(Edited. Note this conversation is from 2005.)
With my coworkers. We're having a conversation about bonds and stocks.
Jordan: [explaining how raising interest rates depreciates the bond market]
Kevin: I'm very risk-averse.
Jordan: Would you ever lend someone money? Say they'd pay you interest. But there's a chance they could go bankrupt.
Nadim: Say I needed money.
Kevin: Well, I would lend you money, Nadim, because we're friends. But not for financial reasons. It'd be because helping my friends makes me happy, and that's the purpose of life -- happiness.
Jordan: [shocked that conversation has suddenly become so philosophical]
me: [delightedthat conversation has suddenly become so philosophical] But is happiness really the metric that you're trying to monetize? Let's say you could be ignorant and happy. Most people wouldn't choose that. They'd rather have more knowledge, even if it makes them less happy. So what is that elusive metric that we're really optimizing? ... Let's say you love someone, and then they die. You'll be really sad, but many people would prefer that to not having known the person, even if they would've been happier that way.
Kevin: You were happy before they died, so the integral over all time is still positive.
me: But maybe not as positive as if you'd spent that time doing something else that made you happier.
[more discussion]
me: I'm happy we're discussing this. I think about this once a month or so, and I can never come up with the metric. It would make life so much easier, if you had one metric to optimize for.
Jordan: When slashdot introduced the karma rating, all the users began madly to try to make that number go up. So I can imagine if people had a life rating, they'd all work on making that number as high as possible.
Kevin: Instead of PageRank, we'll have LifeRank.
Nadim: [solemnly] I know what my metric is. It's money.
me: [laughing]
Nadim: No, I'm serious.
Jordan: [to me] So all that time you spent considering the metric and debating what it is, he already has it figured out!
Kevin: [laughing] And he doesn't even need to calculate it himself! Someone else computes it for him!
me: [to Nadim] But you don't go around buying fancy cars or clothes!
Nadim: I don't spend the money. I'm a miser. You know DuckTales? I identify with that character, who's-it, Scrooge MacDuck.
Thursday, May 26, 2005
Friday, May 13, 2005
Tom.
me: Tom, who wears the pants in your relationship?
Tom: She does. She has the pants and the belt.
Peter: Oh no! At least get the belt back.
Tom: Why, to hold up my non-existent pants?
Tom: She does. She has the pants and the belt.
Peter: Oh no! At least get the belt back.
Tom: Why, to hold up my non-existent pants?
Saturday, May 07, 2005
Pruning.
I started to prune my roses today. Peter kept me company, working outside on the black wrought table and chair, while I was pruning.
Halfway through pruning, with a heap of discarded branches at my feet, I decided that I would use Google to actually read about pruning, as opposed to just going by the seat of my pants and cutting off branches that got in the way or were shaped too strangely.
What are canes? And the buds are at the ends of the branches, so how can I cut above them?!
A little too late!
Hm, what if all the other plants you have other than rose bushes are weeds??
Then I read this wonderful article that began:
The whole job is indeed much easier! Thank you "Nanette Londeree"! (That's an odd name. Though she would probably think my name is odd as well.)
Halfway through pruning, with a heap of discarded branches at my feet, I decided that I would use Google to actually read about pruning, as opposed to just going by the seat of my pants and cutting off branches that got in the way or were shaped too strangely.
"bring the remaining canes to at least half height being certain to
make your cuts above an outward facing bud on the canes"
What are canes? And the buds are at the ends of the branches, so how can I cut above them?!
"Make your cuts at a 45-degree angle"
A little too late!
"Most rose pruning is done in the spring, with the blooming of the
forsythia as a signal to get moving."
Hm, what if all the other plants you have other than rose bushes are weeds??
Then I read this wonderful article that began:
PRUNING ROSES 101
by Nanette Londeree, Consulting Rosarian
There seems to be a lot of mystery surrounding rose pruning, as well as lots of
"rules" to follow in order to do it correctly. If I have learned anything over the
last decade of pruning hundreds of roses, it is that roses are very forgiving. If
you cut too high, too low, at an inward facing bud rather than an outward facing
one, in the long run, it really will not make a lot of difference. If the resulting
growth does not grow in the fashion or direction you desire, cut it again to correct
it. Once you realize that there is not too much one can do wrong, it makes the whole
job much easier.
The whole job is indeed much easier! Thank you "Nanette Londeree"! (That's an odd name. Though she would probably think my name is odd as well.)
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
Funny moments of my job.
Today we get a report that this email:
> Date: May 3, 2005 5:03 PM
> Subject: Running late
>
> Be there for the meeting as soon as I can.
triggers the following Gmail ad:
> Pain During Intercourse? - www.EndoKnow.com - Get a Customized
> Discussion Guide. Summary of Symptoms & More - Free!
