Riddle me this, gentle readers...
Why do so many Caucasian men have Asian fetishes?
Once, Sha-mayn and I compared notes while on the treadmills together. I said "I think X has an Asian fetish." She said, "Yes, he hit on me too. And Linda*. And Ning*." (* names changed) Within five minutes, we identified a number of Googlers who fell into this category.
Then, for kicks, we ranked them, with the highest level being "attractive, but out of the question because he has a goddamn Asian fetish".
My issue with these yellow-fever guys is that they never seem satiated. Many a time, a Caucasian guy will be standing with a beautiful Asian date, yet he'll be ogling my friends or me from across the room. He already got a gorgeous Asian woman, so why isn't he satisfied?
Enlighten me, dear readers, on what the draw is behind the Asian fetish. Is it because Asian women are supposed to be exotic? Submissive? Career-minded? Petite?
What's the deal?
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I used to think it was mainly the exotic aspect.
In the gay scene (or at least: the gay scene here in Sydney), the supposed submissive aspect seems to be important as well (although, no rice queen will ever admit that).
We also have a popular stereotype of younger asian guy (usually early 20s, if not younger) with older white guy (usually late 50s, if not older). It's such a big market that one of the local clubs is known colloquially as "walking sticks and chopsticks"
I don't know if it's the same for your friends, but the asian guys here who like asian guys get very, very upset with the asian guys who only go for white guys - complaining that they're reinforcing stereotypes, diminishing the available pool of asian guys, etc...
probably it's toilless to have it, nothing the matter, barely asian women can think about it like u~
Can anyone parse what Yan is trying to say?
Yan, why don't you post in chinese (or whatever your native language is). I or someone else can translate it.
"My issue with these yellow-fever guys is that they never seem satiated... He already got a gorgeous Asian woman, so why isn't he satisfied?"
I'm not sure about the particular fetish, but isn't this just a guy thing? I'm not sure if by your definition (ogling another woman when he's with one already) ANY guy could be said to be satisfied! :)
Probably comes from watching too much anime :) I have a slight Asian fetish, which is probably partly from anime, and partly because I just have a fascination with all things Asian.
You know what is really hot though? Asian with a British accent! Exhibit A
This question reminds me of all the flame wars on usenet news newsgroup in soc.culture.asian.american on the imbalance of asian women/caucasian male dating to asian men/caucasin women (which reminds me of your post Why I don't Date Asian Men ) and running parallel with yellow fever dating discussions when I was in college in the early 90s.
My fellow blogger on www.8asians.com in his posting, I know you want it Asian Princess points to this article:
The White Boy speaks on dating Asian Women
Parts of the U.S. where there are lots of Asian/Asian-Americans, you will naturally find more caucasian men interested in Asian women, than let's say, the mid-West, where dating an Asian woman would seem a lot stranger, different, rare and odd.
This Village Voice article,
Yellow Fever - They got it bad, and that ain't good. covers the subject of yellow fever pretty good.
And then there is always Wikipedia:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asian_fetish
I feel like you are possibly mislabeling a collection of other preferences under the single heading "asian fetish".
It is necessary that an asian fetishist serially hit on asians but insufficient because so too might a more generic womanizer. To give them such a label, wouldn't you need to demonstrate clearly that they have a preference of asian women over all other women? This is suggested but not necessarily implied by their hitting on a large group of asian women.
Who is to say that these guys don't simply hit on every woman they see? That they happen to have hit on a large fraction of your female asian friends could be indicative only of the fact that you have many female asian friends, not that he has an asian fetish.
Moreover, as touched on by joshnunn, that these guys should be constantly looking for something else is not something limited to asian fetishists but could feasibly apply to nearly anyone, or at least a great many non-asian-fetishizing males.
joshnunn has hit it on the head...those guys you describe are behaving like ANY guy looking at some other woman that interests them. They just happen to be interested in Asians. So, I guess that means you must will not date any men at all and become old spinsters.
i think niniane was just trying to be polite by saying "My issue with these yellow-fever guys is that they never seem satiated... He already got a gorgeous Asian woman, so why isn't he satisfied?" is her only issue with asian fetishists.
i'm sure there are lots of other issues she isn't fessing up to in public..
I feel an atraction for asian women because they look very delicate and feminine.
Delicate, like a little flower.
Delicate little flower
;-)
no offense, niniane, if any marriage happens to you, the other part must be Asian, I bet 100 bucks here, you have my words at 6:48am(pacific time), 7 Aug, 2007.
As the son of one such combination, I have been thinking about this matter pretty much my whole life. That said, my friend Qiao* told me that dating an Asian woman in the Bay Area is like dating an Italian woman in NYC -- it just happens to be who's here. A man who avoids Asian women here would be more remarkable.
Not every white guy who dates an Asian is an Asiaphile. In the Bay Area, and especially in a technical or professional field, you'd have to be an Asiaphobe to not date Asians at least sometimes. After all, many Asians happen to be awesome, sexy, sweet, and funny people.
So why is having an Asian fetish worse than having a "female fetish" (i.e. being heterosexual)?
I think it's just that there is a large set of obnoxious guys with yellow fever who tend to objectify their partners and who are chasing some cultural stereotype and aren't as interested in the actual person they're dating. I think the villagevoice article put it eloquently:
"When someone homogenizes an entire race of people—even if that homogenization tends toward desirable—that someone is creating a wall between himself and the person in question. No one likes to be treated as an outsider, especially in the only country she's ever known as home."
But I'm not really buying the "roots in colonialism" thing. The Wikipedia article isn't very good, but the references seem like interesting reading. Niniane, asking your readership may not be the best way to the answer -- this is the subject of multiple Ph.D. theses, and countless articles in everything from gossip magazines to scholarly journals, and it seems to be a complicated phenomenon.
re: dazhi. No, that's my only problem with yellow-fever guys. I don't want to be the poor gf whose guy is ignoring her to salivate on other Asian women.
Otherwise, it'd be fine if he likes some quality and I happen to have that quality. :)
It goes both ways -- why do so many Asian women have white fetishes?
aubergine,
so are you saying it'd be ok if your bf was ogling other white, brown, or indian women? just as long as it's not your own pigmentation?
Dazhi, I'm saying it's not okay for him to ignore me while ogling other women of any race. If he ogles other women (to a limited degree) but does not ignore me, that is okay.
then are you saying that asian fever guys tend to ogle other women (regardless of colour) more than non-asian fever guys?
I'm with dahzi on this. I'm not sure what niniane's last comments have to do with a so-called asian fetish?
I'm a white guy who has dated a lot of white and asian women. My longer (3+ year) relationships have been with asian women (born or raised early here) so some of my friends bug me about having an asian fetish (and it bugs the shit out of me). You can't live in the bay area and rule out dating asian women unless you really want to limit yourself.
As I get older, I think I'm dating a higher percentage of asian women (and a lot of these are women who approach me). Fortunately, a lot of asian women age better so I can even date closer to my age and feel like I'm getting a newer model :-)
Why are people so caught up in looking at race anyway? It's enough of a task to find someone that you're compatible with for the long term.
From an evolutionary-psychology standpoint, it makes biological sense in a mixed-race environment for certain combinations to dominate; Asian females and Black males statistically stand at the extremes of feminine/masculine divide. Whites are in the middle - but that means a white guy who is 'just average' to Caucasian females will look above-average to an Asian female. Humans are adaptive - if you're a guy who strikes out repeatedly with women your own race, it's natural to gravitate toward the easy kills and trawl places where you have a comparative advantage.
Asian women are, as a population, more sheltered and thus more easily-impressed than equivalently-attractive white/black /latina female counterparts.
My $0.02.
Flameshield on.
John: I think that Village Voice article was originally written for the OC Weekly, which published a followup piece a couple of weeks later.
Don't forget, if your observations are from Google alone and Googlers, that Google has a disproportional share of Asian women relative to the general Bay Area and the U.S. overall. As my friend put it - it's not a random nor representative sample of woman at Google. If all the Google women were white & blong, we'd be talking about white fever (does that term even exist).
As for the comment regarding: "So why is having an Asian fetish worse than having a "female fetish" (i.e. being heterosexual)?" Female fetish? I think there is an evolutionary reason why men disproportionately prefer women over men - the need for reproduction. (please do not flame me)
kai - that's BS and a pretty poor stereotype that you subscribed to.
I think what Niniane may be saying is that men who are attracted to Asian women exclusively tend to care less about the specific Asian woman they are with than the average guy with a woman. I guess it would make sense that people who choose potential mates mainly by their superficial qualities (e.g. being Asian, having good abs ;) ) will be less interested in the person him- or herself and view people with that attribute as more or less interchangeable.
" Anonymous said...
I'm with dahzi on this."
Why do people have trouble spelling my name when it's spelled out repeatedly in front of them? It's not like they heard my name in conversation and are trying to write it down phonetically... =)
"I think what Niniane may be saying is that men who are attracted to Asian women exclusively tend to care less about the specific Asian woman they are with than the average guy with a woman. I guess it would make sense that people who choose potential mates mainly by their superficial qualities (e.g. being Asian, having good abs ;) ) will be less interested in the person him- or herself and view people with that attribute as more or less interchangeable."
