Nannies and gigolos.

[driving to the city to have dinner with my coworkers]

Me: "Why do you suppose my coworker Sandra puts up with so much crap in her relationship?"

Stella: "Because she's getting older. As you get older, it becomes harder to find a decent guy."

Me: "Even if that's true, it's no reason to stay in an unhappy relationship."

Stella: "How old are you?"

Me: "26."

Stella: "Okay, what are you going to do if you get to your 30s and you're not married?"

Me: "Not get married."

Stella: "What about kids?"

Me: "I'll still have them. At 34, if I'm not married, I'm going to get artificially inseminated. Meanwhile I'll focus all my time on making money, and then I'll use the money to hire nannies and gigolos."