Monday, January 15, 2007

day of stupidity

I had today off work for Martin Luther King remembrance.

I woke up and ambled downstairs from my San Fran crash pad, to find a parking ticket on my car windshield. Parking meters are still enforced on MLK Day.

I look in the envelope, and there's a second ticket. Four months ago, the DMV asked me to do a smog test. I did. Their computer system failed to recognize it, and did not send me new tabs. I have an appointment with them in five days. That did not stop the meter maid from merrily printing me a $50 ticket for expired tabs.

I drive to brunch with seven friends. When the bill comes, I count the change four times, each time bashing into a mental block in computing the sum. Then, I make the error that 175 plus 60 equals 215.

I requested everyone put in another two dollars. A minute later, the fog of idiocy lightened, and I gave everyone their two dollars back.

My dad, being a math professor, often shakes his head in disgust that Americans pull out calculators when computing tip. If he ever hears this story, my cell phone will have a voice mail from him the next day. In it, he will politely request that I change my last name from Wang to Liu or Ma or Jefferson, to avoid further tarnish to the family name.

I run some errands, and drive to the Google gym. I decide to leave my purse in the trunk, as it's safer there. Just as I push the trunk closed, I realize that my car keys are in my purse, and will be locked into the car.

The trunk clunks shut, closing off my hopes with it.

TiVo, DVD, and mp3 players have taught me that if you catch an event within five seconds, you can rewind back to before it happened. I put my hands on the trunk in earnest desire to fix the error before it's permanently recorded.


Security is kind enough to call a locksmith. I huddle on the cement garage floor for 45 minutes, waiting to pay $75 for the 90-second lock service.

I explained to the locksmith that it's been a long day. "Ah, well, it's over now," he said. "Tomorrow is another day."

It damn well better be.


Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear about your Murphy's Law Kills Day (MLK).

As a suggestion for the future...since your brother is nearby you should make a full set of all your keys for him to keep in case of a situation like this.

Anonymous said...

Hope this makes you feel better.

Bad Day

Anonymous said...

Just like the movie Click!

Adam Lasnik said...

I can't tell you how many parking tickets I've gotten because:
- it was a holiday and I happened to park in exactly the wrong spot
- I was sick and decided to sleep in

My fav ticket, though, is $100 for parking in my driveway. Apparently a tiny quarter inch or so of my bumper was extended out too far into the sidewalk, so I was cited as "blocking pedestrians." Jerks.

Anonymous said...

I always leave my keys in my car.

Under the front seat.

I use the keypad entry to get back in.

This way I bever lose them.

And if it is ever stolen who cares They broke in to do it and probably would have stolen it anyway.

Anonymous said...

The ticket that got me (2 times) is when it is Tuesday night and says no parking Wednesday at 12:00 am...

Well... Tuesday night at midnight is ticket time... Ahhhhhh

The city recently changes some of them to say 12:01 am and it makes you rethink what you are doing.

Hasan said...

Or leave the spare set in the locked drawer at work?

Anonymous said...

"Or leave the spare set in the locked drawer at work?"

As long as the key to said drawer and ID to get into work is not on the same keychain! ;-)

David said...

Few days ago I had a stupid situation. I finally got a locksmith to come over and get the lock open. It turns out the keys the previous owner gave me, the key that was supposed to open that particular lock didn't match. The locksmith said it was difinitely the wrong key. I took a closer look at the door and it was a little cracked on the side plus the locksmith said the lock wasn't of the same series as the other locks in the apartment. The rest of the locks in the apartment was silver color while the odd one out without the key was gold in color. I think what most likely happened was the tenant of the previous owner, at one time or another, probably got himself locked out of the room and broke the lock, hence the damaged door side. After that, the guy replaced it with an identical lock... only he forgot to return the new key to the previous owner. That so pissed me of. I spend a few hours trying to get the lock open. I even sprayed it full of WD-40 to lubricate it. Damn it. I think I'm going to make a bonfire with all the previous tenant's old mail.