Ah ok, that i would agree with. Asian (or any other fetish) = bad. That is why I joined a facebook group called "I don't date guys with Asian fetishes"!
White guys with asian fetishes are social failures.
I can tell within 5 seconds if a guy is dating an Asian woman because he genuinely likes her, or if he's just a loser whiteboy who has failed to get a white woman.
He's typically dating the standard California-born Asian Chick -- boring, no personality, doesn't do sports, doesn't do anything really. Doesn't have an opinion on anything. All conversation ends in "ohhhhhh . .he he he. .yeaaaahhhhh. . . he he he."
On further though, Niniane, have you considered the upsides of dating a guy with 'yellow fever'? I mean, in a regular relationship, you'd have to work at it; with this sort you'd just have to be Asian, which should basically be like breathing.
The heart has its own reasons which reason can never understand.
In other words, leave love alone.
I don't know about fetishes but, have you considered also the fact that there are guys out there which just happen to like asian women just because? Like, for instance, you'll find guys that just like latinas, does that make them bad guys?
What about guys that die for British ladies and their amazing accent?
Maybe you're just too judgmental about it...
Because they are 'exotic' to men if they grew up with people of mostly their own race/religion/etc.
A few of my female friends from Mexico have mentioned that they get hit on big time when they come here for business trips - more so than in their own country.
As for men, they are always going to take in any social situation and scan for females with compiler-like precision. (Yeah I'm a geek).
Men do this because: All Men Are Pigs. It's a scientific fact.
I'm white and have had a few asian girlfriends, but don't really think I have an asian fetish. Actually my last asian gf just recently broke up with me and I'm still completely heart-broken, but it had nothing to do with me checking out other women. She was so stunning that I never even thought about checking other women out and thought for sure we'd be getting married. Honestly I'd prefer to date someone with a cultural background closer to my own, but you don't always choose who you fall in love with. Having said that, I hope my next girlfriend isn't asian. :-(
Isn't it funny how the not attractive asian females are worried about white guys with yellow fever? Especially the ones that don't like to date asian men because of all the negative stereotypes they see there. Women in the Bay Area have it pretty good, be glad you get the attention you do since even ugly chicks score.
Not topic related but so funny -if you can get Chinese joke
http://www.56.com/u17/v_MTY0MjAxOTA.html
then this viedo
http://www.56.com/u80/v_MTYzOTk0ODU.html
Could the reverse question be asked? Why don't asian woman date asian men more often?
As for the attraction to asian woman in an enginering environment, I think it boils down to this. If you take all of the woman in a technical company doing with technical roles (engineers, project managers, etc), and take the ones who are attractive by the simple metric of:
- have some sense of fashion (care about cute outfits etc.)
- good personal hygiene
- are in shape (take time to exercise)
You'll end up with more asians than any other race.
Part of this might be that asian woman are more likely to go into engineering than white woman, so non-asian woman are in short supply. In general, as an engineer, your work environment is deprived of females.
It's always dangerous to generalize like this, but as a guy who went through two engineering degrees and now works as an engineer, it's simply truth in my case.
p.s. i happen to be married to a white woman whom I met outside of engineering school, but had I stuck to my immediate surroundings, I think my choices would have been limited to mostly asian woman if I stuck to females whom I found at least moderately attractive
p.p.s i know engineering guys aren't exactly fabios either :)
Asian women are good for one night stands. Always wear a condom, and *never* get in long term. They have issues man.
If a guy likes blondes he will stare at blondes even if he has a perfect 10 blonde girl on his arm.. Asian girls are not so special in that way...
Stop flattering yourself.
I love brunetts
Asians fall under this catagory.
I love Brown eyes too.
:-)
Why? I have no idea...
It must be a genetic factor to sometimes seek out more "exotic" mates in the species. Many animals do this. I've seen footages on Discovery showing female monkeys consummate with male monkey outside of her normal group instead of the Alpha males she is more familiar. And of course social factors peculiar to humans in US and other places I perceive below.
Socially, many males and females seek out mates of different race who may find them more attractive. This is evident in the condition that many white males have Asian fetishes and also many Asian females have white fetishes. This equation works out pretty well in society where men are still expected to be more successful and women to be well … more nurturing. Many Asian women who have white fetishes prefer to nurture white males over Asian males (I have a feeling this group considers Black and Hispanics males even less) believing white males are not only exotic but tend to be more successful. Some white males feed off of this and enjoy the compliment.
It is not to say Asian guys don't have fetishes towards white women. Or black women don't have fetishes towards white men. They simply tend to be less successful feeding off the positive feedbacks from the Western Caucasians. I prefer a more egalitarian society where we simply have fetishes for people who are truly into you and attractive not because of racial perception but simply that special amicable smile and one’s own sense of aesthetics and psychology. Then, you’ll see a lot more sexy and smart Asians (boy I can’t even think of one famous, sexy Asian male in the US). Of course if you go to Asia at least you can have 金城武 to drool over. That gets a little annoying too. It’s still a good thing for genetic programming to allow wider probability to seek out someone different instead of your lovely cousin.
I like California girls.
But I also like slimmer girls.
Being from Southern Illinois. Slim girls are few and far between.
OMG the people there are BIG even when young.
Everytime I go home I am sickened by the obesity.
The time I went to Disneyworld in Florida I realized that most Americans do not take care of themselves
There are too many Asians in this world.
It is my duty to dilute the race with my seed.
It's all been said by the entries above, I think. What you are is a part of who you are, and the distinctions for a particular case are not necessarily generalizable (to the extent that they can even be determined). I tend to prefer women with certain characteristics but none of these are ethnically specific, and all are subject to change depending on the degree of attraction (the stronger the attraction, the less I tend to worry about things like form-factor, compulsive habits, inexplicable weirdness, etc).
Adam, your video of the Asian girl w/ British accent is super cute. Many people concur.
re: "blonde fever". Perhaps you are right that all men ogle other women besides their gf, and I just happen to notice the guys who like Asians. Or maybe those guys are worse at hiding it. In any case, good to know. Maybe I will cut the yellow-fever guys some slack. :)
dryHello niniane, is it because I put name 'yan' there so I am supposed to be a Chink? And have bad English? And have to be asked to not use English to talk to you. That's really rude and ridiculous, did your parent have to parse what they say when talk tou you?
Josh got good point, why don't asian woman date asian men more often? Is it because language or money or race?
So many comments, too little time, here's my $0.02:
Ten years ago when I (American-born European) went to marry an Indian-born Indian, I had plenty of guys volunteer the info that "I'm into Asian chicks too". It more or less offended me since getting married based on a sexual preference seems kinda stupid.
But then I found want my sexual dysfunction really is: I have a fetish for intelligent women who want to have sex with me. I'm still searching for the porn site dedicated to this fetish.
Some of my friends who are married to Asian women claim that caucasian women can be quite demanding (I did not ask them what they meant by it :-))
But overall I think your observation is skewed because of the demographic you interact with mostly. As quite a few people have pointed out it is quite difficult to be in a company without asian women for googlers or other tech guys in the Bay Area unless they venture out in the city and interact with non CS folks and pursue some other interests.
I also think that lot of geek guys are much more comfortable with Asian women who are probably in the same field as them and usually share similar interests and education background.
My Thai girlfriend received her masters in IT from the University of Surry in the U.K.
After 5 years of studying there,
I LOVEEEE her accent sooo much,
Especially when she says:
"I want to be naughty with you"
Soooooo cuteeeeeeee...
I never get tired of hearing that.
Yellow fever, explained!
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5847984513475560733
Just like what Russell Peters said, everyone is going to be a shade of beige one day.
Chinese and Indians are the two large races in the world.
Sooner or later, THEY'RE GONNA HUMP YOU.
Hello Niniane,
I think that it is normal that some guys have a "type of women", I mean that they really know what they like and only date women that accomplish with that requisite...
Maybe it is more frequent that caucasian guys like chinese women but I don't think that this has to do with the fact that some of them are "never satisfied". For me this has more to do with the fact that they are womanizers :) .. I bet there are a lot of caucasian guys with chinese fetishes that if they are with a beautiful chinese woman don't stop to stare at others by the street!.. as there are many men that even if they are with their "type of woman" being that "a blonde", "a brunette" , "a latin", etc. they will continue to stare at other beautiful women... because they are just like that... womanizers! :P
I am the rare bird...I'm Asian and I married a hot blonde caucasian. Too bad she cheated on me (more than once) so now we are divorced and I am happily remarried to an Asian.
My Asian wife jokes that I have a blonde fetish and I do look, but hey, I'm human. What am I gonna do, wear blinders? Looking is different from touching, which I would never do...well, not without permission. ;-)
Yellow Fever? How about 'East block European guy fever'?
I agree very much with every one above here that explain this as a Bay Area thing, and there is a large proportion of asian women in tech companies.
I saw Niniane with Peter. If she was living in the UK, especially around certain campuses, she might be described as a girl who has an East Block European fetish. (Well people would be calling it 'a thing for east block euro guys').
But that would not be because she is interested in those types of guys, its just a common thing with so many young (and many times good looking and approachable) guys studying in the UK from those countries, that you see a lot of those couples.
