Tuesday, November 28, 2006

best thing I read this month

If you read nothing else this month, read this story about a guy and his tapeworm. You will never think about tapeworms the same way again ... or beef tartare ... or going to the bathroom.

Here's a little hook to MAKE SURE you scramble over to read it:

I visualized the tapeworm securely hooked at the bottom of my throat using the spiny little stabbing things they had, its mouth ajar, and every time I ate, it ate; I drank, it swallowed; when I got caught in the rain, it stayed dry.

...
About an hour later, I felt something move, squirm, within me. I sat very still, as though listening to echoes in a canyon. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. There it was again!


It only gets better from there.

If you love it -- and I know you will, gentle reader -- leave a comment below about your favorite part.

8 comments:

ben said...

niniane, that was absolutely disgusting. disgustingly awesome that is :)

"I have it on good authority that, with the small and large intestines combined, it could reach the moon, loop it twice, then come all the way back down to earth and you'd still have enough left over to play skip rope with."

Steve said...

Regarding tapeworms and novels, I hesitate to recommend it, but Filth by Irvine Welsh is a very dark book where the protagonist is haunted by his tapeworm... A good, but disturbing read...

Jordan Brock said...

I second what Steve said. Filth is a fantastic book. Disturbing and guaranteed to make you shiver with disgust. Great.

Anonymous said...

It reminded me of a similar experience when I read this passage .... But for the first time in my life, when I wiped, not everything wiped away. Something remained. *** Dangling *** . The word dangling reminded me of pulling that similar junk out of my ass when I was 9/10 years old.

Mike (perl.hacker .= gmail.com) said...

Unbelievable, although 'scolex' would make a great middle name for a child, e.g. Urethra Scolex Franklin, Esq.

Sigourney Weaver had the right idea. After confirmation of the diagnosis, toddle off to your local metal smelter and request a discreet opportunity for self-immolation in one of their stadium-sized crucibles. I hear ya, Ripley...

-M

Anonymous said...

Along with diet and exercise, perhaps a tapeworm could be part of your weightloss program. I mean doctors use leeches to suction wounds, why not use tapeworms to help with weight loss?

Phillip Midwinter said...

I'm not sure I want to work at Google anymore. For the first time in my life I feel like my sense of humour might not be sick enough.

Ed said...

I like this part about the pill...
I headed directly to the pharmacist, purchased the pill, took it home, created an altar, placed it there and worshipped it for forty-five minutes as the answer to all my dreams and prayers. "Oh mighty pill, death to the demon residing within..."