My cell phone actually has a GPS remote locator. I guess, in theory, if you were to lose your phone, you could activate the GPS remote locator with your computer and find out where your phone is. Again, this is an absolutely wonderful idea. In theory.
Her: Where were you last night?
Me: Last night? Oh, uh, I was at the library doing some research of course.
Her: Uh-huh. Your cell phone GPS locator however puts you at the strip club downtown.
Me: What? WTF?! Well, I guess I lost my phone or something, because I wasn’t there…
Her: Your cell phone is right there in your pocket.
Me: Oh yeah, some guy returned it to me like 5 minutes ago.
Me: Ok, fine, I was at the strip club. But I got dragged by the guys, and I didn’t enjoy it at all!
Her: Oh really? Your phone’s vital stats monitor says you had 14 different erections.
Me: ….What the fuck kind of phone is this?! Goddamnit I hate technology.
I’m starting to find that with each passing day, I grow closer to running away from it all and adopting an Amish lifestyle. Hey, if there are any Amish people reading this, why don’t you drop me an email or add me on Facebook so we can chat about this?