This reminds me of a scene from the muppets, where Kermit meets an attractive woman at a bar, and asks her 'do you believe in inter species love?'
K
Here is the reason: in Asian women, the v'gina is horizontal as opposed to vertical for other races. Many men find this intriguing.
Asian-American men don't get fat, and they don't get hairy. Plus they're often rich. I'm already seeing an upswing in the number of white female / asian male couples.
It's not a fetish though, maybe just gold digging. Then again, all women are gold diggers at least a little bit.
So. .white men like Asian women cuz they're easy, and white women like Asian men cuz they're rich.
It's pretty simple!
"Asian-American men don't get fat, and they don't get hairy. Plus they're often rich. I'm already seeing an upswing in the number of white female / asian male couples."
1 outta 3. Unfortunately, I'm getting fat and I'm not rich. True that I'm not hairy but lucky to have a full head of hair at 40.
Niniane,
Let's talk women and shoes. No matter how expensive and perfect a pair of shoes is that a woman is currently wearing, and no matter how many other pairs of shoes lie in the closet at home, it is my experience that if we walk past a shoe store--- she ogles the shoes! How terrible!!
Perhaps being human there is greater emotion, and tension, and psychological reward in the persuit of something that we think will bring us satisfaction and happiness, than in the attainment.
I going to out on a limb and say that when you are out with your boyfriend or date, the odds are pretty good that other boys are ogling YOU. I bet you notice it, and I bet you enjoy it. Perhaps even flirt back a touch if the ogler is really cute? Is this not part of what we can all enjoy as human beings? A fit woman of any race is art that both men and women can appreciate, no? Does one spouse love the other less because he steals a glance at the waitress, or the Mona Lisa? But yet, where does appreciation cross the line into awkwardness, or worse? Perhaps it is for each only to decide on her own,-- accept and appreciate what is tolerable, and communicate to your dear one what is not.
Niniane,
This woman from Google, Maile Ohye, looks tooooo much like you. Same haircut (more or less) even.
Link for my comment above:
http://googleblog.blogspot.com/2007/08/google-search-privacy-plain-and-simple.html
The woman in your link, Maile, only looks similar to me in that we are both Asian. You're having an alllooksame.com moment.
:)
They do look the same. Dark hair, dark eyes, and like most Asian women they both have a 12 year old little boys body.
I love little girls.
Am I gay
?
Hummmmmmm!!!!!
Niniane has found a nerve in this topic?
Is it a record in terms of responses?
This thread topic is also one of the most mentioned in Craig's List Rants & Raves.
Though most responders here kept it fairly clean.
FWIW, Niniane, from the video, Maile does have similar eyes and (sorta) haircut, and oval-ish shaped face as you. Different nose and lips, though; she doesn't have that "Beijing look", if you will -- and no offense is meant -- that you do.
(And I've scored reasonably well on that alllooksame test.)
I just find it quite funny that Niniane don't date Asian men
http://niniane.blogspot.com/2006/07/why-i-dont-date-asian-men.html
But also wonders why many white guys have "yellow fever"!
Don't you feel awkward turning up for work after writing these on your blogg?
huh, I went to alllooksame and I could tell apart the women but not the men. I wonder what that means (I'm female, non-Asian, non-white)
I forgot about this incident, but here is a very disturbing extreme report of Asian female fetish:
Princeton Incident Shows Extreme Case of Asian Fetish
I think the why depends on the severity of the fetish.
Low Grade fetish: this person is attracted to asians, he doesn't know why; he just knows he needs it. If you put this person in a rural village in china with the accompanying hardships the villagers would have to face, his fetish would disappear.
Medium Grade Fetish: This person needs more than just to be around asians. he doesnt really respect the culture in his heart, he is attracted to several qualities in an upper socio-economic classed asian, the educational, financial and family stability, the lack of open confrontation (ego problems from the fetishist), etc... this person is compensating for inadequacies in not just his life but his ability to achive them the correct way. this grade is akin to the person being attracted to the handsome doctor stereotype. It is ok to surround the acceptance into a different culture and heritage with some structure such as going to regular synagogue meetings(if i were to accept a jewish heritage and culture as part of a marriage as an example), but there is a limit to this; a clear cultural and heritage boundary. With asian fetishes there are no well defined barriers encapsulated in a structure. This grade is more problematic because this person isn't happy unless he has an asian as part of his psyche and this person won't admit it.
the more serious grade: an extension of the above. If you put this person in a rural village in china with the requisite hardships, this person would still have an asian fetish.
As I had mentioned, in the mid-West, an interest in Asians/Asian American man or woman would be considered different, as a columnist Vikki Ortiz for the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel given Chinese basketball player Yi Jianlian (drafted for the NBA's Milwaukee Bucks) advice:
"The exotic factor. True, this can be creepy from the wrong person. There will always be some guy (girl for you) at the bar who wants to talk to you just because you're Asian. I screen guys for "the fetish" in the beginning. ("Have you ever dated an Asian girl before? Really? How many? Do you decorate with bamboo? Is there any part of you that pictures me in a kimono, walking on your back, or serving tea?") And what I've found is that, most of the time, people don't have the fetish. They're just drawn to the person who looks different. That's not creepy; it's flattering."
http://www.jsonline.com/story/index.aspx?id=641870
I've never heard of problem with caucasian women having an Asian male fetish...
We are cursed men, Miss Turner.
asdf
You are a freak.
China doll
Will you marry me?
But if we do get married you must continue to work to support that shoe habit that you have :-)
Cuz Asian pussies are tighter
Anonymous
That is not true. My last Chinese girlfriend weighed all of 90 lbs and it was gaping I mean hugeeeee even though she never had children or a black boy friend before.
Suprised the heck out of me.
Do gay white guy have Asian fetishes too??
"That is not true. My last Chinese girlfriend weighed all of 90 lbs and it was gaping I mean hugeeeee even though she never had children or a black boy friend before."
Mmmm...maybe that is indicative of your own size. ;-)
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5847984513475560733&q=yellow+fever&total=339&start=0&num=10&so=0&type=search&plindex=1
insightful video about the yellow fever
that's a shit load of comments just on Asian fetishes....:)
Analogous to:why do the rich always wanna keep getting rich?
I can guess that some of the reasons are:
- Desires that turns into cravings
- a Human beings' struggle to settle with what is satisfaction and whats contentment.
- Most guys do this:be it asian,white,black fetishes.
I "think" what you are wanting to hear from this post is confirmation that you are the most socially "acceptable and demanded" - and maybe lots of confirmation of your society programmed believes.
I am not a fan of Asian pussy. They are much hairier than white women. It's weird because Asian women dont have much hair on their bodies exept a fucking HUGE BUSH on their pussy.
Also Asian pussy stinks. Even after the girls have washed!
Tighter? That is a myth made up by some otaku obsessed loser. Asian pussy is loose and stinky.
What is the issue here? if a guy likes you and you like him then what is the problem?
I like Asian women too, Russian as well :) but simply because of the exotism as at least in my case, I do not like submissive women.
So let us not stereotype things.
Also a lot of people confuse the word "fetish" and use it in the wrong context. A fetish is as far as I understand from my psychology readings, when the object of the affection has such a grip on the person that the afflicted person is not able to perform sexually without it. And so, one thing is to have a "fetish" and another one to have a "liking". There is a world of difference.
I agree with Yan.
I have often been accused of having an asian fetish. This is not true. An affinity for two asian looking girls combined with a love of video games has propelled this false perception.
I only have a thing for "not black or too dark". I don't like dark women, I don't know why, I just don't.
For half I'm sure there's a docile aspect, but for the other half I'm sure it's just genetics, predisposed to an affinity for Asian.
Niniane,
I thought I would leave some comments for you. First off, your writing is amazing! It is fresh, concise, and enjoyable to read. I am a college age white girl (mostly Italian) who is dating a white guy. I have experienced this ‘racial dating trauma’ from the sidelines, and the things people do and say can be unreal. I’ve got a couple of examples, my friends Bekah (white female) and Chesse (Asian girl).
My beautiful friend Bekah dated a black guy from a good background and nice family. All the white guys who were interested in her absolutely HATED him. They would pull horrible pranks on him, and call him the ‘N’ word to his face. Like I said, he was a good person, so he never started fights and would walk away from the situation. There were also a couple of black girls who liked him, and would make snide comments about my friend. They would call her phone, and hang up. Sadly, they ended up mutually calling it quits because Bekah was so upset that people wouldn’t leave them alone.
My friend Chesse is plagued by hordes of anime dorks and creepy 35 year old men whenever we go out on the town. The men assume she is a ‘passive Asian female’ who will ‘do anything to please a man’ and have sex with them if they buy her a drink. It’s absolutely incredible; they walk up to her and ask her if she takes martial arts. I love it when she tells them to take a hike, because half the time they can’t believe an Asian girl is actually being assertive! She feels that most of the men who approach her are not actually interested in her as a person, but her ethnicity.
My boyfriend spent a year in Japan teaching English (I did tell him he could see other women while we were apart), and when I went to visit I found out he had told everyone that he intended to marry me when he returned. The biggest shock was that his English speaking Asian co-workers who I met there said they were excited to see the girl who he had waited an entire year for and turned down numerous Japanese women while he was there. He ended up ending his contract a month early, and returned home to me. I am very fortunate to have such a wonderful and faithful man.
