tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6230750.post5024983691112653942..comments2023-11-30T11:57:43.224-08:00Comments on Niniane's Blog: the Italian WayNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06731517033909059791noreply@blogger.comBlogger28125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6230750.post-25545336010354355452009-02-15T05:23:00.000-08:002009-02-15T05:23:00.000-08:00wow looooooooooooool i soooo did not see the menst...wow looooooooooooool i soooo did not see the menstral blood thing comingSir Almohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11231867367935188842noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6230750.post-2949062577863606232008-07-11T11:42:00.000-07:002008-07-11T11:42:00.000-07:00While not Italian, I 'd beg to defer, apparently I...While not Italian, I 'd beg to defer, apparently Italians aren't at all as direct as you 'd believe.<BR/><BR/>Apparently an important concept in Venetian manners is to wait till the 7th time to say yes and even so... well you can never be too sure.<BR/><BR/>An excerpt form the book Venetian Masters you 'll enjoy reading http://is.gd/Rl6io2https://www.blogger.com/profile/01194350930054965299noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6230750.post-63271432782517069912008-06-08T20:33:00.000-07:002008-06-08T20:33:00.000-07:00> Less to do with "self hating" and more to do wit...> Less to do with "self hating" and more to do with "culture is fucking annoying"<BR/><BR/>"culture is fucking annoying" can lead to "self hating"Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6230750.post-45131952368918235152008-06-04T11:40:00.000-07:002008-06-04T11:40:00.000-07:00Hello, Russian is here too. Well if like another a...Hello, Russian is here too. Well if like another anonymous said being direct is not actually Italian way (at least in the South) I can tell for sure it's a Russian way, especially on the West. Going to the East (closer to China ;) people are getting less straight and too polite to me. <BR/>(hint) if it will be confirmed that it depends on geographical location Google can do map of straight of rhetorically flowery people to what to expect in what country :)<BR/> I’m a straight person and if I want you to stay for a dinner I will say so. If I don’t then I’m not going to break my oven to make it look like it’s an accident. Sometimes I feel I’m too straight even for Americans and trying to use softer words “I would like”, instead of “I want” etc. My accent makes it less visible and more forgivable. But going to “I reallyreally would like to stay but blah blah blah is too much. However I enjoy watching these kinds of games. Chinese and Japanese are masters in this kind of things and it is very interesting part of culture. <BR/>I find this subject very interesting. Brilliant post. Straight and honest.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6230750.post-91648363169848509082008-06-04T11:27:00.000-07:002008-06-04T11:27:00.000-07:00If I'm ever at your place and you offer me dinner,...If I'm ever at your place and you offer me dinner, I will accept the first time! That's fair warning. And if I'm hungry, I'll ask you to feed me, and if you don't want to do that, you should say no.<BR/><BR/>I have no patience for this kind of crap...<BR/><BR/>Very entertaining post!CSSOhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03867816055047256175noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6230750.post-76418540489922750422008-06-03T00:08:00.000-07:002008-06-03T00:08:00.000-07:00Heya! That really is random! I wonder why they w...Heya! That really is random! I wonder why they would forward you mu blog!<BR/><BR/>Actually, Howard gave my your blog URL sometime back and I did enjoy it a lot. Then I read about you again in of the Google blogs and decided to come back more often. :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6230750.post-57291449768146992962008-06-01T23:11:00.000-07:002008-06-01T23:11:00.000-07:00I kinda like the Chinese traditions, even if I don...I kinda like the Chinese traditions, even if I don't know them very well myself. =)<BR/><BR/>Case in point: my grandmother used to tell her kids that she didn't want presents for her birthday. Of course, this was a total lie and one would regret it if one took her at her word, said my mom, but if it'd been me -- and granted, my mom and dad raised me, not my grandmother -- I woulda just believed her. At least the first and second times, I guess.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6230750.post-2483015740142576882008-06-01T11:00:00.000-07:002008-06-01T11:00:00.000-07:00as a (half-)Italian-American geek married to a Jap...as a (half-)Italian-American geek married to a Japanese musician, i have to say this is the most brilliant summary of every single argument my wife & i have ever had... we are hardly EVER speaking the same language, even though it "sounds" like English. sigh ;)<BR/><BR/>(thanks, brilliant piece)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6230750.post-4751736957632165852008-05-31T19:58:00.000-07:002008-05-31T19:58:00.000-07:00I have to wonder if you are perhaps missing inform...I have to wonder if you are perhaps missing information that is being exchanged on another channel. It could be subtle and it may require growing up immersed in the culture (so yeah, I'm saying you may be Americanized, but not in the menstrual blood sort of way). <BR/><BR/>I come from a culture of similar long-drawn exchanges, but I think one can tell what is going on from the beginning. There are ways of making/refusing offers that are more formulaic than others, for example, so I think the actual wording is a cue. Other cues involve non-verbal signals and postures.