Saturday, May 12, 2007

pig dream could turn to reality

Today in our cubicle pen, we got to talking about my desire to own a pig.

Long-time blog readers will remember my love for pigs ("Piggy") and concern over how large they get ("Show Me the Pig").

As we were standing around, I rehashed the same sad story that potbellied pigs grow to be 60 to 175 pounds, and I want a pet that I can carry around.

A coworker then pointed me toward Royal Dandies, a new breed of miniature pot bellied pigs!



From their web page:

Royal Dandies are a product of a 21 year breeding program.

We have combined small, intelligent and affectionate miniature pigs to create a consistently small pet pig with good confirmation.

Dandies average from 20 lbs. to 65 lbs.


I got very excited, as I read through the web page. When I got to the section about how they just released a new litter May 11, 2007, I exclaimed, "Oh my God, they have a new litter as of today! I could put down a $400 deposit and buy a pig right now! Should I do it?"

"That is the weirdest impulse buy I've ever heard of," said my coworker.

...

Buying a pig from these breeders costs $1500. If I bought the pig, I would drive to Oregon to pick it up. They offer the option of flying my pig to me on Alaska Airlines for $400, but driving would be both cheaper and a symbolic journey of crossing the California plains to meet MY pig.

Imagine it. I could do it today! On Monday I could carry little Oinksy into work, a pink piglet wrapped in a baby blanket.

"Team," I'd say, "I'd like you to meet Oinksy."

Oinksy would sniffle and make soft honking noises.

I would make a nest for Oinksy out of newspapers and blankets, adjacent to my desk. Oinksy would nap, bathed in sunlight from the nearby window, while I typed away at my computer.

Unfortunately Dan says Google's pet policy clearly states Dogs Only. "A pig is better than a dog!" I protested. He claims Google is a dog company. No cats either, even though cats are quieter than dogs.

In the evening, I would take Oinksy to the dog park. Other people would be walking their German shepherds and Golden retrievers, and I'd be walking my pig. I'd have him on a leash.

A friend would call me, and I'd say, "Just a minute. I'm walking my pig." Then I'd get the joy of hearing their reaction. "Your -- I thought you said -- What did you say you're doing?"

...

Now that the idea of owning a pig could be reality, I am growing worried. What if the pig isn't smart? I imagined the pig as a brilliant little companion. It would greet me with joy as I came home from work, with an intelligent appreciation rather than the blind loyalty of dogs. The pig and I would sleep side by side, walk together side by side, over-eat side by side.

But what if the pig is poker-faced? What if it just stands there, only occasionally shifting its hooves (scratching my hardwood floors in the process)? What if its only movement consists of bending its head to eat the feed I give it? I would grow to resent the mute beast, while still feeling the obligation to feed it and house it.

Yes, I know I could just eat it if that happens. But I'm not going to turn my $1500 pig into ham sandwiches.

What if the pig is perfectly smart and adorable, but gets lonely at home while I'm working long hours? Poor Oinksy would move from room to room, sadly poking pillows with his little snout, missing me.

And what, oh, what happens if Oinksy dies?

I should look up the life span of potbellied pigs. Googling...

Oh.

:(

Pot-bellied pig info page:

Plus, other breeders may tell you that their pigs are a 'special' line or 'special' breed. Here is a tip for you: ALL pot belly pigs in North America and Hawaii come from the same line. Period!!


Perhaps the dream is too good to be true.

Or perhaps I should just get a regular-sized potbellied pig! They say a 100-pound pig is only the size of a 35-pound dog, because the pig is more compact.


A happy pig owner.

23 comments:

emulefr said...

You could buy a plastic pig, it less expensive ;)

I have one gold near my desk ;)

(It's the year of gold pig)

Anonymous said...

allexperts had this to say about the breed:

There are few healthy, full size adult pigs under 75 lb. Lana from Pigs As Pet Association has experience with Royal Dandies, she can provide you with more information about those particular pigs than I can. Her email is PAPA@pigsaspets.org
The website is www.pigsaspets.org

I wish you luck in your quest for the perfect pet!

Funny Asian Male from Facebook ; ) said...

So, this is my position on girls with animals. At the risk of offending any girls here. Every girl that I have ever met who owns a cat and lives alone is usually a little bit on the weird side.

Now that I think about it, it doesn't say much about me if I have met many of these girls.

But anyway, back to the main topic...girls with doggies are normal..girls with cats not normal...so if these little pigs become popular..how would i categorize them..let me think. I got it!