I laughed out loud 4 times over this.
> Date: May 3, 2005 5:03 PM
> Subject: Running late
>
> Be there for the meeting as soon as I can.
triggers the following Gmail ad:
> Pain During Intercourse? - www.EndoKnow.com - Get a Customized
> Discussion Guide. Summary of Symptoms & More - Free!
I laughed out loud 4 times over this.
Thursday, April 21, 2005
Public perception
me: [reading a press article praising my team's accidental feature leak as a brilliant strategy for trickling out the word slowly] They called us "marketing geniuses".
J: [laughing] Yeah, I saw that.
me: This is because we work at Google. If we were Microsoft, they would've called it "another evil ploy to maintain their monopoly."
J: [laughing] Yeah, I saw that.
me: This is because we work at Google. If we were Microsoft, they would've called it "another evil ploy to maintain their monopoly."
Sunday, April 17, 2005
A passage I like.
From Shanidar, a story about a man who was a rich noble in a futuristic alien world but who decided to abandon his wealth and live with neanderthal cavemen:
"And Goshevan?" he asked. "He was happy with the beautiful Lara? He
was happy, wasn't he?"
"He was happy," I said, trying to slip my old hand from the young
man's grip. "He was so happy he came to regard his body lice as his
'little pets' and didn't care that he would have to pass the rest of
his days without a bath. His stuttering, which had embarrassed him all
his life and caused him great shame, came to a sudden end as he found
the liquid vowels and smooth consonants of the Devaki language rolling
easily off his tongue. He loved Lara's children as his own and loved
Lara as only a desperate and romantic man can love a woman. Though she
had none of the exotic skills of the courtesans with whom he had been
so familiar, she loved him with such a strength and passion that he
came to divide his life into two parts: the time before Lara, which
was murky and dim and full of confused memories, and the time after,
which was full of light and joy and laughter. So it happened that
when, the following midwinter spring, she pointed to her belly and
smiled, he knew with a sureness that he had not spent his life in vain
and was as happy as a man could be.
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Phone call with my little brother
me: "So I hear that Mom is advising you every day to dump your girlfriend."
Tom: "Yeah."
me: "Aha, now you are in the situation I was in! Well, still in. Dad is against my relationship, and Mom is against yours."
Tom: "Yeah, maybe we should swap."
me: (incredulously) "You want Dad to be against your relationship?"
Tom: "No, you date Eileen, and I'll date Simon. Then our parents will say, "Aiya! Swap back! It was better before!'"
me: [laughing]
Tom: "But Eileen might say, 'I don't want to swap! I like this way better.'"
Tom: "Yeah."
me: "Aha, now you are in the situation I was in! Well, still in. Dad is against my relationship, and Mom is against yours."
Tom: "Yeah, maybe we should swap."
me: (incredulously) "You want Dad to be against your relationship?"
Tom: "No, you date Eileen, and I'll date Simon. Then our parents will say, "Aiya! Swap back! It was better before!'"
me: [laughing]
Tom: "But Eileen might say, 'I don't want to swap! I like this way better.'"
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
Angry at self.
I am once again taking my body for granted and not sleeping enough. It's 3:45am and I'm working. I'm going to sleep 5 hours and then be incredibly tired and less productive tomorrow. What am I doing?
Friday, March 18, 2005
Biased?
In China, this January, in a cab with my entire family. I'm due to fly out the next morning at noon.
My mom, lamenting: We only have one more day together!
Tom: Hey!!!! I'm leaving in 3 days! You only care about Niniane. If she were leaving next week and I was leaving tomorrow, you'd say, 'We only have one more week together!' and then, 'Oh yeah, we have to take Tom to the airport tomorrow. That child is so much hassle.'
My mom, lamenting: We only have one more day together!
Tom: Hey!!!! I'm leaving in 3 days! You only care about Niniane. If she were leaving next week and I was leaving tomorrow, you'd say, 'We only have one more week together!' and then, 'Oh yeah, we have to take Tom to the airport tomorrow. That child is so much hassle.'
Tonight.
A lot of conversations tonight. I'm still at work and it's 1:30am! But it's not due to working late. It's due to staying and chatting with people.
...
Best moment of the night.
Tao: I had this coworker at Infineon who was so good at meeting women. He was an Indian guy, kind of short. He could meet someone and strike up a conversation in 2 minutes. We would go to Subway, and I'd be standing in line and turn around, and he'd be talking to some lady at a table and exchanging cell phone numbers.
Sam: What's that guy up to now?
Tao: Oh, he's still working at Infineon.
...
