Church in Mexico City

Photos from a nice church in Mexico City. My parents had low expectations of Mexico City -- they expected rampant poverty and no tourist attractions. Actually there are many palaces and museums! Also churches.

Mexico City: good on culture, bad at marketing.

Pi Day!

Homemade chocolate pie from our Tech Ops manager at 3/14 1:59!

The Minted engineering team is so fun! Today I wondered aloud whether the team is objectively hilarious or whether I find them funnier because I am so fond of them. My theory is 80% objectively, 20% due to bias!

fruity drinks in Shanghai

Watermelon / mango juice with sago!  We ate at a cafe called Bellagio.  They insist that all of their waitresses must cut their hand into a pixie haircut.  It looks very androgynous to me.  What an extreme request to make of your waitstaff!

fresh air

While doing strength exercises in a buddy personal training session.

Nam: "Do you want to take a spinning class with me?"

Me: "No."

Nam: "But I thought you like biking."

Me: "Biking outside is fun.  Biking indoors in a class is painful.  It's like how I always want to go jogging at Crissy Field with you.  But have you seen me on a treadmill?"

Nam: "No."

Me: "If you see me on a treadmill...  it's not me.  It's some other Asian person, and you're being racist."

in shanghai

Having a drink on the 87th floor of Jingmao building!

Kitchen on Fire! cooking class

I started a 12-week cooking class at Kitchen on Fire in Berkeley.

The space is light-filled, and there are about 25 students in the class.  The teacher MikeC is hilarious!  At one point, he talked about how if you don't do the mis en place (preparation) properly, you will end up making a big mess in the kitchen. Then you will look around and say, "Who the hell did this?"

He paused significantly, and then said solemnly, "It was you!"

I laughed so much.

In our first class, I learned how to hold the knife properly, and how to chop vegetables into consistent thickness.  After the class, I went home and cut two potatoes for stir fry.  It actually went much faster.  I remember asking my friend to slice two potatoes during college, and it took 30 minutes.

We chopped all of these vegetables.  My next class will be Searing, Frying, and Confit.  Excited!!

If you feel inspired, the school regularly runs 12-week cooking classes. If you are my friend and also enjoy cooking, let's cook together sometime!

I'm deciding whether to also get the Kitchen on Fire book. I usually get all my recipes online, but this book also has a lot of step-by-step photos.

I'm looking forward to learning to make stews, quick breads, and roasting.  I already do these things, but not very expertly.

regular customers are good

Our QA Automation Engineer Tarum's favorite television show is the Kardashian reality program.

Tarum: "I want Kim Kardashian to shop on Minted."

JP: "She can be a regular shopper for our wedding items."

traveling pants

I just watched "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants".

 I got it from netflix weeks ago, but procrastinated watching it because I thought it would be a teen flick about the high school heartbreak of 17-year-olds. I didn't think I would identify at all with the characters. They'd probably be crying because they had the wrong color prom dress, and thank God for the pants to cheer them up from their first-world problems.
 

 I was so wrong. In the very first scene, one of the girls is 8 years old, and watches her dad move out of the house at night with suitcases. She calls her friend Lena, crying, and her friend comforts her, saying "It'll be okay. I'll come over first thing in the morning."

OMG! Why didn't I have friends like that when I was 8 years old!!!

The movie was about teenager heartbreak, yes. But it was the heartbreak of not seeing your dad often enough and not being able to tell this to him, because that would be unpleasant and he might pull away even more. Or the heartbreak of denying your sadness over the loss of a loved one because it would be overwhelming, and finally being forced to confront it.

Success = results - expectations, and this movie has greatly surpassed my expectations!

It does seem really unbelievable that the same jeans would fit Blake Lively and America Ferrara. One of them is 7 inches taller than the other!



Just ordered the sequel on netflix.

Rise and fall

Watching startups can be intriguing because fortunes change so quickly. Last year's mega hotness is this year's passé memento. Cocky founders of yesteryear, who smugly lorded it over all, are today's nervous ones who maintain that everything is just fine, really it is.

It is amazing how different the landscape can be after a year. I wonder what will have changed a year from now, which current kings will be dethroned and forgotten, and which newcomers lifted to the skies in worship.

Jogging

All my life, I detested jogging. I would see people out running along the Embarcadero, and it boggled my mind. How can they do this painful thing every day?

Then Nike would have advertisements implying that people weren't just gritting their teeth forcing one foot after the other, but they actually ENJOYED it.

I figured it is a strange inexplicable phenomenon. "Runners high" was an oxymoron to me.

But then Nm (work colleague) explained that it is like getting into the flow state, like how programmers enter the Zone. Music helps, she explained.

