A decade ago, during a summer internship at Microsoft, I went to the intern picnic at Bill Gates's house. During a moment in his living room, I scanned his bookshelf. The right side of the bottom shelf was devoted to health and exercise. One title which caught my eye was called "Fit or Fat".
I found this title amusing, as I pictured a proper Jeeves-like man coming up and asking, "What would you like, sir? Fit or fat?" and then the reader carefully deliberating the pros and cons.
I gained ten pounds over the past two months. This is very foolish to write on the blog, because men who might want to date me will read it and decide to go ask out a skinnier woman instead. But the truth shall set you free!
I don't know the cause. I've tried to understand my body before -- why I sometimes need 10 hours of sleep and other times 5, why I fluctuate so much in weight. The analysis culminated in a three-month experiment this summer when I tracked a dozen variables daily in an Excel spreadsheet (Google spreadsheets hadn't launched yet). At the end, I excitedly graphed all the variables against each other, and ... nothing. It looked like a scatterplot.
The timing of my weight gain coincides with me starting to work out with my personal trainer Megan, though I'm sure it's not related. I must be Megan's worst example. She's often telling me about her other clients: the one who lost four dress sizes and bought her a facial as a present, the one who recently lost twelve pounds, the one who was able to go off diabetic medication.
On Tuesday, I was warming up on the treadmill, jogging with Megan standing by my side.
Me: "By the way, I weighed myself for the first time in a month. I'm now fat."
Megan: "Stop being ridiculous."
Me: "The scale doesn't lie, Megan."
Megan: "We don't know that it's fat. It could be muscle."
Me: "I did NOT gain that much muscle. Anyway, I've been following all the stuff you told me. I started eating breakfast. I run on the weekends, and I'm getting enough sleep at night. And what do I have to show for it? Fat."
Megan: "Give it another month."
Me: "Fine. One more month, because it's nice having more energy during the day."
Megan: "Good, we can see where you are then."
Me: "I'm telling you though, in a month, if I'm even fatter, I'm going back to my old habits. Because apparently, eating ice cream and never exercising works better for me."