On phone with Tom.
Tom: This is like you saying to me, 'Tom, I wish I'd known about these steamed buns 2 years ago! I would've eaten so many!' and me saying, 'Niniane, maybe you would've eaten so many that you would get sick of them by now.' and then you would say, 'No! I would've eaten one every day, and I would've eaten 365 more steamed buns!!'
me: [laughing]
Tom: It's like Picard. "I wish I didn't have a fake heart. I'm going to change it. Oh crap, I'm no longer a captain. I better get shot in the heart with a phaser."
me: [still laughing] He was stabbed through the heart with a spear! It wasn't a phaser!
Tom: No, at first he was shot with a phaser, but at the end he was stabbed with the spear.
...
Tom: So I don't understand why she gets so stressed out.
me: When people care too much about something, then they stress out and they procrastinate! You never get that worked up about things. Well, very few things. Like, if you didn't leave enough time for studying for your final, you would just calmly decide, 'Ok, I need 8 hours and I only have 6. I'll just study the 6/8 most important things.' You wouldn't kick yourself for it, and you wouldn't feel bad. You'd just do it and move on. But people that really care about everything, they feel bad and regret, and it feels so awful that next time, they purposefully procrastinate.
Tom: Yeah, I guess I just don't get that worked up about anything.
...
...
Best moment of the night.
Tao: I had this coworker at Infineon who was so good at meeting women. He was an Indian guy, kind of short. He could meet someone and strike up a conversation in 2 minutes. We would go to Subway, and I'd be standing in line and turn around, and he'd be talking to some lady at a table and exchanging cell phone numbers.
Sam: What's that guy up to now?
Tao: Oh, he's still working at Infineon.
...
On phone with Tom.
Tom: This is like you saying to me, 'Tom, I wish I'd known about these steamed buns 2 years ago! I would've eaten so many!' and me saying, 'Niniane, maybe you would've eaten so many that you would get sick of them by now.' and then you would say, 'No! I would've eaten one every day, and I would've eaten 365 more steamed buns!!'
me: [laughing]
Tom: It's like Picard. "I wish I didn't have a fake heart. I'm going to change it. Oh crap, I'm no longer a captain. I better get shot in the heart with a phaser."
me: [still laughing] He was stabbed through the heart with a spear! It wasn't a phaser!
Tom: No, at first he was shot with a phaser, but at the end he was stabbed with the spear.
...
Tom: So I don't understand why she gets so stressed out.
me: When people care too much about something, then they stress out and they procrastinate! You never get that worked up about things. Well, very few things. Like, if you didn't leave enough time for studying for your final, you would just calmly decide, 'Ok, I need 8 hours and I only have 6. I'll just study the 6/8 most important things.' You wouldn't kick yourself for it, and you wouldn't feel bad. You'd just do it and move on. But people that really care about everything, they feel bad and regret, and it feels so awful that next time, they purposefully procrastinate.
Tom: Yeah, I guess I just don't get that worked up about anything.
...
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
Little miss muffet
Apparently all spiders in the US are harmless except for black widows and brown recluses. How can you tell whether a spider is a brown recluse? Apparently there is a small violin-shaped mark on the back of the spider. So when you feel a sharp pain and realize that you are being bitten by a spider, allow it to continue so that you can calmly examine its back for violin-shaped marks.
Alas, I did not perform this inspection.
While doing this research on Google Images, I encountered one of the most disgusting images I have ever seen. This rivals the time that Dan had a cyst removed from his arm and showed us digital pics of the gaping wound. Here it is: disgusting spider pic.
Alas, I did not perform this inspection.
While doing this research on Google Images, I encountered one of the most disgusting images I have ever seen. This rivals the time that Dan had a cyst removed from his arm and showed us digital pics of the gaping wound. Here it is: disgusting spider pic.
Spider.
I just got bitten by a spider, for the first time in my life.
I was sitting in my cubicle, working, and my wrist suddenly experienced a sharp jabbing pain. I looked down and there was a light brown spider about the size of a nickel, on my wrist. I flicked it away and it scrambled off (but is still alive and in the proximity of my cube!).
Now my wrist is throbbing and there is an expanding red circle around the bite. I am going to search on Google to see if A. I can find out what type of spider it is, and B. whether I should do some sort of medical manuever.
I was sitting in my cubicle, working, and my wrist suddenly experienced a sharp jabbing pain. I looked down and there was a light brown spider about the size of a nickel, on my wrist. I flicked it away and it scrambled off (but is still alive and in the proximity of my cube!).
Now my wrist is throbbing and there is an expanding red circle around the bite. I am going to search on Google to see if A. I can find out what type of spider it is, and B. whether I should do some sort of medical manuever.
