Sunday, August 05, 2007

geek conversations about love (final part in a series)

Walking out of a club, many moons ago.

Eve: "You looked like you were having a good time talking to that girl."

Anthony: "Yeah! She seems really cool."

Eve: "Did you get her number?"

Anthony: "No. I don't usually ask women for their phone number."

Eve: "What? Why not?"

Anthony: "Instead I give them my business card, and I come up with a reason for them to write to me. Like, 'Email me if you want travel tips for Shanghai.' Or 'Email me about that stock portfolio strategy I mentioned.'"

Eve: "Does that ever actually work?"

Anthony: "Yeah, most of the time they'll email me."

Eve: "Really? Whenever a guy gives me his card, I immediately throw it into the trash as soon as I walk outside. If he doesn't have the guts to ask for my number, it's not going to work."

Anthony: "[sighing] Maybe this is why I never manage to date girls like you."


John K. Lin said...

Next time I see you, I'll ask for your phone number :-)

:-**-: said...

I am painfully shy and have never asked a girl out in my life... But I never have a shortage of dates...Why put yourself out there to be shut down...It is all about timing.. Sooner or later she will be available and if you have left a good impression her first thoughts when the time is right will turn to you.

Adam Lasnik said...

You know, Niniane, I'm not sure if your friend Eve is single, but IMBO she should be.

Most modern women (rightfully) insist on equality with men... equal pay, equal rights... yet sometimes infuriatingly refuse to take any sort of initiative much less responsibility in the realm of dating.

Why on earth must it always be the guy who asks for contact info? What century is your friend living in, Niniane?

Anonymous said...

Adam, are you talking about how things are, or how they should be? Because even here, in the 7th year of the 21st century, guys are expected to do the asking in most dating scenes.

Yeah, it sucks to be a shy guy (or an aggressive girl). I guess you're saying Eve shouldn't be so proud of wanting something she has no intention of ever giving?

Adam Lasnik said...

I think it really depends on the culture and area. When I've been in Europe, I've had quite a few women ask me for my phone number or e-mail address; not to overgeneralize, but European women often seem to be more assertive and confident than American women: for example, when I was getting my hair cut in Germany, the stylist said, "Hey, I like you. Would you like to go dancing with me and my friends tonight?" Fewer games, less hard-to-get crap. Is it so crazy to just say what's on your mind? (contrastingly, one of my European friends frankly noted: "Hey, you're cool, but you're too short for me, so I'm not going to date you. Just so you know.")

So anonymous, yeah, I may be a bit idealistic, and I'd bet that there are more women today who expect or even insist that guys always make the first move. But that doesn't make the behavior any less annoying or hypocritical.

Justin said...

So funny! There was this girl I met at a bar who threw my card away right in front of me (well she didn't actually throw it.. she just left it on the table after picking it up)... I guess now I know. LOL