Tom: "Are you registered on yelp?"
Tom: "Are you elite?"
Me: "No, that would take too much time."
Tom: "But you satisfy two of the three criteria embodied by all yelp elite."
Me: "What, female and ...?"
Tom: "Female, Asian, and angsty. Seriously, go to any yelp restaurant page and read the elite review. You'll see that I'm right. Or in rare cases, the reviewer is a guy, but if you click on his photo and scroll to the right, he'll be standing next to an Asian woman who probably writes all of his reviews for him."