Personal trainer

Today I had my first gym personal training session with Google's subsidized program. I went to Megan, who is Joby's personal trainer and oversaw his amazing transformation.

Megan is an energetic petite blonde. She had me do lunges across the length of the gym, while she walked backwards facing me. After two sets, she announced that the next set would be duck lunges.

"Oh my God!" I said.

"You can just call me Megan," she replied, thus sealing my love for her.

Two minutes later, I felt the familiar sensation of light-headedness. This time, my hearing also became muffled and distant, which I took as a bad sign.

"Uh, I need to sit down," I said. "Can we sit for a moment?"

"Are you tired already?" she asked. "Okay, we can walk it out."

"I'm not tired, I'm just afraid I'll pass out."

So we sat down.

"Did you eat before you came to work out?" she asked.

"Not since lunch," I said. "Oh, and I only ate soup for lunch, because I wasn't hungry. Was I supposed to eat before this?"

"Yes! It's 5:30pm!" she said, and then ran across the gym and retrieved two Balance bars in peanut butter crunch and caramel apple. "Pick your poison."

I stared at them in dismay. "These bars are going to taste disgusting! I only have a limited number of meals in my life! I can't eat this!"

"You must!" she said, and went into an explanation of blood sugar. The result is that I was forced to eat 10% of the caramel apple Balance bar, thus wasting valuable stomach real estate.

We did weird balancing exercises and bicep curls and push-ups.

To my delight, she said, "You're stronger than I expected! You were able to do 12 push-ups with good form."

"It's practice from pushing people away," I said, and she laughed heartily and said we could delve into that emotional shortcoming some other session.

I signed up for 10 more sessions.