I do have a point to all of this. Here’s the truth of the situation:
Bekah didn’t date him based on the fact he was black, she dated him because he was a wonderful guy, and the white guys were complete jerks! Bekah’s boyfriend didn’t date the black women because they happened to be total bitches! Chesse doesn’t date creepy guys, because they are generally unfit to be boyfriends and want her to be some sort of lotus blossom-slave girl. She shouldn’t be expected to fulfill any man’s weird fantasies just because she is Asian.
This to the girls (any race) who are angry of women “stealing their men”:
This is all in your head. If they are genuinely good guys, then have you ever thought that they are dating a girl because they get along great and make a good couple? My boyfriend didn’t dump me for an Asian woman, which is living proof to all the white chicks complaining. No woman magically took away your future husband, maybe it’s just because no guy wants to date you. Stop trying to blame others, and take a good look at yourself, maybe you can see how jealous and insecure you’re acting!
To Niniane:
If you actually read all of this I will be very happy! You are an intelligent and beautiful woman who deserves a man who will not just treat you as arm candy. It’s a shame that Asian women are forced to fish through the jerks before they find the good ones. Here’s some advice for you. Chesse has found the best way to meet a guy is for her to approach him, instead of waiting for Asia-phile jerks to waltz over to her!
-Rachel (anon. because I used real people, and I don't want any Asia-philes stalking my girl Chesse! =P)
Look your not cute anyways. Comments like this is why your not married. I don't know any successful asian girls anyway. I am white male and I feel no attraction toward asians. I find asians try waay to hard to be white. Can't we just go back to when America was black and white? Asians barely been here and they feel like they belong. You gotta earn it. :)
Brian Galligan sounds like an angry asian guy. He's certainly not a native english speaker. Don't worry Brian, we'll leave a few women for you.
Ok dumbass. How are you going to say I don't speak English correctly? Oh let me guess, because i used "your" when i should have used "you're". Wow brilliant deduction.
What ever happened "Love sought is good, but given unsought is better."
Damn you Shakes!
Half-white / half Asian children are the ugliest. They get the worst combination of features:
--Small squinty Asian eyes
--Big white nose
--Bad white skin
--flat, limp Asian hair
With tons of makeup and airbrushed photos they look alright, but you could make Janet Reno look like a Playboy model with that stuff. It means nothing.
I'm late to the party, but my first impression was already added as comment, "what's special about a dude checking out all the girls in the room?" Without further evidence that's not a race thing but more of a gender thing, if anything :)
Also, statistically speaking, for every white guy dating an Asian girl there's an Asian girl dating a white guy (polygamous relationships excluded for sake of simplicity :) )
Oh, and whoa, lots of insults in the comments here!
Sorry Brian, if you can't see all the errors you made in your tirade then it's not up to me to fix it.
me brian, me speak good engrish!
portable!
I've probably dated more Asian girls than white girls.
It's not so much that I'm more in to Asian girls than white girls, it's more that a lot of times, Asian girls are more in to me than Asian guys.
re: Rachel @ 8/12/2007 3:57 PM.
Thanks for your thoughtful comment. The experiences of your two friends sounds very disturbing, and it's unfortunate that they suffered so much needless harassment. Fortunately I have not experienced such blatant racism, except when my family lived in Salt Lake City when I was 5 to 8.
So are you engaged to your Japan-visiting boyfriend now? Congrats. It's really sweet that he was so loyal and waited for you all year. :)
-Niniane
This is a trick post. There's no such thing as an attractive white guy with an Asian fetish!
Just like there's no such thing as an attractive Asian woman who only dates white guys.
Uglies of one race seek uglies of another. There's someone for everyone I guess.
From an asian guy's point of view,
a lot of these white guys date ugly asian girls. The white guy is usually tall and skinny; the asian girl is usually short and fat. I am all for this type of cleansing.
However, Philipino girls prefers to date white guys and not Asians.
While most other Asians girls would prefer to date other Asians.
LMAO! What planet are you from?
Man you are either blind or just plain stupid, or maybe both...
I remember reading some papers in anthropology classes which said to conquer a civilization, ancient European and Middle East conquerers would take all the conquered nations' women and girl as slaves, and buried all the men and boys alive. I think the Chinese did the same while they expected into the neighboring nations. Now that Asia/China is getting stronger, it is natural for the Caucasian to feel that they need to conquer the Asian women in order to weaken the Asian rise in power. So all the Asian sisters, resist the urge and repel the invaders! :-)
(reposted, just in case someone is going to ridicule my grammar) I remember reading some papers in anthropology classes which said, to conquer a civilization, ancient European and Middle East conquerers took the conquered nations' women and girl as slaves, and buried the men and boys alive. I think the Chinese did the same while they expanded into the neighboring nations. Now that Asia/China is getting stronger, it is natural for the Caucasians to feel that they need to conquer Asian women in order to weaken the Asian rise in power. So fellow Asian sisters, resist the urge and repel the invaders! :-)
Asian women don't want to date asian guys because of their little winkies. Sorry asian guys!
I am not 'officially engaged' yet. I decided it would be best for me to finish college before marriage. He kept hinting at it, and asking for my ring size, so I thought it would be best for me to tell him before he went ahead and spent his money on some crazy expensive sort of jewelry. So he said he would wait until I graduated. (Yay!)
Sigh, people just forget there are all sorts of girls in the world. Beautiful, ugly, fat, thin, nice, mean.. race is just a small part of who a girl is. I have lived in the US for 21 years, and I spent three wonderful months in Japan. Much to the distress of my 'nerdy-guy' friends, (who had never been to Asia, and were all insanely jealous I got to go to Japan) I can say there are chubby and ugly Japanese girls, BUT there are also beautiful ones, and average looking girls, too! Just like here in the USA. There is so much more to a woman than just her nationality.
As for the penis thing, I am pretty sure it varies from individual to individual. Height really doesn’t ‘prove’ your penis size. I know plenty of American guys who are considered short, and Asian guys who would be considered tall. Being American doesn’t automatically make you anymore manly than being Chinese makes you a weenie. Bill Gates vs. Jackie Chan one on one? I think I have proved my point. =)
-Rachel
I believe that the whole idea of Asian women complaining about constantly getting hit on by creepy white men or men in general is caused by Asian women alone. You've given non-Asian men an idea that you are more than willing to talk, date, or marry them. It's not really their fault. You've made the bed, now you'll have to sleep in it. What's sad is that most Asian women aren't bothered by it because it gives them a better chance of finding a boyfriend/husband, they just have to weed out the creepy ones first. In essence, instead of looking for a spouse, potential partners come to you.
Non-Asian men see so many Asian women with non-Asian men, it gives them the impression that Asian women would rather be with them than Asian men. I've seen this first hand. I hang out with my buddies after work and we always have a white mousy co-worker with us. When we talk to non-Asian women, he'll clam up and keep to himself. When an Asian woman sits down at the bar, his head picks up and his chest puffs out. He has become "Charisma Man." I've talked to two other white friends who have dated Asian women but are married to white women that in the white male community, Asian women are seen as "easy targets" and "home runs." Not necessarly easy "one-night stands" or slutty but rather the least likely to shoot down a white man. In essence, white men believe Asian women are glad that a white man is talking to them. On a insulting level, Asian women are viewed as less picky, bitchy, and demanding than white women. This also tends to attract the bottom feeding white men who aren't up to par. Not being insulting or anything but the old saying is that white men who date Asian women are the ones who aren't social or "good" enough to date white women.
This is why I find it funny that you can't see the connection between your "Why I don't date Asian men" post and this.
I have to laugh at the last poster, another angry asian guy upset that women he sees as his are dating white guys.
As for how asian women are seen, trust me, they aren't any less bitchy than white women.
I was that last poster and I think you should come up with a response that is actually a rebuttal to what I said rather than employing a half-assed overused knee-jerk response in an ad hominem attack.
Nowhere did I say or imply in my post that I viewed Asian women as "mine." What I simply theorized was that many of the problems that Asian women complain about on this topic are ironically created by Asian women themselves. This my own personal observation and I get an example as such.
And it wasn't only that they were viewed as less bitchy or demanding but rather many of them are.
Try again. This time, with a logical rebuttal.
Clearly angry asian guy is upset that Asian women date white men. Hopefully he realizes that if they were not dating some white male that they still wouldn't necessarily be into him. He takes some worn stereotypes to make his point backed up by his own biased perception.
Asian women prefer caucasians because they get treated better by those males. That's just as true a stereotype as the ones he was throwing out.
Good one.
Idiot.
Yes, we ALL know that Asian women prefer white men because they only have redeeming qualities because they're the only race that doesn't suffer from racial stereotypes. Just one of the perks of being white where you're thought of as an individual rather than associated with a group.
Guess it sucks to be a minority because as soon as one person does something bad, he represents everyone in his group.
If white men have the stereotype of treating women better, I guess you have to also accept the stereotype that all of you are child molesters because, well, you are.
The truth:
The majority of Asian girls date Asian Men. Just like the majority of white guys date white girls. Don't exaggerate the phenomena of the minority.
Asian girls who date white men tend to be ugly and with lower quality in many ways from Asians' point of view. (Quote: "Uglies of one race seek uglies of another.") vice versa ? not sure.
pretty niniane is not included.
Asian girls who marry or date Asian men have much better life than those who marry or date white men, according to friends around.
Advice for Asian men: you are the first choice of the majority of asian girls in the long term if you are good enough. Why do you think white guys are more attractive ?
For white men: Be proud of yourself before making sure of the quality of those asian girls you are dating from other asians' opinions
A better question is, Niniane, why do you have a "white" fetish?
White guys with yellow fever will go for any Asian, even Asian guy with a wig. Check this out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQoJ6xDyojg
So some asian guys are upset that women they think are ugly are going out with white guys?
Niniane,
I'm an Asian woman myself. You can't generalize all white men who are attracted to Asian women. There are some who are real assholes and really portray you as objects. But it's not because he has yellow fever, it's just because he's a plain asshole! There are some white men who love Asian women, but they are super nice, respectful and sincere. They just happen to be attracted to Asian women, but they respect them. It's just like any other guy liking other women of their type, say blondes.
Plus, you have to accept the fact that in the future more men will be attracted to Asian women. A lot of powerful men in the media such as Rupert Murdoch and the CBS CEO have Asian wives, FYI.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQoJ6xDyojg
I'm an Asian guy. I have a fetish for Caucasians. They are curvier.
"Half-white / half Asian children are the ugliest"
Amm, to the other anonymous poster, my sister's friend is from a mixed Irish/Asian relationship... and she is INCREDIBLY HOT. She got the best of all the genes in the pool, beleive me.
My wife was born in China, but her parents were born in Korea. I guess she's Chinese-Korean? Me, I have Irish, German, English, Scottish, and American Indian blood in me. I'm a mutt I guess. I think Asian women are more attractive to me because they tend to be more open-minded than most white women I know. They're interesting, funny (most of them), thoughtful, giving and polite. Most white women I know (I grew up in the Boston area), are the opposite of these traits. So it's not looks as much to me. Of course I prefer brunettes to blondes, and I like brown eyes better than blue...but those are qualities I'm attracted to in women of all races.
Let's not sugarcoat it, ok?
Racial preference is tantamount to racial prejudice. It's just a better way of saying something that normally has a negative connotation to it.
Get off your high horse, people.
"Hi. I have a preference to not live near black people because I have a prejudice against them."
Idiots.
Word.
"I have a preference for Latina women."
-AKA-
"I have a prejudice against non-Latina women."
I am a caucasian male and personally I don’t see the big appeal with asian women. I find most of them too skinny and I am not into black hair and brown eyes. I like blue eyes and blonde or brown hair. I personally am way more physically attracted to caucasian women. Also, why would I want to date a FOB who has no personality and can barely SPEAK ENGLISH? I thought a big part of a relationship is communication so how can you really communicate if you don’t speak the same language. And if the asian girl is not a FOB then she generally has a lot of they same attitudes and issues as a lot of the “western” girls anyways so what is the difference? As far as I’m concerned the rest of you loser white guys with the asian fetish can have them. I love my white girls! Are any other white guys out there with me?
wow, what an incredible use of "logic". You like something so therefore you must dislike everything else?
kenny m, gra, truly a pair of idiots.
well,im not a racist, to me why some white men want to have date asian girls coz they find asian are exotic. Its not really a big deal to me..i go out with white, asian or black or watever but all honestly i just observe the qualities of each races and whoever i find it more good then ill go with it.i am very particular to the character and personality. in the end..whoever had a good character and pleasing personality the more that i like to go out often..as of this moment latina got my attention.
I don't think it's a bad use of logic.
If you have a preference, it makes you believe that one is superior to another which is why you would like one more than another.
Therefore, if you believe that blah-blah is superior, in this case where it's based on race, it would be classified as racist.
For me as a caucasian male an even bigger concern is that asians seem to be taking over the world. They are pouring out of China and now are overrunning North America. Look at Toronto (at least 8 Chinatowns in the GTA), Hongcouver, Sydney, and San Francisco, for example. All great cities in a lot of ways but too bad I feel like a minority in all of them. And all of these white guys with their asian fetishes don't help matters either. They won't be happy until the whole world is either asian or half-asian. Too bad there is nothing I can do about it.
I guess you could say I have yellow fever but that doesn't mean I just date exclusively asian women. I just find that in general asian women especially beautiful asian women are much easier than beautiful white women. In almost every relationship I have had with an asian girl they seemed to idolize me and be thankful that I gave them a chance. The relationship in general is also much easier, just treat the girl right and it is smooth sailing. Not all asian women are submissive but I think they all secretly like to be dominated.
Asian women are usually petite. Are there any petite women of other races around Google? Probably not...
Maybe that's why it seems like these guys have asian fetishes. Maybe all the other women around are fat.
Asian women just want to get a white guy for money. Most of them are prostitutes any way. They are a cruel race that has no feelings. I think guys go out with them because they will do anything for a plate of chop suey or chp doggie whatever these people eat
"...they are a cruel race with no feelings.." That hurts my feelings.
An Asian
For what it is worth, some Asian women have a aura of class which the other races are just lacking. It isn't just looks and it certainly isn't the docile stereotype. It isn't that the white guys are losers who can't get a white (or reportedly "real") woman either.
The key word in all of this is "some" which means not all. As a white guy who has been happily married to my Korean-American better half for nearly a quarter century...I look around and thank my lucky stars she came into my life and accepted me into hers. We are happily and permanently one and we both feed off of each other.
I defy anyone to criticize us or call me a loser or she a whatever. We simply aren't..we are successful and happy..and she is the center of my life..my rock. Our daughters are well adjusted, smart, and yes...beautiful. They carry themselves with the same class as their mother which is something I see lacking in so many.
So all feelings of fetishism aside are meaningless in the the grand scheme of things. Yes, when I first laid eyes on her I melted at her grace and beauty. Part of it was no doubt Asian inspired but who cares? She wasn't my first Asian attraction but I was a equal opportunity dater She is my last Asian though...and last woman period.
So quit worrying about the small stuff and cherish life and love.
Yesterday, here in Boise, was Korea day. Downtown in the 8th street outdoor marketplace the local Korean community put on great show.
Two thinks I noticed. One while walking through the marketplace...the number of Asian white couples here is very common. I don't normally pay any attention so it really jumped out at me. Most were just shopping and no way connected with the show and most were not Korean. Their children tend to be beautiful/handsome and well behaved.
Secondly, looking at the men accompanying their wives to the show were white. Do white men support their wives better in this kind of activity in general? Don't know but one would think there would be many more Korean husbands than there were. There were also some families with adopted children from Korea which is just great to be involved in Korean culture.
Dear "Why do White Guys have Asian Fetishes??" Bloggers,
It is really interesting to read about this social aspect on society.
I am not one of the fellow white guys who have an asian fetish. I am not even a white guy to begin with or asian. Nor african american or middle easterner or latino, or india, or any of those big cultures.
What is interesting is that people really enjoy associating and aligning themselves with something that they can rely on, learn about, be apart of and so on and so forth. Everyone grows and learns. We are all free and this is a big huge blessing for America. My point is. It really isn't so much of a suprise looking at all of the things that have changed since World War II and Vietnam Era. Now, don't take me for an old guy. I am not. I am just saying that surveying the landscape of histories(politics, culture, pop-culture, arts, economy, religion, education, etc..) it would only serve to ask the question.
What took so long for people to start finding out about each other?
Yes...Asian women seem to have this exotic stigma. But with that comes the real person.
I am curious, will they loose this stigma one day?
Generally looking at how things are today...with culture and media and stuff like this...one would just about get fed up with it all. What ever it is. Maybe it is because the notion...an undiscussed notion that white guys may have towards asian woman. The idea of going home.
This is a very generalized outrageous slander...sorry about that...but that is my take..
The Idea Of Going Home. When there was not home to speak of....
T
WITHOUT ASIAN GUYS REPRODUCING, THERE WOULD BE NO ASIAN GIRLS EITHER. PERIOD.
Interesting discussion -- there was so much written, that I couldn't read all of it, but I wanted to give my input as a white male who has dated three east asian women consecutively... After the third one, people started to joke about me having an Asian fetish, which I rejected, but I actually came across this site through an internet search to figure out what people think about the idea of an "Asian fetish".
I dated a few American women before that and never thought of myself as having an "Asian Fetish", but I think it's true that I tend to find Asian women more attractive ON AVERAGE. However, there are quite a few Asian women whom I find quite unattractive. And to be honest, I can't determine exactly what the difference is. But I feel there must be some physical trait that some Asian women have that I really like, but I can't figure out precisely the combination. Here is my best guess:
The general body shape (especially the curvature of the waist), hair, shape of the eyes, and skin tone.
When I find a women physically attractive, I tend to find each of these elements attractive. But for me, I find Asian hair to be unbeatable. I like the kind of hair that I can run my fingers through, and although this is not always the case, more often then not Asian hair tends to be...I dunno, somewhat thicker and straighter. I always notice a woman's eyes and some Asian women have very interesting features here. Caucasian women tend to have eyes that are more sunken in, which I don't prefer as much. I also tend toward light, but slightly darkened skin tones, which a lot of Asian women have.
