Riding in a cab with my aunt and uncle. Before retirement, my uncle was a ship captain in the Taiwan Navy.
Aunt: "Your uncle's voice is so loud! He says it's not that he's loud, but rather that I'm too quiet. He says I sound like an ant."
Uncle: [very loudly from front seat] "Not like an ant! Ants are mute! I said like a mosquito!"
Aunt: "He said when he spoke at the head of the boat, it had to be audible even at the boat stern."
Uncle: "I never said that! But there is a lot of wind on the boat! If you speak quietly, it's useless!"
Me: [laughing in backseat]
Cab driver: "I get a lot of passengers from China. The ones from Zhejiang province are really loud."
Uncle: "Not as loud as me!"