a few conversations I found amusing

I'm finally getting around to posting these conversations from last year. They gave me a laugh; your mileage may vary.

...

Talking to my brother, a while back.

Tom: "Did you know you have to fly into JFK to get to Yale?"

Me: "There's no airport near Yale?"

Tom: "No. It's so hard to get there! You have to fly to New York, get greeted by Hagrid, row across the water. [makes rowing motion with one hand]"

Me:

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At an all-day conference with other Googlers. The organizer was announcing the day's agenda.

Organizer: "Breakfast is served at your hotel, but we also will have breakfast available here at 9am if you want to eat again. Sessions until noon, then lunch back here. We'll provide cookies in the afternoon during sessions. Full dinner at 6. Then it's breakout discussions, with midnight snacks available."

Person sitting next to me: "Wow, we're hobbits."

Me:

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At Buddha Lounge in downtown Mountain View, with a few friends.

Jay: [watching a cute girl at the bar]

Me: "Why don't you go talk to her?"

Jay: "I'm thinking of something witty to say."

Me: "What do you mean?"

Jay: "I want to make a good impression, so I'm thinking of something interesting to say about the music, or an observation about that guy who's dancing weirdly."

Me: "You're over-thinking it. She's going to be influenced a lot more by your demeanor and body language than by your first sentence. Just go up and introduce yourself."

Jay: "What, like ask what her name is?"

Me: "Yeah."

Jay: "That's so boring! I should ask her something interesting."

Me: "Fine, you can ask her what her name is, and then what it means."

Jay: "How about if I ask for her middle name?"

Me: "Um, I guess."

...

Later on, I was telling my brother about this.

Tom: "Well, that wouldn't work for you!"

Me: "Why not?"

Tom: "You don't have a middle name."

Me: "Yes I do."

Tom: "You have a middle name??"

Me: