Three weeks ago, my friend Melody broke up with the guy she was dating, "Fernando". She told him that she doesn't want a relationship right now. "You're such a wonderful guy and you deserve a woman devoted to you," she said. "I can't give you what you want, because I value my freedom too much right now. So I'm going to let you go find what you really need."
This sounds almost believable (especially to the lovelorn Fernando).
Except that Melody then entered into a relationship the following week with a different guy. Now she's all lovey-dovey with New Guy.
Of course, when I ask why she didn't want to keep dating Fernando, it's a different story. (details altered for privacy) He was too picky, and often criticizing the way she did things.
Why didn't she give this information to him, I ask? Then he can either:
a). treat his next girlfriend differently, or
b). make sure his next girlfriend is fine with his demanding nature
I propose that we all be honest with the people we dump. Instead of the baloney of "we drifted apart" or "we don't have enough in common", let's say what the real reason is. "You got too boring" or "You get angry too easily" or "You got too fat" or whatever.
Part of the problem is that some reasons are taboo. If a guy says, "I'm dumping you because you got too fat," he's considered a jerk. But if he didn't want to date her in the first place due to fatness, that'a acceptable.
I think both should be acceptable.