Suddenly it was in language I could understand! I thought back to the only two times I have ever enjoyed running: the Palo Alto Moonlight Run. Nm helped me decipher the critical components:

- one clear running path with no confusion where to go, no stopping for red lights or cars

- beautiful natural scenery

- listening to good music

So we put those three components together, and jogged along Crissy Field.

OMG it is a different world.

I got home and immediately texted her asking when we could go again. As soon as she responded, I set up calendar requests for the next two Sundays. I was actually counting down the days to it.

Today she is sick, and it is pouring rain outside, and I am still debating whether to go do a short jog myself.

Thank you Apple, MOG, and Sam Francisco for making the 3 elements feasible.

I wish they taught in school how to make jogging enjoyable.

I am going to buy nice running shoes next, and fancy jogging clothes instead of using free t-shirts. Excited! Power over 9000!

Pie!

Cooking is surprisingly enjoyable. I am shocked at how happy it makes me.

Is it because I feel more in-control of what I eat, and people feel happier when they have more control? Or do I enter a flow state when cooking? Is it because I am in the steep part of the learning curve and am improving noticeably?

Tonight I rolled my own pie dough and baked a sweet potato pie. I am delighted with how it turned out, though a true baker would likely find my crust too grainy. I made it a half whole wheat crust.

This time I followed the recipe and it tastes very sugary to me. I can't wait to make it again and use just a bit of organic maple syrup in place of sugar.

The crust has 8 tablespoons of butter. Wonder how I could make that healthier.

Gratitude day 30

I have been procrastinating writing the last day of gratitude because I have enjoyed the process and don't want to end it.

Today I went for a mini-hike with a group to the Dipsea Trail. I am grateful at how beautiful San Francisco is, with the nearby ocean and trees. You can do hikes in January in a T-shirt, surrounded by breathtaking views.

Korean culture

I really like Korean culture. I could imagine living in Korea. There are a couple things I especially liked: 1. There is emphasis around family, rather than individual glory and materialism. We watched a Korean movie that happened to be playing on television:

We could not actually understand any of the dialogue, but still watched it in rapt attention. It is about five athletes who attempt to qualify the Korean team for Olympic ski jumping.

One is doing it to win an apartment for his biological mother who gave him up for adoption as a child. Another is doing it to support his new baby. A third is doing it to get out of mandatory military service, so that he can stay home to take care of his grandmother and autistic brother. The fourth is doing it to win the heart of a girl.

2.

There is no tradition of tipping in Korea, for cabs, waiters, or service people. Yet the service was far superior to what I experience in the US. We took cabs three times, and twice, the cab driver got out of his car at the end and walked several minutes with us to find our destination. The third time, the cab driver pointed and made sure that we knew where we were going.

Similarly, waitresses were attentive, and came over to refill our kimchi continually. There is no tip, but they wanted to do it, because they actually care about doing a good job.

ass water

I started drinking tap water again, after survival school. Once I got used to drinking cloudy water where flies had been landing, tap water seems perfectly fine.

I am excited about the solo & sheep parts of survival school, but am concerned that this year's survival school will have almost exclusively men, who will not want to talk about their feelings. I will want to talk about my feelings, and I'm afraid I will be thwarted if the others don't.

Gratitude day 29

I am not in a grateful mood right now. In fact I am in a rather uncomplacent mood because I read some news that makes me envious. But I guess that is the benefit of this exercise -- to force me to write this.

Today I am grateful that my brother rode the Caltrain for over an hour to come to my work holiday party. He got to the Caltrain station early and walked a mile to buy a white elephant gift for the party. He bought gourmet chocolates and as a joke, put them into a giant Victoria's Secret box to embarrass the person who picked the gift. He also bought me a gift card when he was there.

(Ok this is already working. I feel more appreciative and happier, and slightly sheepish for being grumpy over my first world pains.)

Then Tom walked a mile back and sat at the Caltrain station waiting for me to pick him up. It took me longer than expected to walk home and drive over, and he waited patiently. When I got there, he had been sitting outdoors in the cold, holding a giant Victoria's Secret box, for an hour. I was super stressed because my top New Year's resolution is to be more considerate in everyday things. I could barely meet his gaze. But he was super empathetic and said it was okay and that he knew I would be stressed for this exact reason and it was fine.

I always say that I have the best brother in the world, and now you know 0.0000000001% of the reason why.

Wow, this exercise really works.

Gratitude day 28

I had a heart to heart conversation with my brother on the flight home. I apologized for giving him a fear of heights by teasing him that I would throw him over a railing at Carlsbad Caverns when I was 10 and he was 2, and for tickling him a lot. He gave me thoughtful replies that were kind.

