Sunday, December 31, 2006

China's recent jug obsession

Last week, my brother flipped on the TV in our Beijing hotel room. The TV turned on to a Chinese talk show, with a short-haired woman and three men in armchairs.

The woman was in the middle of a speech, " ... women with watermelon shapes tend to be standoffish. They find it harder to make friends, because they're perceived as cold. Women with pear shapes are much warmer toward others, and have an easier time getting boyfriends --"

It's a little silly to generalize personality just from body shape, I thought. Though it's not a big surprise that watermelon-shaped women have a harder time getting asked out.

The woman continued, "There are also traits associated with orange-shaped breasts, pomelo-shaped breasts...."

She was talking about breast shapes, not body shapes! And what the hell is the difference between orange shape and pomelo shape?

The talk show went on for another twenty minutes, and the sole theme was: breasts.

The next day, I went to see "Curse of the Golden Flower", the currently playing hot movie in theatres:



The emperor's concubines and maids wore corsets that pushed their bosoms up, causing them to jiggle as the ladies walked. There were a few scenes of the maids doing collective dancing or running. The camera panned over a sea of jiggling jugs.

Yesterday I flipped through a chinese tabloids. Half the advertisements are for breast augmentation surgery. One said, "Improve your career! Get the wealth and lifestyle you want, ten years earlier! We've helped hundreds of women, now let us help you!"

Why this sudden obsession with jugs?

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

i wish i could meet someone like you.....

Anonymous said...

Curious...

Which vegetable or fruit do you think you resemble most?

Anonymous said...

Hummmm!!!

They look a bit large to be the perfect Champagne glass shape.

Being Anerican raised has blessed her with a more femanine figure.

But thankfully far from the previously mentioned watermelons.

Adam Lasnik said...

Ah, Niniane... 'twas one of your more titillating entries ;-)

Anonymous said...

I would say pears are B-C naturals, watermelons are D+ naturals, oranges are B-C w/augmentation, and polmelos are D+ w/augmentation.

teratimbiidae said...

What about the alignment tongue of breasts? Watermelons would obviously be true Neutral or Neutral Evil, pears would tend towards Chaotic Good or Chaotic Evil depending on the prominence of the nipples, leaving oranges and mangosteens to carry Lawful Good and Lawful Evil (augmented lawyer = Lawful Evil, augmented dairy maid = Lawful Good). The presence of a Y chromosome naturally imparts the ability to speak the alignment language of all breasts, regardless of their country of origin. Of course, that leaves us with the problem of durians...

Anonymous said...

"The camera panned over a sea of jiggling jugs."

Like chrysanthemum petals swaying in the wind of history.

metal said...

I've always been interested in asian women, but its never been because they have superior hardware. In fact, I think their hardware usually sucks. I've only ever met one chinese girl who could be considered big, and all the rest were pretty small.

On the whole, asians are generally smaller anyways, so I dont think we'll be catching up really.

ArC said...

Which vegetable or fruit do you think you resemble most?

Eggplant?

Anonymous said...

I am not sure how historically accurate is the women's costume in the movie. Was Tang Dynasty still a bit conservative/Confucian? As a guy I don't have much complaints about the jugs, but a new title, like "Breast and the King", may be more appropriate. :-) And Gong Li looks really angry in the movie.

Larry Chiang said...

BreastChristmasEver.com is gonna hit it big in China too in 2008

Anonymous said...

What type is ur breast's shape?