Late at night, we needed to perform a small site maintenance. US users are sleeping, but it's the middle of the day in Australia.
X: "People from Australia are on the site, and we need to do things to it!"
To our Australian engineer: "Can you tell them to stop using the site for a few minutes?"
Australian engineer: "Okay!"
X: "Email all@australia."
On skype chatroom at midnight:
On-call engineer: "Okay is everyone ready to deploy? 9+5=13" [Our deploy script requires the engineer to do a simple math problem.]
On-call engineer: "I mean, 8+5=13. It's scary I got that wrong at first."
Me: "Have you stopped drinking at all between beer o'clock [Minted Friday happy-hour tradition] and now?"
On-call engineer: "Don't ask me questions you don't want to know the answer to."
On skype chatroom:
On-call engineeer: "Oh web4, where art thou web4,
Deny thy code and refuse thy branch,
Or if thou wild not, be but sworn my Thursday
release XXXX branch"
Me: "You can't rhyme branch with branch!"