I can act very impatiently when it comes to people who grate on me. I want to be nice and easygoing and tolerant, but it's hard because I feel so freakin' irritated! If anyone has tips on how to become a more tolerant person (volunteer in Africa? Reflect on my own flaws?), I'd like to hear them.
In the evening, went to a David Sedaris reading in Cupertino, where inexplicably thousands of people paid $28 - $50+ to listen to a live book reading:
I don't understand. There are plenty of authors whose writing quality is as good as his, but who don't make this much money for a reading. Are people paying for the fame, instead of the content itself?
Or maybe the audience just has a different sense of humor than me. He read one short story about purchasing a skeleton (an actual skeleton from a cadaver), and finding the dislodged index finger bone under his bed. I mentally chuckled. The lady in the row behind us loudly hooted in laughter, then bellowed out a gut laugh so hard that she snorted.
The double-header of spending hours with people whose sense of humor differs so wildly from my own left me feeling quite isolated.
I don't think you have to become a more tolerant person--you just need to learn that when someone is bothering you, deep down inside, you're letting that person bother you. So the real technique is to train yourself to not let others dictate your feelings.
ReplyDeleteI know this sounds kind of head-shrink mumbo-jumbo, but it's usually pretty much impossible to get the annoying person to change--rather, it's much easier to change yourself.
You don't have to like everyone.
ReplyDeleteOne thing that can help is to ask yourself exactly what it is you don't like. What action. You did some of this. You say, "a self-satisfied air". Look deeper. Are people not supposed to be self-satisfied? Is it that he is unconventional? Or is he doing something where you can tell that he expects you to laugh? Try not laughing. See how he responds. You aren't required to laugh at his jokes. Anyway don't base your feelings on their expectations of what your feelings should be. Your feelings are the results of your thoughts.
On the other topic, David Sedaris is funny. His rates should not be based on your estimation of his value alone. Other people may find grater value in his humor, or less value in their dollars.
I both cases you are trying to align your values with other peoples values. You don't have to. Diferrent people have diferrent values.
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