Girls who buy these pigs love blogging and hate asian men:)

:D

One last thing, why buy a pig? Find a pot bellied boyfriend. He can easily weight 175lbs, but he can manage himself and most likely, if you choose one with good blood lines, take care of pooping and feeing by himself.

Niniane said...

> Find a pot bellied boyfriend.

To quote Monica from the show Friends:

"Oh my God! You don't know me at all!"

Clearly I need to write more posts about my ab fetish.

Then I can look forward to more comments like one of my all-time favorites:

"This is one of the most shallowist blogs I've ever read. I can't get enough. It's even on my Google home page as a feed."

funny asian male from facebook said...

You realize that many girls are fascinated with changing their men. So you can take full credit if he went from potbelly pig to six pack stud.

You could take him into your home and starve him. Chinese males have good genes...we don't have bulk...so if you starve us a few weeks six packs will come flying out.

Anonymous said...

This post confused me.

Day said...

You are a freak..

I love you more everyday..

Anonymous said...

N,

只要你願意每天照顧一頭幾百磅而大部份時間都扒在地上的寵物就可以去實現你的豬年夢了。

-J

Programmeuse said...

I confess to having a pet chicken when I was very little. Not knowing what to do with it I put it on a leash (a simple string) and went outside. People passing by were quite shocked at the sight. I had quite a few comments. Sadly my mother decided that the chicken would have a better home in the village.

Anonymous said...

Every girl that I have ever met who owns a cat and lives alone is usually a little bit on the weird side.

Cats carry brain parasites (toxoplasma) that modify behaviour in infected humans.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toxoplasmosis

But they haven't got me. Oh no. I'm sane.

Anonymous said...

Do you know anybody with a pig? Can you be introduced to one? I'm sure some pig enthusiast would love to let you romp with her pig for an afternoon. Seriously, what people on the web call "adorable" you may just call "dumb." You should really get to know some actual pig before you think about getting one.

Anonymous said...

Make char siu out of it. Yumm

Anonymous said...

Niniane!

I have a suggestion of how to not have a pig but still have something cute and fat following you around. Just date someone plump.

Sandra said...

Niniane, I too share your dream of wanting a pet pig, but a small one. I have heard of the Royal Dandies and have also met some of what are being called mini potbellies here in Pennsylvania. My husband and I have wanted a pig for a very long time but our borough won't allow it.
I hope you can find a nice pig to be your friend soon!

Duckybutt said...

Hi we are looking for a pig leash/harness and we saw you had one, can you somehow tell us how you got it?

tracie said...

OMG!!!!!!!!!!
that is the COOLEST little pig ever!! and hes like the soooooooo
CUTE =]

Anonymous said...

We have had miniature pigs for almost 20 years, and people need to do their homework.
Unfortunately, there is no tiny ADULT miniature pig. What you are looking at is babies on most websites...adults are not shown.
That is because they grow for four years (or more).
I truly wish there WAS such a thing as a 25# pig, because we educate and perform across the country with them! My back would not be as sore :)
Breeders will not always be honest about the size, because the pigs pretty much "crashed" as desirable house pets when people found out the average size is about 150#.
Please visit our site at valentinesperformingpigs.com
Or join our listserver by contacting me (nelliestar@aol.com.)
We have 500 pig owners on it who love to educate....
Priscilla Valentine

Anonymous said...

You're dreaming if you think your pig will sit quietly near your desk/bath in the sun while you type away. Do your homework dear. Pigs of any breed are some of the most curious animals in the world. You'll be lucky if you can get 5 minutes of peace. After owning over 40 pigs throughout my time involved in pig rescue, i've learned that they're a full time job. Stick to a dog for now and look into a pig when you're a bit more of a realistic thinker.

Anonymous said...

I am trying to buy a pig in Taiwan. Can somebody tell me where?

Anonymous said...

You could get ducks instead, they need less room, make you smile and laugh, come running to greet you and give you eggs! You should google Indian Runner ducks they are interesting and really neat animals!

Anonymous said...

Ok! I trust you to look up pigs coz it sounds like your just gonna treat it like a little toy! Pigs like mud and wide open space! I am sure it would disaprove of you carrying it (but walkings good) alsoyou need to buy 2-they get lonley when your gone.

JeffDaChef said...

Are there any small breeds of pigs that aren't pot bellied?

yen said...

Aside from being cute, pet pigs
are trainable too.
www.potbellypigsecrets.com