It was mentioned quite a few times throughout the comments, but I also find that the average Asian figure is much more attractive -- maybe that's because, in my experience, obesity is more common in caucasian women.
That said, I have never pursued any women strictly out of the desire to have sex with her. Moreover, I don't have any cultural stereotype regarding Asian women. In my experience, the first Asian woman I was with was quite submissive. But the next two were very strong willed, much more than the average woman, caucasian/asian combined.
I guess that I should note that I have always found meeting people from other cultures very exciting, that includes both men AND women. I have a very large number of european and asian male and female friends and also tend to have closer connection with them on average. That might also play a role in this, but it's not that I go and seek out international or well-travelled people exclusively.
Hope that this provides a little more insight into why some white men are attracted to Asian women and (I hope) to dispel the "Asian Fetish" idea, because when I hear that phrase, to me it implies that the person requires an asian women in order to be sexually satisfied and I dislike the idea that people would use such a term for me if I naturally find some physical features attractive that Asians might have in statistically higher quantities.
Niniane,
Interesting topic, but one that seems to bother asian women more than the average person out there. Consider this: why do so many asian women complain about being fetishized when they seem to be doing the same thing not only towards selecting white suitors as potential mates, but never considering other races ( Latinos, Black or even asian males) as viable, suitable mates? You'll often hear asian women say: " I don't want to date a guy with yellow fever and I don't want to date an asian guy with bad manners. I have no OTHER options! My life is over. I will die all alone". I guess there are no descent, intelligent, kind, educated and respectable blacks or latinos out there. My point is: everyone has stereotypes about the world ( including asian women)and it is hypocritical of some asian women to cry wolf about yellow fever when many of the women would describe their ideal racial mate as having light skin, light colored eyes and western american ideals and behaviors. I bet you that most of the asian women who are in your click of friends have mainly dated whites...or... asians. Why have they limited themselves to those two kinds when there are 3 or 4 other races available too? Because, asian women like many people wouldn't want to be associated with the social stigmas that come with dating a latino or a black person regardless of how wonderful as a person the latino or black person or in some cases, the asian person might be. Correct me if I am wrong, most asian families believe that marrying a white or asian person is far easier on you and the family and better for the future of your children than marrying into latino or god forbid, blacks. Some will never say it outloud, but the reality is that whites are at the top of marriage materials ( even if the guy is ugly, smells, has no power or money and is culturally insitive to you), then asian and then the other races, if you must or if you are rebel enough.
But if you really want to understand the roots of th epreference that many men have for asian women, it has to do with the idea of feminity. What do you consider masculine? A man with confident yet caring voice? A man with a healthy body? A man with good skin and hair? A man with a good sense of humor? A man with intelligence? Well, the same is true of men towards women. We look for the same things. Yes, some few men tend to have the idea that women should be subordinate to them and tend to everyone of their desires. But it is unfair of you ( or any other asian women) to label all men as such. If it was the case that all men wanted submissive women, then you would have no respect for your own father, right? But I am sure, you respect your father for being a REAL man who married someone (your mother) for qualities beyond how she looked and sounded. Most men want to be with someone who will make them feel good to be with them. Someone they will feel proud to be seen with. Someone who will make them feel the envy of other men. I agree with you that asian women are very much like any other women in this world. They come in all shades of personality and it is unfair for some men to expect all asian women to be Suzie Wongs. But what attracts a man to any woman, is the perception that the woman is pretty, youthful looking, pleasant, mysterious and not easy to approach. Correct me if I am wrong, but women in many cultures are often taught from a young age to be more polite than boys, more graceful than boys, more reserved than boys, more thoughful about their actions than boys. Asian women are no exception to this. The difference is that the physical completion of an asian woman lends itself to providing the appearance that she is both youtful looking and kind, therefore pleasant. Let me explain: what happens someone of any race, smiles? Their eyes squint right? and we feel pleased to see someone smile. Asian women are naturally BLESSED ( not cursed) with smaller eyes that can appear to like someone smiling from a distance, therefore making one wanting to smile back or feel as the person they are looking at, is a pleasant person. But the moment given person opens her mouth ( especially if she is as Yellow fever sensitive as you are), the opinon of you ( or whatever asian woman being approached) is a negative one. You can turn down someone without having to be rude and barbaric about it. In Europe and in South America, it is not uncommon for men to pay women they see pretty anywhere, a simple compliment without feeling a need to date the woman. Here is america, when someone gives a pretty woman a genuine compliment ( not one of those " you look hot baby!". That I agree would be rude!), women tend to be extremely defensive especially if it is a compliment coming from someone from an "undesirable" race or social status.
People are attracted to others very often by their looks. I am sure you make yourself look pretty in the morning before going out of the house. Why then complain if someone notices the effort you have put into CATCHING someone else's attention? Rather than to be antigonist towards someone showing a genuine interest in your looks, just say " thank you" and if you are not interested, move on but take with you the reminder that you have in your appearance, something that makes someone else feel elated to have seen you or met you.
Maybe th eproblem is not that men have asian fetish, but that asian women don't find themselves pretty enough to get attention because they constantly see their own bodies as not being developed enough to be called " a woman"...They constantly look at white , blacks, latina woman with curvier bodies, bigger boobs, longer legs, curlier hair and asian women think " that's what a grown woman looks like and I sure don't. so why are men paying me so much attention when I feel like I am an ugly duckling ?"
The issue may be one of not appreciating your self enough as who you are.
Bestwishes in your search for a man who doesn't take looks and personality as a primary reason to be interested in an asian woman.
1. White women who are beautiful are bitches, ie: they have ugly personalities. In a rare case you'll get a pretty white women whose actually nice, in which case shes taken. If you don't agree your a beautiful white bitch.
2. People are attracted to the exotic, which means 'different then them'. White men are bombarded by mainstream culture to worship white women as sexual objects, often to a point of desensitization. Leaving little mystery when considering a white women as a sexual partner.
3. Black and Latino culture can be intimidating for the average white guy. I've been close to dating both Black and Latino girls myself, but speaking on average most white guys just don't have the cultural savvy to go for that type of chick, or in a more southern context, avoid them based of racial prejudice.
3. The average Asian women who happens to be beautiful is less likely to be a bitch then a beautiful white women for the simple fact that ALL beautiful white women are bitches, save maybe %10.
Just like a lot of peeps blame asian guys for assuming the pretty asian girl won't go for them, most white guys assume the pretty white girl is a stuck-up raging cunt and don't even bother. That is of course unless you have a macho 'hit on any girl' type guy in which case he doesn't really care about a girl's personality.
So thats why white guys go for asian girls. Some one said white/black/latino girls have more curves or what not, but all women can be beautiful in different ways. you guys just don't act like douche bags about it like white girls do so its worth the effort.
I'm a white guy married to an asian girl, for 6 years now. Before we were married I had several serious relationships. I tried not dating asian girls for a few years but it didn't work out.
It might sound strange but I think I've had better relationships with Asian girls because personality wise it's a better match. We simply have more in common.
Modern white girls are just too, aah, macho for me. I was looking for a lasting relationship, intimacy, and commitment not a one night stand, or a friend with benefits. There are still white girls that meet this criteria but in my experience they are getting increasingly difficult to find.
Hey i'm a 17 year old black guy from Detroit, Michigan an i would like to add my comment to this. From my experience with trying to find a girlfriend, i find it less intimidating to ask out an asian girl. But the reason why i like asian women is because of anime and martial arts movies. I tried numerous time to ask out black and white girls(my age of course), but i find it very intimidating. I don't even have many female friends that are black or white, but i always knew some asian girls. It's probably the fact that black women (which i will point out have the highest unmarried statistic in the U.S.) are stereotyped as obnoxious, loud mouthed, and having attitude/anger problems. White women are stereotyped as being bratty, spoiled, and egotistical. And latin females are stereotyped as wild, flamboyant, and tough. But i don't really care about the race of the person.(I'm part white and i'm part native American.) It's just that i find asian women to be beautiful.(Blame it on anime and martial arts films for me to be like this.)
I think most asian women I've ever met appear to be more respectful towards others. They also tend to be very intelligent. They are all very beautiful and seem to take very good care of themselves.
Actualy most of the guys with "asian fetish" just like the look of asian women. Sure there are those assholes who steriotype asian women and like them because they think they are submissive or easy, but most guys who like asian girls just think the features of asian women are cute.
cute and bubbly! attractive and smart! that's why i like asian girls! look in the mirror, hun...YOU'RE HOT!!
perhaps it's an "exotic" thing. maybe it's the eyes. i like black girls too. i'm really not attracted to white/latin women at all...i'm not entirely sure why. i'm satisfied with "exotic".
and ALL guys look at other women. seriously...from a guy's perspective, it's nearly impossible not to. a good guy just won't oogle over them or make you feel bad by talking about how hot she is for the next 5 minutes. ;)
honestly, i think there's a lot more to the superficial aspect than people like to admit. asian women generally have physical traits that men like in any race (shiny hair, dark eyes, good skin, slender physique, etc.) i don't think it's some complicated submissive thing (are asian american girls really submissive? I haven't met too many of those)
Why do we have to invent all this post-colonialism pscychobabble crap?