<BR/><BR/>I wonder if other Chinese people who have not lived abroad for long periods of time (boy, do I get rusty even after a couple of years without a visit home!) have the same trouble as you do, or if they are receiving information through other channels.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6230750.post-11060374671380985362008-05-31T19:15:00.000-07:002008-05-31T19:15:00.000-07:00As an Indian, I can say that you have spoken for a...As an Indian, I can say that you have spoken for almost all Indians too.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6230750.post-91890420002310801632008-05-30T10:57:00.000-07:002008-05-30T10:57:00.000-07:00hmm I don't like that Dawn Yang character. She wea...hmm I don't like that Dawn Yang character. She wears blue contacts. I HATE HATE HATE when dark eyed people try to lighten their eyes with contacts. It never looks remotely real and makes them look stoned or something.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6230750.post-63530256218013515072008-05-30T10:51:00.000-07:002008-05-30T10:51:00.000-07:00> Less to do with "self hating" and more to do wit...> Less to do with "self hating" and more to do with "culture is fucking annoying"<BR/><BR/>Thank you.Nhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06731517033909059791noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6230750.post-45215777876354465712008-05-30T10:46:00.000-07:002008-05-30T10:46:00.000-07:00Hmm now I'm beginning to understand why you don't ...Hmm now I'm beginning to understand why you don't really want to date a Chinese guy. Less to do with "self hating" and more to do with "culture is fucking annoying"<BR/><BR/>Are you dating anyone now? Italian perhaps?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6230750.post-12556423547716716692008-05-30T09:51:00.000-07:002008-05-30T09:51:00.000-07:00I think it's worst when these invitation to dinner...I think it's worst when these invitation to dinner or whatever is with family, because the guilt trip they give you when you don't accept is way worse than what friends give you, and it will come back to bite you the next time you accept or decline.yan+starlahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10166882729593495577noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6230750.post-9794346199456978572008-05-29T22:37:00.000-07:002008-05-29T22:37:00.000-07:00I enjoyed this post a lot - both for your thoughts...I enjoyed this post a lot - both for your thoughts and the manner in which it was written - i.e. what conclusions would you draw from this?<BR/><BR/>Is life always to be lived so efficiently? I don't believe you believe that... The point is that different cultures have different norms, usually not good or bad, just different.<BR/><BR/>I quite liked the German's comment on how he though American behavior was quite polite. Germans are known to be direct - and the Japanese, quite the opposite!<BR/><BR/>"The blog is more boring because I am now more boring." - I found your comment to be too funny...Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11888299918507299584noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6230750.post-9746051401112789612008-05-29T13:22:00.000-07:002008-05-29T13:22:00.000-07:00The blog is more boring because I am now more bori...The blog is more boring because I am now more boring.<BR/><BR/>If you want casual fun pictures, go to <A HREF="http://dawnyang.com" REL="nofollow">dawnyang.com</A>Nhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06731517033909059791noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6230750.post-35273465049270418982008-05-29T11:39:00.000-07:002008-05-29T11:39:00.000-07:00your posts have been pretty boring recently. i ma...your posts have been pretty boring recently. i may stop reading it. you need to spice it up more. we don't really care about emotional stuff. we need casual fun pictures of yourself and others.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6230750.post-85582988698390962008-05-29T10:41:00.000-07:002008-05-29T10:41:00.000-07:00Directness about this sort of thing acts as a loss...Directness about this sort of thing acts as a lossy filter -- Chinese who are tolerant of it tend to be more interesting companions (in my view, anyway) in other ways, but there certainly isn't a perfect correspondence. Also, my guess is that some tolerate it but consider it a mark of social naivete.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6230750.post-88344870957043427592008-05-29T05:21:00.000-07:002008-05-29T05:21:00.000-07:00I remember one time I asked a friend if we wanted ...I remember one time I asked a friend if we wanted to go out that night. I forgot the details but he responded something like, "No, I prefer stay home tonight and relax, and because you're my friend, you deserve I don't make up any excuses now... let's meet some other time." We did, of course, and he's a great guy and I was honored to receive his straight-forward answer.