Thursday, February 19, 2009

don't read this if you are offended by blasphemy

If you are the type of person who, upon hearing the Lord's name taken in vain, covers their mouth and says "Oh my!", you need to stop reading now.

My friend "Matthew" and I were in a museum, looking at himalayan art. One statue featured Shiva and his goddess.



Me: "I know a couple of Indian guys named Shiva. Do you think it's strange to share the same name as the highest deity, who rules all of creation? You don't see that in the States."

Matthew: "I know some Shiva's too. As well as Ganesh, Pavarti."

Me: "It's not a bad idea. All right, I'm going to name my kid 'God'."

Matthew: [chortling]

Me: "That's right. My kid will be called 'God Wang'."

...

Later I told the plan to another friend "Andy".

Me: "But I plan to have two kids, so I don't know what to name the second kid."

Andy: "That's true. You can't name one kid 'God', and the second kid 'Frank'."

Me: "Yeah, Frank would feel so unloved by comparison, and angry."

Andy: "Oh, I'm pretty sure the 'God' kid will be the angrier one."

17 comments:

Varun Mahajan said...

What a profound thought. You are absolutely write.

Disclosure: I am a Hindu by culture..athiest by religion.

ArC said...

There's a pro basketball player who changed his name to God Shammgod when he was in college or high school... Wait, no, Wikipedia says that is his given name. Huh!

Rafael said...

Name the second kid Jesus. It's quite common in the Latino culture. Then, you're 2/3's of the way to the Trinity.

Jeremy said...

Bad joke ahoy:
If you want your kid to be popular with the ladies, name him Huge.

Prolific Programmer said...

Name the second child "satan" or "lucifer" and see who turns out more evil?

Anonymous said...

Naming some one "Shiva" or "Ganesh" is not same as naming someone "God". The name of hindu gods have certain meanings/characteristics associated with them. e.g Shiva means "Auspicious one", and ganesh is considered as the one who removes all the obstacles.
So people name their children after these gods, well... because these names depict good traits/qualities.

Does "Niniane" have a meaning, or do you have another Chinese name that means something?

-sushant

rajib said...

'Jesus' and 'Christ' ?

Joanna said...

This isn't very original, but if you had a second kid by accident you could name him Jesus (immaculately concepted); the third kid, could be named "Holy Spirit."

Niniane said...

Prolific Programmer, so far I like your suggestion the most.

Niniane said...

Anonymous, the name "Niniane" means "alive". My chinese name "Xin" means "happy".

Arael said...

Just make sure the 2nd one is a girl so that you can name her "Goddess".

sanjuro said...

Name the second kid "Lol", so they know you're just joking.

ArC said...

My mom occasionally cracks that my Chinese name (something about being "persistently hardworking") turned out to be completely false.

Anonymous said...

Its a good idea to name your kid 'God'. He will be your 'my' god.

hmf said...

I also really liked your idea of naming a child after a city :) http://niniane.blogspot.com/2007/05/edinburgh-in-edinburgh.html

s said...

With a last name like Wang, you should name your kids with possessive noun forms, like "God's" or "Your mom's"

Anonymous said...

Not related, but: Kingsford the piglet!

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/thedishrag/2009/01/kingsford-goes.html