I also read a good book from Gandhi's relative who learned from him: "Nonviolent Communication". It describes with many examples how to talk about emotional topics without making the other party defensive.

gratitude day 27

In Seoul, we ate twice at mall food courts. My brother chose them because they have plastic molds of the food dishes with clearly displayed prices.

We took a boat to Jeju Island.

On the ferry return trip, we shared a small room with bunk beds. There was a bare section of the room where you could sit on the floor and watch television.

My dad took out a few oranges and bread rolls that we purchased at a convenience store, and set them on the windowsill of the room. Then he said, "This is our food court."

We sat on the floor and watched a korean reality tv show about an extreme makeover that took 53 weeks and included a bunch of plastic surgery. My brother claims that over 50% of young Korean women have had some form of plastic surgery!

My mom said, "This room is nice! Here's our living room. [gesturing toward tiny space where we all sat on the floor] And our bedroom. [gesturing toward bunk beds]"

I was very grateful that my parents enjoyed the trip and made it fun.

Gratitude day 26: parents

Today I had a 2-hour conversation with parents about their struggles when I was growing up. They talked about the decision process behind various choices (immigrating on self-paid student visa to US, moving to New Mexico, my mom working all the tough jobs that she did).

We have talked about it previously but today covered different aspects.

Afterwards I felt like a more complete person, with better understanding of where I come from. It was such a vivid sense of well-being that I forced myself to be more alert crossing the street to avoid being run over in my distracted state.

Grateful for this conversation, a highlight of 2011.

Halfway support

I was talking to my brother yesterday about two friends, Portia and Josephine (names changed), who have both been housewives / stay-at-home moms for many years. Portia is very confident and talks about being the star of their family, whereas Josephine voices identity loss from giving up her career and mourns buried dreams. Both women have similar backgrounds. I was wondering how a similar situation has produced two widely differing levels of satisfaction and confidence.

Tom said that it is probably in large part due to the husband's behavior. Some people really value their home, so they would perceive a spouse who handles chores and home remodeling as adding a lot of value. Others don't value it as much, so they would perceive their spouse as not adding value to their lives.

He also said that Portia's husband probably encourages her more.

I said, "But Josephine's husband is always talking about how much he respects her and wants her to pursue her dream."

"It's different to support someone by saying 'i found a community college class you can take' versus 'I will work fewer hours and move to the city where you have more connections in your field, so you can follow your dream'."

I thought that was a good point. When I thought about the cases, I could see it. I can imagine Portia's husband moving to a new city to help her pick up her career, whereas it is harder to imagine it for Josephine's husband, despite how loudly he praises her abilities. He talks the talk but won't walk the walk.

Then I was thinking about the effects if someone claims they support you but won't put full action behind the words: "halfway support".

I have experienced this long ago, when two male friends / former romantic interests were very enthusiastic to help me when they perceived me as being in a less successful position than themselves. They would drive over to my house and spend hours helping me analyze career options and prepare for interviews. (This was many years apart, not both people at the same time!) In both cases, as the months went on, they learned new facts that revealed my job was more impactful than they thought, and potentially more successful than their own job. Suddenly they were making skeptical comments and sulking. It is a different variant of halfway support: "I support you unless you surpass me."

In both cases, I never actually entered into a relationship with the people, partly because I sensed the lack of full support. Actually having a relationship with them would have been a disaster. But I stayed friends and continued talking to them for years. I wonder now if even being friends with someone who does not fully support you is a waste of time. There is so little time and so many wonderful people in the world. Why not focus on the ones who fully support you?

I wonder how much of the "halfway support" is due to a person's natural disposition toward being competitive. My theory is that if a person is born noncompetitive, then they can easily be fully supportive. If a person is born very competitive, then their level of support depends on how happy they are with their own life, and how much they consciously train their mind to quell the competitive urges. If you are a competitive person, leave a blog comment with what contributes to your jealousy level versus ability to truly be supportive.

In the meantime, I think I will stop spending time with the partly-supportive friends in my life.

The next question is whether making harshly negative comments about most other people is a sign of insecurity and a red flag that the person is competitive and cannot be fully supportive. I have friends who voice negative thoughts on the vast majority (like 98%) of products, startups, and company founders. Toward me, they are thoughtful and encouraging. But I wonder if it is still a sign that if I ventured outside their narrow expectations, they would reduce their support of me down to halfway support too?

Gratitude day 25: food and lack of rumination

Tom booked us on a food tour yesterday. It was $80 per person but surprisingly my parents loved it and did not find it too pricey.

We ate at four different restaurants. The tour guide forgot our names and referred to us all night as Tom, Tom's sister, Tom's mom, Tom's dad. My brother was delighted. "That's how I think of our family," he said.

I have been able to avoid ruminating when my brother voices disagreements with some of my life choices. It is liberating to really be happy.