<BR/><BR/>In another situation, at work, my other friend who quit was about to move to another city. A manager told him a good-bye going something like "When I'm in your new town for a visit, I will make sure to meet you, so this won't be really good-bye." My friend -- who I should add is a programmer living in the realms of logic -- I think took her words literally, and not as a rite to mellow the good-bye (whatever it really meant, I don't know either, of course).<BR/><BR/>By the way, not sure what you're seeing exactly as the meaning of your roots vs americanization, but just to give you another view, here in Germany american behavior (certainly a generalization in itself) is generally seen as incredibly polite and non-direct, to the point that you won't ever know if you've gotten yourself in some conflicts or if the other party currently heavily disagrees with something. Conversely I suppose some German behavior is considered rude and direct even when it is not meant that way (it actually depends a lot on the specific city in Germany, too). And yeah, a lot of Germans have blond hair.<BR/><BR/>Politeness is not all that bad, though. Sometimes, it allows us to keep face, and also, to reconsider options privately with more time to reflect on them. (Though, then it should also not lead to any later subtle grudges from the polite party... that would be the worst of both worlds.)<BR/><BR/>Perhaps if you're totally honest, your answer to the question "Can I stay at your place over the weekend" would be more like, "I would love this and will give you a yes to this for now but reserve the right to reconsider later on if more important things come around; should you arrive for your stay, which I will certainly initially enjoy quite a bit, then please note that the length of any extension of the stay is directly proportional to your funnyness, cleanliness and non-obtrusiveness, and I reserve the right to directly cancel any prior agreement should you steal any of my books."<BR/><BR/>Perhaps it would be easier if we come up with some unified standard for all this, host it online providing different sets of answers, and then just hand out cards containing the respective URL whenever needed.Philipp Lenssenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09340991515644165702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6230750.post-72050418282941746582008-05-29T03:33:00.000-07:002008-05-29T03:33:00.000-07:00Hi Ninianeas a Southern Italian, I have to complet...Hi Niniane<BR/>as a Southern Italian, I have to completely disagree with what you say about Italians being direct (at least in the South). On the contrary - it's a lot more like the situation you describe - there's a lot of to-ing and fro-ing and polite refusals before a meal/coffee/drink/etc is accepted...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6230750.post-83576442061704260842008-05-29T02:00:00.000-07:002008-05-29T02:00:00.000-07:00It really depends on the people you face, for myse...It really depends on the people you face, for myself, usually if I don't want to stay, I just tell the reason to the host and go away. And I've never meet a host repeat their invitation more than twice.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04775947277284749116noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6230750.post-87468604263071612962008-05-28T22:58:00.000-07:002008-05-28T22:58:00.000-07:00Hi Joan, Howard's friend. A random Singaporean fr...Hi Joan, Howard's friend. A random Singaporean friend actually forwarded me your blog many months ago.Nhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06731517033909059791noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6230750.post-16628343931897293792008-05-28T22:44:00.000-07:002008-05-28T22:44:00.000-07:00I totally agree with you on this. I hate it when ...I totally agree with you on this. I hate it when people beat around the bush to get their points across, and don't exactly say what they mean. And I get told off for being non-PR like. ;)<BR/><BR/>It's not an Americanised thing. It's just being efficient because we don't have time to waste in being stupidly polite<BR/><BR/>Oh btw, I'm Howard's friend.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6230750.post-59402044064663494112008-05-28T22:34:00.000-07:002008-05-28T22:34:00.000-07:00http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=Statute+of+Li...http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=Statute+of+Limitations+if+the+Complainer+Said+Nothing+When+the+Deed+Went+Down%22&btnG=Google+Search<BR/><BR/>Seriously, though. You seem to me to be the "direct" type, so why play games and beat around the bush?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6230750.post-42141382532991619022008-05-28T21:01:00.000-07:002008-05-28T21:01:00.000-07:00I grew-up in Pakistan. Amazingly, everything you s...I grew-up in Pakistan. Amazingly, everything you said in this Blog entry totally resonates with my experiences also! And not surprisingly, I get labeled as "American" by those selected folks :-)Syed F Ahmadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02395853083128666283noreply@blogger.com