Saturday, April 08, 2006

Convo with Andrew.

At lunch with Andrew.

Me: I told my mom that I may never find the right person to get married. But regardless, I still plan to have kids. When I'm 34, I'll either adopt or get artifically inseminated.

Andrew: You said that to your mom?

Me: Well, not the last part. I actually said, "I'll either adopt ... or I won't." She knew what I meant.

Andrew: What did your mom say?

Me: She stood there in silence for half a minute, then said, "I think you should have your own kid instead of adopting." Which implied she's okay with the out-of-wedlock part.

Andrew: Raising a kid by yourself is hard.

Me: I know. But falling in love is so unlikely! It's like winning the lottery! Come to think of it, childbirth is so difficult that it also seems impossible. If I didn't know that billions of women had already done it, and you described childbirth to me, I would say that it's impossible! It's like pushing a watermelon through a straw!

Andrew: [shocked laughter] ... But you want to do it, huh? You want the watermelon?

Me: I want the watermelon.


Anonymous said...


It sounds very sorry that a charming and clever girl may not get married. I encourage you to spend some moments for your Mr. right. When my sister got married, I solely requested my brother-in-law to treat her good.

Find a man whom he wishes to be roots and he treats you and your family good. Use your intelligent to strike for fortune. You can do it.

Take care..

Anonymous said...

Yeah, why is it that falling in love is so unlikely? Lots of people do it. This does not seem beyond your abilities.

Is it beyond your desire? That is, are there factors that make it unlikely you will become involved in a committed relationship? I don't want to be insulting, but I've met lots of people who simply enjoy being single, or conversely are unwilling to make the kind of compromises needed for most long-term stable relationships. That is, "I'd like Mr. Perfect" which doesn't happen. Or being in a good relationship, but being unsatisfied with it.


Anonymous said...

Just to add to Dan's excellent observation, in my own case at least I had no real idea of what that kind of compromise really meant, or what the payoff for making such a commitment might be. I still don't really know, but now I want to find out, and by working towards this and not just giving up when things don't go as well as I might have expected when younger I am beginning to see the possibilities.

Step said...

If it were my place, I would beg you to reconsider having a child out of wedlock. I would urge you to think about the child, not your desire to raise one but what would be best for that new person that you are thinking about bringing into the world. I'd be willing to have a lengthy discussion about why I think it's best to have a mother and a father, and to discuss whatever your reaction would be to that. If it were my place. ;)

I'd also say that you're right, love seems impossible, but it too has happened millions of times. If you think you can raise a kid, you ought to be up for the hard work of staying in love once you find "mr. right". Good luck and Godspeed!

Niniane said...

By the way, this post was written a year ago. Since I linked to it yesterday, I edited it for grammar and clarity, which caused many RSS readers to bump it to the top.

I am now more optimistic about love than I was a year ago. It should be possible! :)

Anonymous said...

Widen the selection pool by getting over the ab fetish.

There are lots of good guys who don't have visible abs.

Step said...

Ha! Bitten again by not checking dates, just blindly trusting my Google Reader newsfeed. ;)

By the way, when I first saw the summary pop up on my personalized Google page, and read the title and first snippet, I thought you were going to say you were pregnant!

Glad you've gained some optimism about love. :D

Jon Howard said...

Perhaps the baby could keep the pet pig company, thus solving two life goals at once!

Pig no longer oinking from room to room in loneliness... baby nurtured/fed/taught by well-trained pig... everyone wins!