Friday, November 19, 2004
Conversations from India.
Chris: The cleaning staff threw away some of my stuff.
me: Like what?
Chris: One of my half-used candles.
me: You brought candles all the way from the US?
Chris: No, they were in the gift basket.
me: [flashback to first day at guesthouse] Wait, that's right, there were candles in that gift basket! You took both of them?
Chris: There were 5. I took all 5.
me: That gift basket was for all of us!
Chris: (patronizingly) Do you want one of my candles?
me: One of your candles?! No, I want one of my own candles back, thank you.
Chris: Fine. [picks up his laptop bag, starts moving toward door to leave]
me: [noticing that he's holding a roll of toilet paper] Why are you taking toilet paper?
Chris: I might need it. I have kind of an upset stomach.
me: Don't you think they'd have it at the office?
Chris: They ran out on Sunday.
me: Oh, ok.
Chris: [gets to door, pauses with hand on doorknob] By the way, this is your toilet paper.
me: What?
Chris: Yeah, you don't have toilet paper any more in your bathroom.
me: You stole my toilet paper?? [starting to laugh] Why did you do that?
Chris: I thought you'd left for work already.
me: (laughing) You are the worst roommate ever!!
me: Can we get them to bring us more exotic fruits at the guesthouse? Right now we have apples, bananas, oranges. I want papayas, mangoes, weird Indian fruits.
Lalit: They actually ship this fruit from the US. The apples are from Washington. And the oranges are from Florida.
John: So don't tell them you want exotic fruits, because they'll bring you apples and oranges.
me: Like what?
Chris: One of my half-used candles.
me: You brought candles all the way from the US?
Chris: No, they were in the gift basket.
me: [flashback to first day at guesthouse] Wait, that's right, there were candles in that gift basket! You took both of them?
Chris: There were 5. I took all 5.
me: That gift basket was for all of us!
Chris: (patronizingly) Do you want one of my candles?
me: One of your candles?! No, I want one of my own candles back, thank you.
Chris: Fine. [picks up his laptop bag, starts moving toward door to leave]
me: [noticing that he's holding a roll of toilet paper] Why are you taking toilet paper?
Chris: I might need it. I have kind of an upset stomach.
me: Don't you think they'd have it at the office?
Chris: They ran out on Sunday.
me: Oh, ok.
Chris: [gets to door, pauses with hand on doorknob] By the way, this is your toilet paper.
me: What?
Chris: Yeah, you don't have toilet paper any more in your bathroom.
me: You stole my toilet paper?? [starting to laugh] Why did you do that?
Chris: I thought you'd left for work already.
me: (laughing) You are the worst roommate ever!!
me: Can we get them to bring us more exotic fruits at the guesthouse? Right now we have apples, bananas, oranges. I want papayas, mangoes, weird Indian fruits.
Lalit: They actually ship this fruit from the US. The apples are from Washington. And the oranges are from Florida.
John: So don't tell them you want exotic fruits, because they'll bring you apples and oranges.
Friday, November 12, 2004
Bangkok
Sitting in bed in our lavish Bangkok hotel room, typing away. It's been 5 days since we left Mtn View (a bit confusing due to time difference). Today we dictate our own schedule, which I am looking forward to.
Chris was in an awful, awful mood until Wednesday afternoon.
Tuesday morning, Chris went to the sauna in our hotel. Upon his return, we were all getting ready for going out into the city.
John: Were there any hotties in the sauna?
Chris: (mumbling slightly) It was a male-only sauna, and I was the only one there. So there was one hottie.
John: What? I couldn't hear you.
Chris: (mumbling) I was there, so there was one hottie.
John: What?
Chris: I was the only hottie.
John: What?
Chris: I was the only ---
me: Okay, okay! You think you're a hottie! We get it!
Later, we're all in the ferry terminal, waiting to ride the ferry from Kowloon across to Central Hong Kong.
John: We should get some female interns. It'll be like Monika Lewinsky.
me: Oh no!
Chris: [stalks off without a word]
We catch up to him.
me: What's going on?
Chris: I feel like it's National Hypocrisy Month. Like, this morning you got after me for saying that I'm hot, but you're saying all the time, 'Oh, my abs look great today.' or 'my hair' And it's not okay for John to want female interns, but it's okay for you to hang out with Mark Cook and Todor and Peter?
John: I'm going to get some candy. [runs off]
We discuss, Chris calms down. But he's still angry. He refused to sit with us on the ferry, and on the bus ride to see the Giant Buddha. He doesn't smile, doesn't make any jokes.
Wednesday morning, we're sitting in a noodle shop. Chris says nothing and eats nothing.