Much of it also has to do with shared values. If you look closely, many of the white guys are IT professionals, engineers, scientists, or have advanced degrees in something. Often asian women value that educational achievement while caucasian women often do not. Perhaps there is also a cultural notion of deferred gratification with asian women as many will stick with a hardworking, socially awkward, engineer as opposed to most caucasian women who will only settle for the total package upfront. This is not always the case, but is often true. On the other hand, many tech types tend to date asian women because that is what is available to them. Look at any technical profession and the rarest bird of them all is a white woman. Men date what is available to them.
All these nonsense about shared values, education yadda yadda yadda is a myth and tryna deliver backhanders to other races. I don't particularly find Asian women more educated than other folks and white men for that matter. Stereotypes and labels and sheep''ish'' reasoning. Being in Engineering, IT etc is like that joke in Africa whereby everyone is a Dr, Engineer Lawyers and all those boring jobs that don't mean anything to anyone save person concerned. Yep I got masters in law so nothing.
Here in England, I get irritated very quickly to see these asian girls drink theyselves into a stupor tryna ''fit in'' and then treated like a two bit ho. By the way we don't have many asian Brits so most try extremely hard to be down as johnny come latelies.
It is simple, most of these girls are with socially awkward guys as someone suggested and some of the girls too won't set a party alight when it comes to busting moves so the fit is due to shared insecurities...at least in my manor that's whats up!
a swallow don't a summer make
I blame porn, so much asian fetish stuff out there since I've been a teenager. Totally hooked, always visit asian escorts, can't treat them as people. just pieces of meat.
As a white female, I am personally sick and tires of this Asian chick crap. Everywhere I look it's a white boy and an Asian girl. It's like a fad! It's the boy's equivalent of Coach purses to girls...everyone's got one slung on their arm. And so are so many other non-Asian girls. I've done my own interviews and found that many of them have had their white bf cheat on them with non-other than Asian chicks. Why? Who knows. Maybe they have no morals and don't care about breaking up other people's relationships to get what they want. And these stupid white guys who are dating Asian girls all tell me the same thing "She's EXOTIC and CUTE". Meaning they like to be sleeping with chicks that look like 6 year old aliens. (No pun intended...or was it?) And I suppose they are easier to get along with because they've been trained to be brain-dead. The real problem? White guys are pussies. They can't deal with a real woman who is responsive, passionate and has a real body she can work with. According to my God sent boyfriend, no Asian girl has ever been as passionate, open and physically able for the kind of sex he's dreamt of like me. Than again...Latinas are good that way. Hopefully more of white guys can man up and see what they’re missing.
I am a white male interested in Asian Females although i haven't had a chance to form a relationship with one.
The reasons i am interested in them are not that i find then submissive, easy to fuck, looking like children, they are white-washed or they worship white males, its mainly their physical appearance that makes me interested in them (which is the highest priority for males all over the world). I can guess that the regularity of no-clue white males approaching the asian women helped to form this perception, but it is an overgeneralization. And i cant understand having this racial reference is linked to racist discrimination. So if you for example, are more interested in blondes isnt it discrimination ? And according to this logic we can also say that there is a huge subcouncious discrimination going on in everyone's minds when they choose their partner. Can you say that you are not subconsciously "filtering out" the traits you are not attracted to when selecting your partner ? Aren't you also discriminating when you make snapshot judgements about people on their social status ? And, what about the physical traits you find attractive within a race, aren't you discriminating against brown haired guys or girls when you prefer blondes ? ( These questions are referred to the people who have generalization fetishism)
isn't this post flogged to death? It's all down to a jones and everyone has it in one form or the other!
Some Asian girls might want to imagine in their minds that they are sine qua non when it comes to women and for some dudes it is that all asian women want white male exclusively which is ridiculous.
All in the mind and of course thoughts aren't policed and the topic of this blog is a prime example of races jockeying for one upmanship like crabs in barrels.
I am a 16 year old boy from Australia. I have lived in Canberra all my life. I havn't really witnessed the whole 'American-Asian interracial marriage' in its most, err, fruitful state. But now as i am growing older and older, just walking down the street in the City turns my Asian-radar on full blast.
My Asian preference begun when i went to Vietnam in November 2008 with World Challenge. The funny thing was, i probably would not have reacted so sexually to Vietnamese girls if another member hadnt joked about developing an 'asian fetish'. It was like i was forced into it by his light-hearted joking. Nontheless, i was soon irretrievably hooked, as a chronic, pre-existing affection for feet turned what had originally been a joking matter into something which can be accurately described a 'fever'. The more i looked, the more i wanted. I suppose i can be a little schoolboyish - for example, feeling aroused when 20 something year old Vietnamese girls in a cramped marketplace corridor grasp my muscular calves - but the themes get deeper. I think, for an intellectual, asian girls are much more appealing. But what do i know, i am only sixteen, and many of my impressions are just thoughts not experiences.
The 'Asian fetish' hasnt been good for me so far. I suppose there are not many asians around, but America seems to be a whole lot different when it comes the way society works. Every 'Asiaphile' on the internet claims to have dated 'all of them'. Dating? nah, not really. My life has been pretty bland actually. But dont attribute this to my newfound asia goggles, you asiaphile-phobes. i.e, people who somehow attribute asiaphila to a failure in white people, you are pathetic. And wrong.
I get very depressed going out in public. Because then i see what the world is around me. I want to at least talk with these women. I want them to appreciate me. When ever i see and couple with an asian female, i break somehow. I wanna be a part of it, you know?
In stead im stuck in my shitty repetitive lifestyle with my basic, Aussie family.
Its really envervating.
But i suppose, as my maths-whiz, not so masculine mate commonly does, that 'it'll all change in UNI'.
I hope so... better than moping around in this uns-Asian-ated (unsatiated) state for the rest of my life. I feel so guilty writing this. Im sorry asian females, i cant help it.
We can't help it...
White men goes for Asian women because they have a higher chance of scoring.The percentage of White men who are strictly into Asian women are very small.The percentage of Asian women who preferred only White male is higher.Majority of White men will not say the reason they go for these women is because they are easy.That would crush the White man ego.I know many White men who are cheating on their Asian spouses,sometimes with non-Asian women.Asian women wants to percived that they are so wanted,so they won't admit to their White men fetish.Both groups can't be honest with themselves.You will find many White men who has date Asian women,has also dated non-Asian women.Where you find these same Asian women only dates White men.
Here's an article on this topic.
Columbia study
In 2007 the economist Ray Fisman, in a two-year study he co-authored on dating preferences among Columbia University students, did not find evidence of a general preference among white men for Asian women. Furthermore, the study found that there is a significantly higher pairing of white men with East Asian women simply because East Asian women discriminate racially against black and hispanic men. As quoted on Slate.com, and also reported in the Washington Post [1] and The Review of Economic Studies [2] (a publication of the London School of Economics and Political Science [3] ):[19]
“ We found no evidence of the stereotype of a white male preference for East Asian women. However, we also found that East Asian women did not discriminate against white men (only against black and Hispanic men). As a result, the white man-Asian woman pairing was the most common form of interracial dating—but because of the women's neutrality, not the men's pronounced preference. Men don't seem to discriminate based on race when it comes to dating. A woman's race had no effect on the men's choices. ”
This study was conducted over two years by psychologists Sheena Iyengar and Itamar Simonson, and economists Fisman and Emir Kamenica — all of Columbia University. They took data from "thousands of decisions made by more than 400 daters from Columbia University's various graduate and professional schools."[19
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Uncle_G/Preference_for_Asian_women_by_non-Asian_men
i agree with that submission in toto. and there is no hate in that.
I am a white man and I've been married to a beautiful Chinese woman for 17 years. Why did I want her? Her smile, her eyes are almost black, she still smells wonderful. She is very smart, very quick, well educated and has a good job teaching music at the college level. She's an excellent musician, playing violin and piano and I play cello and piano. We have no children and live in a very nice high rise condo. I teach applied math at the college level. We both have doctorates. We enjoy a very wonderful life together. After 17 years with her, I am more in love with her today than I was when we married. She is the sexist woman I have every known. She is a wonderful lover, very imaginative and creative. I can't say that I have never looked at another woman, but I have never seen anything better than what I go home to every night. I am the luckiest man in the world. Eat your hearts out boys and girls.
White men like asian girls because we are super-beautiful ;-)
I also don't mind if a guy I am with is looking at other women - he's dating me, not blind! As long as he's giving me the attention I need, his eyes can wander where they please.
I think that Asian Men should not mind if White Men or other races of men increasingly start relationships with more Asian Women, even if there are an extremely large number of such relationships and women of other races don’t reciprocate as readily at first. But let us always keep peace with one another no matter what happens. I believe that this should be true even if this causes many Asian Women to reject Asian Men and to look down on them and to put them down as unworthy of them also. That will never be true for Asian Men and Asian Women and for Asian Men and any other race of women also, or for any woman individually.
