Monday, September 10, 2007

geek game

Last night, after an electronic music concert (starring a coworker), a few friends and I ate burritos at Pancho Villa in SF.

Omar ranted about how much it repulses him to see bare feet near food. Let's say you're having a picnic on the beach. You sit in a circle, with sandwiches lying on a blanket in the sand between your feet. This would drive Omar to madness.

LG: "What if the feet are clean?"

Omar: "That doesn't matter."

LG: "What if you're not planning to eat the food?"

Omar: "That doesn't matter either."

LG: "Do you drink wine?" [since wine = grapes stomped by bare feet]

I had to laugh at this, because Omar drinks more wine than anyone else I know.



(Omar, holding one of the many wine-related gifts we got him during the Desktop days.)

Omar confirmed to LG that he does drink wine. But because he doesn't see the actual feet in question, stomping the grapes, he is not bothered.

LG: "Does your disgust depend on distance between the feet and the food?"

Omar: "Yes, it's proportional to the distance."

LG: "So what if I have food on the table, and then I cross my legs below the table, with one foot right below the part of the table holding the food?"

Omar: [laughing] "That's okay. The table acts as a visual barrier."

LG: "What if it's a glass table?"

...

At this point, I collapsed in mirth. Because pointless Q & A is awesome. One of the most enjoyable activities I can imagine is to make up a hypothetical scenario and then endlessly analyze every aspect of it.

On Desktop, we used to joke about eating our intern Mark: what type of sauce we'd cook him with (bolognese vs. cream), whether we'd boil vs. stew vs. bake, the side dishes we'd eat him with. I loved these conversations.

I think someone should create a Geek Board Game. It will come in a box which contains only an hourglass and a packet of cards. The players will divide into three teams. On each turn, the teams draw a card. Each card will contain a question, such as:

"You are going to cook and eat your intern. What cooking style should you use?"

"If your team were stranded on a desert island and had to resort to cannibalism, what algorithm would you use to decide the order in which to eat people?"

"You are invited to two parties at the same time: one with neutral people, and one with 80% annoying people and 20% awesome people. Which should you attend to maximize enjoyment?

Two of the teams compete to come up with the most logical / interesting answer, and the third team acts as judge to cast ballots. The teams take turns judging.

I would buy this game!!

8 comments:

John K. Lin said...

I find it difficult to believe that in modern times, grapes are crushed by stomping on them manually by feet. The volume of grapes grown for wine production is just insane and can't be all that efficient to be done manually by people...let alone to be sanitary...

Strider Aragorn said...

So, how would scoring be conducted? Would the game continue forever until one player admitted defeat? Could the game be ultimately trumped by player 2 asking player one nothing but "Why?" Would such a string of "Why"'s ultimately make a 5 year old the best player in the game? Does the game continue until the playing cards run out? What if atmospheric conditions got so bad that every card in the game spontaneously combusted all at the same time? Would you need to create new cards or does it default to the current leader of points? Someone else can create this game... too many questions for me...

Anonymous said...

"One of the most enjoyable activities I can imagine is to make up a hypothetical scenario and then endlessly analyze every aspect of it"

BTW - this is one trait that will send most men running for the door.

Anonymous said...

Well you do notice that most men surrounding Niniane as well as the ones in this conversation have extremely effeminate traits.

More women than men are bilingual for the sole purpose of being able to complain in multiple languages.

ArC said...

John -- there was a print ad for some winery that irritated the hell out of me. It shows a dude, barefoot, pants rolled up to his knees, and grape juice stains most of the way up his calves. The tag line was that they were a really traditional winery... and then, in the fine print on the bottom, they explained they didn't really stomp the grapes.

Anonymous said...

Everybody watch the Grape Lady break a few ribs!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=90m2Xw_Haj0

omar said...

extremely effeminate? really me!?!

no.

but, i was thinking more about LG's comments and realized that if the food is approaching still feet, then it's less disturbing to me. encroaching feet -- back!

and i'd buy the game too.

Philipp Lenssen said...

"You are going to cook and eat your intern. What cooking style should you use?"

Put in sauna, max heat, close doors, cook for 2 days.


"If your team were stranded on a desert island and had to resort to cannibalism, what algorithm would you use to decide the order in which to eat people?"

The most strong & least moral people will eat those still figuring out the "algorithm."


"You are invited to two parties at the same time: one with neutral people, and one with 80% annoying people and 20% awesome people. Which should you attend to maximize enjoyment?

If the 20% are so awesome why don't they leave that 80% annoying party in the first place?

Nice game!