John: I'm actually a CIA agent. I saw this movie about a guy who ran game shows, but he was also in the CIA, and he would take the winners on these trips where he was actually hitting targets.
John: So I'm a CIA agent. I have a mark in Bangkok, and in Bangalore. I just gotta find one for Hong Kong.
Chris: You can do me.
John: What?
Chris: You can kill me.
John and I look at each other and raise our eyebrows. I put my hand on Chris's shoulder and squeeze it. He reaches up and lightly lifts my hand off of him.
We split up after that. When we reunite 2 hours later, Chris is mysteriously in a much better mood. The mood has lasted through our day in Bangkok.
Chris was in an awful, awful mood until Wednesday afternoon.
Tuesday morning, Chris went to the sauna in our hotel. Upon his return, we were all getting ready for going out into the city.
John: Were there any hotties in the sauna?
Chris: (mumbling slightly) It was a male-only sauna, and I was the only one there. So there was one hottie.
John: What? I couldn't hear you.
Chris: (mumbling) I was there, so there was one hottie.
John: What?
Chris: I was the only hottie.
John: What?
Chris: I was the only ---
me: Okay, okay! You think you're a hottie! We get it!
Later, we're all in the ferry terminal, waiting to ride the ferry from Kowloon across to Central Hong Kong.
John: We should get some female interns. It'll be like Monika Lewinsky.
me: Oh no!
Chris: [stalks off without a word]
We catch up to him.
me: What's going on?
Chris: I feel like it's National Hypocrisy Month. Like, this morning you got after me for saying that I'm hot, but you're saying all the time, 'Oh, my abs look great today.' or 'my hair' And it's not okay for John to want female interns, but it's okay for you to hang out with Mark Cook and Todor and Peter?
John: I'm going to get some candy. [runs off]
We discuss, Chris calms down. But he's still angry. He refused to sit with us on the ferry, and on the bus ride to see the Giant Buddha. He doesn't smile, doesn't make any jokes.
Wednesday morning, we're sitting in a noodle shop. Chris says nothing and eats nothing.
John: I'm actually a CIA agent. I saw this movie about a guy who ran game shows, but he was also in the CIA, and he would take the winners on these trips where he was actually hitting targets.
John: So I'm a CIA agent. I have a mark in Bangkok, and in Bangalore. I just gotta find one for Hong Kong.
Chris: You can do me.
John: What?
Chris: You can kill me.
John and I look at each other and raise our eyebrows. I put my hand on Chris's shoulder and squeeze it. He reaches up and lightly lifts my hand off of him.
We split up after that. When we reunite 2 hours later, Chris is mysteriously in a much better mood. The mood has lasted through our day in Bangkok.
Thursday, October 14, 2004
Launch.
We launched today.
desktop.google.com.
We had a betting pool at work on the number of downloads on the first day, and so far I'm closest.
It's been a good feeling, watching the project grow from ideas and design docs, into lines of code, into the slick EXE being downloaded right now all over the world.
I'm in NYC to witness the launch at DigitalLife.
It's a different feeling from my previous shipping. On Flight Sim it was a dramatic and sudden sense of being done. This time it doesn't feel that much different than a normal day at work.
Maybe because on Flight Sim the CDs were sent to manufacturing and it was out of our hands. Whereas here we could modify the download EXE if we had to.
I like reading the slashdot posts.
A: "Now my wife can see my porn."
B: "Also now you can see my IM chats with your wife."
C (to A): "You are a heterosexual male with an Internet connection. Your wife doesn't need help from Google to know that you're surfing porn."
D (to C): "Maybe it's homosexual porn."
...
We already have 3600 e-mails for feature requests.
I haven't decided what to work on next. Google is unlike Microsoft, in that engineers at Google can fluidly move around to other projects. (Microsoft requires a formal interview to switch teams.) There are a number of exciting (secret) projects going on, and some of them are very tempting. Though that means I go back to not being able to talk about what I work on...
In other news, I like walking around downtown Manhattan. I'm staying in the Marriot Marquis which overlooks Times Square. I like how at midnight, the streets are still bright with neon lights, 24-hour pharmacies and shops doing renovation. The sidewalks are crowded with people, many dressed fashionably and fun to watch.
We ate a six-course tasting menu tonight, to celebrate launch. It was the first tasting menu for many of my coworkers.
I love my coworkers, every one of them. Andrew's straight-sarcasm and Chris's pig-sex jokes and John's excessive fear of death (and excessive obsession with santorum). Omar's drunkenness and Steve's pretend-innocence ("What's a stoner?", or in Australian accent "Wot's a ston'ah?"). Sergey's graciousness and DBakin's unexpected humor ("a pig for Bakin") and DaveM's "step 1..." instructions and MihaiMihai the rapper and Nikhil's strong opinions (good: "Gay marriage should be legal." bad: "I should be able to bring my dog into the public library! Everyone in the library should vote on it!").