I also do not think that Asian Men should mind White Men and men of other races starting relationships with Asian Women also because for Asian Men who believe in interracial relationships with Asian Men and Women of Other Races, it would be hypocritical for them to be against Asian Female-Men of Other Races relationships. It would be a double-standard and would be forbidding others to do what Asian Men want themselves, you’re supposed to treat others the way you want to be treated in life, and so because it is wrong for Asian Men who are for Asian Man-Women of Other Races relationships to be against Asian Woman-Men of Other Races couples, I do not think that Asian Men should be against it at all. And I think that the Asian Men who are against such a thing and who are so are just stressing themselves out over something that they should not mind at all.
Plus, you could look at the bright side and think of it this way, with so many men of other races starting so many relationships with Asian Women, it causes women of other races to think of Asian Men as possible future partners for themselves also, as likewise, many men of their own race have found Asian Women to be compatible partners with them as well. And Asian Women-Men of Other Races couples cause women of other races to start think of starting future relationships with Asian Men and cause them to realize that an Asian partner might make a compatible future mate for them as well. In fact, many White Men even know that this effect occurs, and so they try to stop other races of men from starting relationships with Asian Women so that they can prevent Asian Men from starting relationships with other races of women. So, by being against Asian Women and Men of Other Races couples, you are just taking away other people’s freedom of choice which you should respect, being racist yourself, being a hypocrite and practicing a double-standard, especially if you are for Asian Men starting relationships with Women of Other Races, playing into other people’s hands who are completely racist against you without you even realizing it, and just being self-destructive.
Although if an Asian Male prefers only White Females or an Asian Female prefers only White Males, and of course, if a White Female prefers only Asian Males or a White Male prefers only Asian Females, then it is their choice, and they both should have the freedom to choose to do whatever they want and they should both have their choices be respected without other people interfering in it or criticizing it. If it were the other way around, and there were a lot of beautiful White Females who said that they only preferred Asian Males, then I'm sure the negative response from Asian Males would be far less, regardless of how wrong it was, and how prejudiced it was for them, because of it was self-benefiting to them, and because of the lack of selflessness involved to still believe and do what was right. So, therefore, I don't believe that Asian Men should mind if so many White Men have Asian fetishes.
I find that the Asian woman is more up to my intellectual speed and they actually listen to our conversation whereas an American woman is only looking to see whats in it for her.
my girlfriend now does not mind if i look at beautiful Asian women because she knows I wouldn't do anything. I guess she has the confidence someone here is lacking.
Oh BTW she prefers caucasian men to Asian men who don't treat their lady with respect and dignity.
It's pretty simple. Guys who can't get a decent White, Hispanic, or Black girl must scrape from the bottom.
Any decent looking guy with one is obviously mentally inept or simply a creep who wants to use her.
Stick with Asian guys women, you can't go wrong.
People are over analyzing this. It's pretty simple. Asian women have different facial features from White women. Those features are different and we find theme exotic because its not typically the features a White woman has. It has nothing to do with being a good housewife or any of that bullcrap.Simply put, you guys have nice facial features, the end. Also, you do realize it works both ways, right? White guys aren't forcing Asian women to date them. I think you guys may be just as guilty of having a fetish.
I'm Hispanic, and I have an Asian fetish. I also know some black guys that have it too. So it’s not just white guys.
Now it’s mostly the eyes. Your eyes are so beautiful, that we just can’t help but look at them. Also the overall attractiveness of an Asian woman never really goes away. In every other race, most attractive women, become fatter and uglier as they age. But Asian women, the majority of them stay hot for most of their life. Sure they get some wrinkles, and put on some weight, but for the most part, they are still very attractive, well into their elder years. Then if you look past the physical aspect and concentrate on the mental. A lot of them just know how to treat a man. (Not so much with the Americanized Asian women. But the home grown ones make for amazing wife’s.)
I'm Hispanic, and I have an Asian fetish. I also know some black guys that have it too. So it’s not just white guys.
Now it’s mostly the eyes. Your eyes are so beautiful, that we just can’t help but look at them. Also the overall attractiveness of an Asian woman never really goes away. In every other race, most attractive women, become fatter and uglier as they age. But Asian women, the majority of them stay hot for most of their life. Sure they get some wrinkles, and put on some weight, but for the most part, they are still very attractive, well into their elder years. Then if you look past the physical aspect and concentrate on the mental. A lot of them just know how to treat a man. (Not so much with the Americanized Asian women. But the home grown ones make for amazing wife’s.)
I, too, have an Asian fetish.
in 1954 I paid a Korean sex worker $5 in U.S. "funny money" to take my virginity in a brothel in Hongchon, Korea.
My daughter (from 1983) is Cambodian, as is her husband, giving me two lovely adult granddaughters and a quite beautiful six-year-old great-granddaughter!!
A Vietnamese girl stole my heart in 1993.
A Chinese girl did it again as recently as 2011.
I may be horny, but there must be a limit to how many Asian females one male heart can support.
Bob
"Many a time, a Caucasian guy will be standing with a beautiful Asian date, yet he'll be ogling my friends or me from across the room. He already got a gorgeous Asian woman, so why isn't he satisfied?"
Give me the hottest woman on Earth, and I will still want to bang another woman from time to time
Wow. Five years later and the discussion still ongoing. Is finding a different race or ethnicity particularly attractive still considered a fetish?
racist much, asshole.
They seem to be nicer to be around that Western women, they don't seem to have the 'Princess' mentality of western women either. There is also the exotic looks and the smaller body type. White women can often look chunky and heavily built compared to Asian women.
Only if you are a white man and you are attracted to Asian women
Simply for me, I prefer them because most of the Asian women I have dated are WAY more down to earth, they tend to stay in better shape due to the ridiculous standard of beauty they have in Asia... (if you don't look like a skeleton you're getting fat). I also prefer petite women, with pretty eyes, it's not solely an Asian thing, it just so happens that a lot of Asian girls have those qualities, at least up front. Kinda lame if women are secretly turning down what could be a good match for them because they fear he has an Asian fetish.
I'm a Bisexual female, and while I don't have an "Asian fetish" I do tend to consider Asian girls cute more often than not. But in my case, I also am very attracted to Native Americans, and Celts. Why? Because they tend more towards bone structures I find attractive. I like more "pixie" ish looks on women, and the asian facial bone structure lends itself well to that look. Yeah, I'll find other races cute as well for the exact same face type, but it's a genetic thing, just like I have a rather traditional British face look.
The supposed personality traits and emotional traits of any race are pretty bogus in my opinion.
Really? As a white man I find Asian women seem to chase me and I'm rarely interested. Asian women I don't find very attractive on average. I think as many if not more Asian women have a white fetish. Usually I see a dorky white guy with an Asian woman. It takes 2 to tango....to say its one way is hardly believable.
Here's your answer. They THINK they're god's gift to women. The other side of the problem is that SOME of the Asian women that date them are self-hating fools. The pro-white media and anti-nonwhite media deludes them with the belief that they're great.
http://creepywhiteguys.tumblr.com/
I work in a hospital, where almost 90% of mixed marriages are white men with asian women (I mean eastern asian women). And almost all of them are:
1) Uneducated Asian women - We frequently have to get qualified translators to translate procedures and treatment to them. If the husband is not around, and his Asian wife is asked something as simple as 'Can I give you your medication?', she will stare at you..Highly educated? I don't think so.
2) Have huge age gaps. Once there was a man in his 60's, with his 20-year old Chinese bride..He always walked 10 feet in front of her, with her trailing along, looking lost. Lots in common?I don't think so.
3) Have fetishes on both sides. So many of the men and women I have met (mostly on the maternity ward) have proudly announced that their offspring will be the most beautiful baby on the ward. Not if you both like Godzilla. Mixed babies are almost ,always cute. Not only if you are half-white, half-oriental.
4) Have the ugliest eyes. Their babies are born with slits for eyes. You cannot perform a neonatal check. White and black babies, have the most beautiful eyes, even at birth. The whole fucking 'exotic' crap should apply to anybody that looks 'different, from a foreign land', not just to Eastern Asian women. The media, movies, ads, magazines have all cashed in on this. Ask a native Asian, do they find their eyes attractive? No. That's why so, so, so many of their women opt for double eyelid surgery!! In a horror film, any evil character is always cartooned with 'slanty' eyes. Co-incidence? I don't think so.
5) Almost all of them are gold-diggers. Argue with me as much as you want, but actions speak louder than words. How many times have we heard the cliche 'I love you long time',and then go on to hear the cheapo claim 'I only love his money'??!!
6) Fake. White men behave differently around Asian women, and Asian women behave differently around White men. So the loud, screeching, racist, uncouth, uneducated, sly, stingy, mercenary Asian, is suddenly your ultra-feminine, cute Asian goddess. My neighbours are WMAW. She lived alone before that. I only saw the devil everyday.
Asian fetish is racism. Plain, stupid, ignorant racism. If you choose your partner (never mind sex toy) on how slanted her eyes are, or how white-washed her skin looks, then you have some serious problems.
Lets conclude this long discussion; Socially inept white men will marry poor asian woman
That is a stereotype right there. All Asian women aged beautifully? Wrong, I see and know some Asian women who do not age well. All of this is the media's perception.
East indian women share all of those traits are are not fetishized in the same way.
It is a result of media and other brainwashing.
I tend to agree with Sarah, that asian women seem heavily sexually fetishisized in North American culture. Bad stuff all around...
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