Friday, September 27, 2013

what percentage of the world feels secure?

Last weekend I went on a 3-day trip with 12 people, as a bridal weekend in celebration of L's upcoming wedding.  I finally figured out why it felt so cozy.

All of the people there wanted to make everyone else feel good.  No one was trying to establish their own superiority by cutting down someone else.  No one was sizing up others, thinking, "Am I better than them, or are they better than me?"  No one was silently judging others, and revealing it through subconscious cues.

It was really remarkable.

What was also remarkable is that it took me several days to figure this out.  You'd think I would notice right away.  But I am so desensitized to the dominance games that I barely notice them, or their absence.

I wonder what percentage of the world is secure like L's friends, and what percentage play dominance games.  Is the world predominantly secure, and I just happen to have met many competitive people because they congregate to the Valley, or because I have been oblivious and ended up accumulating acquaintances like this?

Or is the world predominantly feeling insecure, and L's friends are just exception?  

2 comments:

InWantOfBeingMe said...

Hmm, interesting post, which I have been pondering over a lot recently.

While at Uni, there was so much love, among-st friends, there used to be that occasional competition for grades, sport or over the pretty girl.

Now 10 years later, people have different reached different places in their careers and in life, and although there is friendship, it is very different today. There is this judging, sizing up, whose done better.

and to think about it, I think people are judging, forming an opinion, constantly weighing, consciously or subconsciously.

Possibilities in Ls's friends cases are,

Type 1. They are really like that! They are accomplished nice and secure people!
Type 2. They are naturally like that, but are subconsciously doing the judging.
Type 3. They are like a well-oiled machine to put it very well with all that experience by now.

Type 1 people are sparse in the world. But I do come across these people now and then :)

Gong said...

How can I get to know L's friend :)