...
The final tally of # downloads has been computed, and I am NOT the closest. John, who submitted a bet 3 times as high as mine, which we all dismissed as "ridiculously optimistic", is the closest.
This is $10 I'm thrilled to lose.
desktop.google.com.
We had a betting pool at work on the number of downloads on the first day, and so far I'm closest.
It's been a good feeling, watching the project grow from ideas and design docs, into lines of code, into the slick EXE being downloaded right now all over the world.
I'm in NYC to witness the launch at DigitalLife.
It's a different feeling from my previous shipping. On Flight Sim it was a dramatic and sudden sense of being done. This time it doesn't feel that much different than a normal day at work.
Maybe because on Flight Sim the CDs were sent to manufacturing and it was out of our hands. Whereas here we could modify the download EXE if we had to.
I like reading the slashdot posts.
A: "Now my wife can see my porn."
B: "Also now you can see my IM chats with your wife."
C (to A): "You are a heterosexual male with an Internet connection. Your wife doesn't need help from Google to know that you're surfing porn."
D (to C): "Maybe it's homosexual porn."
...
We already have 3600 e-mails for feature requests.
I haven't decided what to work on next. Google is unlike Microsoft, in that engineers at Google can fluidly move around to other projects. (Microsoft requires a formal interview to switch teams.) There are a number of exciting (secret) projects going on, and some of them are very tempting. Though that means I go back to not being able to talk about what I work on...
In other news, I like walking around downtown Manhattan. I'm staying in the Marriot Marquis which overlooks Times Square. I like how at midnight, the streets are still bright with neon lights, 24-hour pharmacies and shops doing renovation. The sidewalks are crowded with people, many dressed fashionably and fun to watch.
We ate a six-course tasting menu tonight, to celebrate launch. It was the first tasting menu for many of my coworkers.
I love my coworkers, every one of them. Andrew's straight-sarcasm and Chris's pig-sex jokes and John's excessive fear of death (and excessive obsession with santorum). Omar's drunkenness and Steve's pretend-innocence ("What's a stoner?", or in Australian accent "Wot's a ston'ah?"). Sergey's graciousness and DBakin's unexpected humor ("a pig for Bakin") and DaveM's "step 1..." instructions and MihaiMihai the rapper and Nikhil's strong opinions (good: "Gay marriage should be legal." bad: "I should be able to bring my dog into the public library! Everyone in the library should vote on it!").
...
The final tally of # downloads has been computed, and I am NOT the closest. John, who submitted a bet 3 times as high as mine, which we all dismissed as "ridiculously optimistic", is the closest.
This is $10 I'm thrilled to lose.
Friday, September 24, 2004
Show me the pig.
I am looking into owning a pig as a pet. I was hoping to get a pig that is 9 pounds, that I can carry around in a bag. Like in this picture.
Unfortunately this may not be feasible, as I found the following:
"I would love to find a reliable breeder who could produce with consistency a smaller potbellied pig with excellent conformation and good bone. Breeders in the industry are striving to attain just this goal. But a mature, purebred, potbellied pig weighs between 60 and 175 pounds. This is smaller in dimension than many house dogs. People get so hung up on the weight of a pet pig. The issue should not be the pounds of the pig, but her health, movement, and social versatility in terms of how she will fit into one's lifestyle. "
I was amused by this:
"Pigs enjoy eating even when they are not hungry."
Hee hee, just like me!
Good news: they can be potty trained:
"While pigs can eventually be outside potty trained, for six months or so they will likely rely on a litter box. Pig pee stinks so you’ll need a plan till your pig gains bladder control. "
and I love this (the pig's name is Bacon):
"Can your pig learn tricks?
Bacon’s intellect is immense. He clearly has the capacity to learn. And not just in response to food. As my fence was being rebuilt the dog had to be chained to a tree. I watched as the pig ran into the chain circle to steal the dog toys one at a time. I’d put them back and the pig would go back and take the toys one at a time. He never played with the toys, I’m sure he just wanted to torture the dog."
Today at lunch Chris was commending me on the pig idea. "I don't like pets," he said, "but I like the pig idea."
We discussed whether pigs can be potty trained, how large they are. Andrew stated that I'd get tired of the pig in two hours. We discussed how we'd then cook it for dinner.
Then naturally the subject turned to how Chris had said he wanted to have sex with my pig (see earlier blog entry). He denied it at first ("when did I turn into a pigfucker?") but then later confessed,
"The best bacon is the bacon you just fucked."
