I started reading more books during the pandemic. It is enjoyable to discuss the ideas with friends.
Recently I listened to an audiobook "Strangers Drowning". It is about people who feel compelled to help strangers.
One couple adopted 2 kids out of foster care and from overseas orphanages, then 2 more, then 6 siblings that no other family would take. Eventually they had 22 kids.
An Indian guy was born into a high caste and was bothered by the caste system. He moved his family to a leper colony, and spent decades helping the leper colony turn into a thriving town. By doing so, he exposed his children to leprosy. They fortunately did not catch it.
The book title is based on the idea that if you saw someone drowning in front of you, you would surely try to save them. Yet if you hear that people are drowning far away in another land, you'd likely feel low compulsion to save them. Is this unfair?
In one story, a Japanese guy spent 7 years giving emotional support for free to hikikomori (shut-in / recluse) strangers. Many of the strangers wanted to die, and he spent hours listening and supporting them. Then he had heart surgery and told the hikikomoris that he would be unavailable while he was recuperating in the hospital.
When he got out, he was shocked that most of the recluses (people he had helped for years) were angry at him. They didn't care that he had surgery, and they were mad that he wasn't available to help them with their pain. This story made me sad, because it is too believable. Then the Japanese guy decided he would only help people who came first to meet him in-person. But he kept helping! It is impressive.
When he got out, he was shocked that most of the recluses (people he had helped for years) were angry at him. They didn't care that he had surgery, and they were mad that he wasn't available to help them with their pain. This story made me sad, because it is too believable. Then the Japanese guy decided he would only help people who came first to meet him in-person. But he kept helping! It is impressive.
Its important to remember that gratitude is the 1st thing forgotten. Hence, never help people in expectation of gratitude. Help them becoz its the right thing to do (i.e. out of duty). Its funny that in the book they talk about some high caste Indian moving to a leper colony. Having worked in a leper colony in a past life, there is nothing high or low caste about leprosy from a societal viewpoint (in fact, it bugs me to read about such stereotypes which get presented as facts) . And leprosy is very rarely transmitted from person to person hence, not catching it is hardly surprising (in fact if you do catch it, 9/10 times it won't even manifest symptoms).
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