obstacle was sliding into an ice bath.

The second was the "Berlin Wall", where I somehow climbed over a 10-foot wall with no help.  I was surprised that I was able to do it, even while I did it.  It had tiny, nearly invisible, footholds between the wall planks.

I came home and promptly developed a sinus infection for a week.  It has been really disgusting.

It was a bonding experience, and I'm very glad I did it.  I don't think I'd ever do it again though, due to the sinus infection.

sick

I've been sick for a month.  I came down with a cold last month, which gradually receded but left me with a cough.  Then I did the Tough Mudder SoCal with my brother, which involved jumping into many pools of cold water, and now I have a cold again.

Curses!

It is so humbling to be sick.  Simple things like walking across the room seem like insurmountable difficulties.

I don't know why people say "I'm so humbled" when they win the Oscar.  The real humbling comes when you fall ill!

allons-y!

I just watched "Day of the Doctor" on netflix, and it was amazing!

What a magical world we live in, that we can watch such things!

Some works of fiction are so beautiful that it makes me agog. I am struck by how masterful they are.  They tell a story that transports me to another world, and make me want to be a better person.

I hope one day people use Evertoon to create movies that make me feel awestruck in this way. Then I will be satisfied that I did not walk this earth in vain.

blood war

Yesterday there was a mosquito biting me as I slept! I woke up at 4am with seven itchy bites. I stayed awake, determined to catch and kill it. A dozen times, I slapped myself in the face, trying to kill the mosquito.

Finally after an hour, I succeeded! I stared at its tiny body on my hand for 10 seconds, relishing its unmoving wings and spindly legs.

I went back to sleep. Two hours later, I woke up from getting bitten by a second mosquito! Horrors! I spent 20 minutes hunting and killing it.

An hour later, I woke up from a third mosquito!

I'm very frustrated. It is a war. I bought a bunch of yeast today and will go home and make traps for the hateful mosquitoes. I found a recipe online for "homemade mosquito trap".  I already purchased an insect zapper on Amazon, but it was completely ineffective against these mosquitoes.

problems of the super rich

Chatting with Azer.  He just had lunch with "Bob", a friend who is an executive at Google.

Azer: "Bob told me that people who have too much money are really messed-up.  He said everyone he's met who has over $200 million dollars is screwed up."

Me: "Why $200M?  That's a strange number to choose.  Wouldn't you say $100M if you were just picking a large number?"

Azer: "Maybe he has more than $100M but less than $200M, so this way he's still below the screwed-up threshold."

Me: "I wonder if next time you see him, he'll say, 'Actually Azer, you can have $200M without being screwed-up, but once you get over $205M, you become really messed up.'"

reality show ideas

Yuichi told my brother and me to watch a reality show about Koreans clubbing in LA.

It's entertaining, but every episode takes place in a nightclub!  They all work as bartenders, dancers, or club promoters, so every episode is filled with blue dim lighting and alcohol.

I want to see a reality show about research scientists who are curing cancer.  It would still have drama, love triangles, victory, despair, and charismatic attractive people.  But while watching, we'd also learn about the latest cancer research, so we could feel good about watching it.

I'd also like to watch a reality show about atomic physicists.

Magical lyft

Today I got picked up by this awesome lyft car!  It's blue and square, covered in Dalek and TARDIS decals, and of course note the license plate.

It's wonderful when people make art for pure enjoyment, with no ulterior commercial motive.  

I got in and said, "It's bigger on the inside!"  I asked the driver if he gets that from every passenger, and he said sadly it is rare.

I wish I could request him again.  I also wish other Lyft drivers did this, so that I'd get picked up by phantom tollbooths and banana cars and batmobiles.

why do people optimize for deathbed

I often hear people say to each other, "Don't work too hard.  No one says on their deathbed that they wish they had worked harder."

I'm sure that's true about deathbeds.  But I bet students who slacked during college wish they'd worked harder, when job hunting season comes around.  I bet plenty of people in their 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s look at their friends with more satisfying jobs and greater financial security, and wish they'd worker harder themselves.

Why do people optimize for the one moment of the deathbed?  You should optimize for the 80 years that you're living, not the final 12 hours that you're dying.

I also hear people complaining about all the ways they're unhappy about their marriage or family, and then they say, "But at least I'll have somebody at my deathbed, so I won't be dying alone."  By the time you get to your deathbed, it's basically Game Over, so why spend any effort improving it?  

cooking

I've been using Blue Apron to cook.  They send me the ingredients, and then I chop, saute, bake.

Tonight I had 5 people over.  I made fried chicken and a cornbread pie.  These were recipes from Blue Apron, which I expanded to serve 6 people.

Fried chicken is really hard to make for 6 people!  It took forever.  I think we finally ate at 9:30pm.  But at least it was better than the first Minted engineering steak-cooking night, when the gas went out for 1.5 hours, and we ended up eating at midnight.

Tonight, Arv to me: "The cooking -- was it hard to scale?"

Me: "Yes!"

Arv: "Yeah.  But it came out pretty good."

Me: "I was going to make a pumpkin pie too."

Everyone: "Oh my God.  No."

Me: "But I gave up on that."

Arv: "You have to ship."

San Andreas movie in 4D with Caltech

My brother took me to see "San Andreas" in the only 4D movie theatre in the country!



4D has fog, seats rotating and shaking, wind, and mist.

Caltech featured prominently in this movie!  Tom summarized it as "What's going on?  Only Caltech knows what's happening.  Who can help?  Only Caltech can get the word out!"

I made him sit through the entire credits to see Caltech credited.  This was in vain, because Caltech was not credited.  Various trivial crap was thanked, but not Caltech, which was shown and mentioned 100 times. Tom said "Any resemblance to real persons or universities is purely accidental."

Me: "They must have paid so much to make this movie.  It was all CG."

Tom: "And they had to pay Caltech.  That can't have been cheap."

Me: "Really?" 

Tom: "Ha ha ha.  Caltech probably did it for free." 

Me: [grumbling] "There was no credit.  Caltech's seismology department is so good.  When's the next time Caltech can possibly get credited?  It's going to have to be a movie about a bio-chemical virus."

On a separate note, I had an issue with a certain person going without breathing in the movie for a very long time, like 4 minutes.  Wouldn't brain death have occurred?  I tried googling for it, but all the results are about Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas.

car

Due to an "incident", my car now makes a grinding noise whenever I turn right.  Poor beloved car!

So it seems like I should probably replace my 16-year-old car.  It's a Honda Civic with 110k miles.



The number of choices is overwhelming.

One problem is that I'm going to dent any car that I get.  It's inevitable.  So there is no point thinking about re-sale value, because the re-sale value will be low once I've dented every panel.  I also can't lease, because I'd have to pay a big penalty when I bring it back dented.

Maybe I should just get another Civic.

The most important quality is that it should be black or dark blue.