"Tell that to David Bakin," said John, alluding to one of the engineers on my team.
Unfortunately this may not be feasible, as I found the following:
"I would love to find a reliable breeder who could produce with consistency a smaller potbellied pig with excellent conformation and good bone. Breeders in the industry are striving to attain just this goal. But a mature, purebred, potbellied pig weighs between 60 and 175 pounds. This is smaller in dimension than many house dogs. People get so hung up on the weight of a pet pig. The issue should not be the pounds of the pig, but her health, movement, and social versatility in terms of how she will fit into one's lifestyle. "
I was amused by this:
"Pigs enjoy eating even when they are not hungry."
Hee hee, just like me!
Good news: they can be potty trained:
"While pigs can eventually be outside potty trained, for six months or so they will likely rely on a litter box. Pig pee stinks so you’ll need a plan till your pig gains bladder control. "
and I love this (the pig's name is Bacon):
"Can your pig learn tricks?
Bacon’s intellect is immense. He clearly has the capacity to learn. And not just in response to food. As my fence was being rebuilt the dog had to be chained to a tree. I watched as the pig ran into the chain circle to steal the dog toys one at a time. I’d put them back and the pig would go back and take the toys one at a time. He never played with the toys, I’m sure he just wanted to torture the dog."
Today at lunch Chris was commending me on the pig idea. "I don't like pets," he said, "but I like the pig idea."
We discussed whether pigs can be potty trained, how large they are. Andrew stated that I'd get tired of the pig in two hours. We discussed how we'd then cook it for dinner.
Then naturally the subject turned to how Chris had said he wanted to have sex with my pig (see earlier blog entry). He denied it at first ("when did I turn into a pigfucker?") but then later confessed,
"The best bacon is the bacon you just fucked."
"Tell that to David Bakin," said John, alluding to one of the engineers on my team.
Saturday, September 11, 2004
Sleeping.
I have some kind of disorder where I don't want to go to sleep. Like right now. I came home instead of partying in SF because I haven't slept enough for weeks. But I've been sitting in bed for hours and I don't want to go to sleep.
When I wake up tomorrow, I'm going to be groggy and unhappy.
You know how kids don't want to go to bed? I have that! I have struggled with this for years.
I'm searching on the Internet now for help.
I eat when I'm not hungry, and I don't go to sleep even though I'm tired. I don't want to keep doing these stupid things to my body. It's annoying to be able to identify it, yet have psychological blocks so that you cannot fix it.
When I wake up tomorrow, I'm going to be groggy and unhappy.
You know how kids don't want to go to bed? I have that! I have struggled with this for years.
I'm searching on the Internet now for help.
I eat when I'm not hungry, and I don't go to sleep even though I'm tired. I don't want to keep doing these stupid things to my body. It's annoying to be able to identify it, yet have psychological blocks so that you cannot fix it.
Wednesday, September 08, 2004
Sunday, September 05, 2004
Wedding.
Todd's wedding tonight. It was my favorite of the weddings I've attended (sorry Mingjing).
They wrote their own vows. Todd said, "Thank you for being who you are" and then his voice broke and he started crying. He cried a lot harder than Chris (the bride) did. Two sentence in, he had to stop because he was crying so hard. Chris reached out and held his hand, and it seemed to lend him stability.
I especially liked these lines from his speech,
"Thank you for not expecting me to read your mind, and for appreciating when I do."
...
"I could spend the rest of my life thanking you, and I plan to do just that."
...
"From this moment onward, I pledge to make our relationship my highest priority."
They're both very sweet people. Todd likes to pamper his girlfriends and be very accomodating to them. He's very thoughtful. Even to me, though we never dated, he was. I remember he picked me up once from the airport, and we were driving, and then he said, "Open the glove compartment." and I did to find my favorite Microsoft free beverage, a cherry Diet Ice. I was shocked!
He said he had been worried it would explode in there.
I met Todd's dad, who looks like him and who was very hip. I was actually walking across the room to get into the buffet line, and he stopped me and said, "You must be Niniane." When Melba and I left, we said goodbye to Todd's dad, and he gave me a big hug and said, "You were on Todd's short list."
Todd and I cooked once, and he made his own salad dressing out of oil and vinegar. I remember saying, "This is never going to work." because salad dressings seemed so complicated to me. But it turned out great!
I'm happy for Todd. He was radiantly happy tonight.
This wedding was very true to them. Todd loves music, so they had a sing-along before the ceremony. They had music all night that were Todd's selections.
They showed honor to their parents several times. At the start of the ceremony, they asked both sets of parents to rise and said, "Each of you has been married for over 30 years, and thank you for showing us an example of long-lasting relationships."
