Monday, January 22, 2007

hard to resist


cougar: (noun) Any older woman who frequents clubs in order to score with a usually much younger man. The cougar can be anyone from an overly surgically altered wind tunnel victim, an absolute sad and bloated old horn-meister, to a real hottie, or milf. Cougars are gaining in popularity ( particular the true hotties ), as young men not only [find them] a fucking incredible sexual high, but many times a chick with her shit together.

That cougar I met last night, showed me shit I didn't know existed, I'm goin' back for more.

Talking to my brother Tom about a Chinese man four years younger than me.

Me: He's arriving on Friday. It's impossible long-term, so maybe I should just avoid the situation. Before one or both of us become more emotionally invested.

Tom: I don't know why we're discussing this. What are you going to do on Friday night, sit at home and surf the internet? Of course you'll go see him.

Me: But it's doomed, so what's the point?

Tom: Memories.

Me: That's true. In 20 years, I don't want to look back on my hollow life...

Tom: Instead you'll be the cougar you were destined to become.

Tom: When you get married, I'm going to give you a big stuffed-animal cougar. It'll have a T-shirt with block letters, "BE GOOD".

Me: [laughing] Or how about, "These Days Are Over"?

Tom: Unless you're marrying a much younger man. Then it'll say "These Days Are Just Beginning".


ArC said...

Call me crazy, but a four year age difference doesn't sound insurmountable to me; it's not like you're robbing the cradle here.

Anonymous said...

a wannabe cougar!

Anonymous said...

When women get about 35 minimum they become such incredible lovers.

I have been with a few older women.

One of the best was my landlord. A 40 year old woman.

Her ability to read me and my movements made such an unbelievable experience.

Once a woman becomes comfortable with her body and her desires the relaxation level just brings it to an entire new level.

What a great experience.

She was Chinese so no discount for rent though hahah

God love cougars.

Cassiopeia said...

Niniane, that paragon of geriatric womanhood! Not. No rippling back fat, brassiere lacks hydraulics, ass bears no resemblance to a pudding-laden lycra stuffsack at 4300 PSI. Full set of prominent, aggressive dentition; looks to be stock original, with some light cosmetic work. Head and face pleasantly symmetric and unvariegated, quite unlike the tortured cantaloupes of the over-fifty set. I'm afraid you have quite a ways to go, before attaining the coveted rank of Cougar.

Danni said...

What are the cougar prey called? Besides "lucky".

Danni said...

Oh, and was Cameron Diaz a "cougar"? Was J-Tim her "cub"?

Anonymous said...

Yes, RE Cameron Diaz. And Demi Moore would also be in the category of Cougar

Phill Midwinter said...

they got your name wrong! instant google application denial

my girlfriend is 10 years older than me, i'm 22. nothing wrong with it.

Anonymous said...

when I was 18 I was lucky enough to date a 34 year old (although she looked young enough to get offered the student discount at movie lines). man was that a great experience. she exposed me to anal sex, group sex and orgies, rimjobs, sex in public (we used to go at it right on a bus -- which, sometimes, she also got the student fare on, ironically). and i learned how to give girls multiple orgasms for hours and hours on end, which has served me immeasurably in the years since. go cougars!

chironex said...

One hell of a weekend, wasn't it?
And that's not counting the water sports, BDSM play, multiple costume changes and matching Wonder Twins tattoos!