On the dance floor, after the first dance, they asked for any couples who've been married 50 years (Todd's grandparents), then 40 years, 30, etc.
Being at this wedding made me want to hold a wedding, to my immense shock. Up until tonight, I'd wanted to have a tiny little wedding ceremony out in nature somewhere, with two witnesses. I felt like weddings were so hokey. But tonight was sweet. Tonight was genuine.
The best man, a distinguished-looking guy probably in his late 30s, kept ogling me. It was so obvious that even Melba mentioned it. His date was a chic Asian woman with straight black hair. There is a phenomenon where Caucasian men date attractive Asian women but will continue to stare at other Asian women. It doesn't seem to happen for other combinations of ethnicities.
They wrote their own vows. Todd said, "Thank you for being who you are" and then his voice broke and he started crying. He cried a lot harder than Chris (the bride) did. Two sentence in, he had to stop because he was crying so hard. Chris reached out and held his hand, and it seemed to lend him stability.
I especially liked these lines from his speech,
"Thank you for not expecting me to read your mind, and for appreciating when I do."
...
"I could spend the rest of my life thanking you, and I plan to do just that."
...
"From this moment onward, I pledge to make our relationship my highest priority."
They're both very sweet people. Todd likes to pamper his girlfriends and be very accomodating to them. He's very thoughtful. Even to me, though we never dated, he was. I remember he picked me up once from the airport, and we were driving, and then he said, "Open the glove compartment." and I did to find my favorite Microsoft free beverage, a cherry Diet Ice. I was shocked!
He said he had been worried it would explode in there.
I met Todd's dad, who looks like him and who was very hip. I was actually walking across the room to get into the buffet line, and he stopped me and said, "You must be Niniane." When Melba and I left, we said goodbye to Todd's dad, and he gave me a big hug and said, "You were on Todd's short list."
Todd and I cooked once, and he made his own salad dressing out of oil and vinegar. I remember saying, "This is never going to work." because salad dressings seemed so complicated to me. But it turned out great!
I'm happy for Todd. He was radiantly happy tonight.
This wedding was very true to them. Todd loves music, so they had a sing-along before the ceremony. They had music all night that were Todd's selections.
They showed honor to their parents several times. At the start of the ceremony, they asked both sets of parents to rise and said, "Each of you has been married for over 30 years, and thank you for showing us an example of long-lasting relationships."
On the dance floor, after the first dance, they asked for any couples who've been married 50 years (Todd's grandparents), then 40 years, 30, etc.
Being at this wedding made me want to hold a wedding, to my immense shock. Up until tonight, I'd wanted to have a tiny little wedding ceremony out in nature somewhere, with two witnesses. I felt like weddings were so hokey. But tonight was sweet. Tonight was genuine.
The best man, a distinguished-looking guy probably in his late 30s, kept ogling me. It was so obvious that even Melba mentioned it. His date was a chic Asian woman with straight black hair. There is a phenomenon where Caucasian men date attractive Asian women but will continue to stare at other Asian women. It doesn't seem to happen for other combinations of ethnicities.
Thursday, September 02, 2004
sex in church
My team dynamics have become highly dysfunctional. One coworker is so angry that he has refused to work with us in the past few days.
But there's always enjoyable dinner conversation.
John: "My friends are getting married, and the place they booked provided a room for them for half an hour, between the wedding and reception. It's for 'alone time', to consummate their marriage."
Me: "What? Who wants to have sex then, instead of just holding out for 3 hours for your wedding night?"
DaveM: "I hear that wedding dresses are very hard to get out of."
Me: "Yeah, what if you get a stain -- never mind."
Chris: "You're wearing white..."
John: "People have either had sex before then, in which case they won't want to do it. Or they haven't, and who'd have their first time in this little room for 30 minutes?!"
Mihai: "I think it's a good idea. ... What other time can you have sex in a church?"
Chris: "If you're a young boy, all the time!"
But there's always enjoyable dinner conversation.
John: "My friends are getting married, and the place they booked provided a room for them for half an hour, between the wedding and reception. It's for 'alone time', to consummate their marriage."
Me: "What? Who wants to have sex then, instead of just holding out for 3 hours for your wedding night?"
DaveM: "I hear that wedding dresses are very hard to get out of."
Me: "Yeah, what if you get a stain -- never mind."
Chris: "You're wearing white..."
John: "People have either had sex before then, in which case they won't want to do it. Or they haven't, and who'd have their first time in this little room for 30 minutes?!"
Mihai: "I think it's a good idea. ... What other time can you have sex in a church?"
Chris: "If you're a young boy, all the time!"
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