Saturday, July 16, 2016

laughing at arrows

Yesterday, my friend "Tori" expressed fear that she's too old now (over 40) for Silicon Valley, and that the Valley favors the young.

When I was in my first job at Microsoft, I was told that I seemed too young, too "girl-ish".  So if we listen to these fears, are we first "too young" and then "too old"?  So there's one perfect day where we're just right?  Every day before the Perfect Day we're too young.  Every day after the Perfect Day we're too old.  You better start your company during your one Perfect Day!

Also yesterday, "Peg" said she was told she'd have more success pitching her company if she were more conventionally attractive.  I also remember lots of people warning women not to be too attractive, because then guys would just see you as a sex object and not take you seriously.

Fear-mongering can be applied to any attribute.  A while ago, I was listening to friends talk about our ex-coworker, a Caucasian male young CEO who is a Stanford grad and already made millions in the past.  Guess what everyone said the downside was for him?  Expectations are too high, so now he can't take risks without people being disappointed by his new product and badmouthing how much it falls short of their hopes.  The moment he launched, he got judged and people told each other how disappointed they were.

Everything can be turned into a negative!  It's like how Joey on Friends was able to turn any sentence into a suggestive phrase, even "grandma's chicken salad".

I think we're all bombarded by a bunch of fear-mongering every day.  It's like walking through a rain of arrows, and most just whizz by.  But when something lodges in our ear, we fret so much.  We'd so well to remember how we just laughed at the other arrows, and apply the same defenses to the pernicious ones that strike at our fears.


Anonymous said...

You sux.

Anonymous said...

People who post stupid replies to your blog post are stupid.

I think your blog post is good and constructive, and encourages me and other readers to develop a better sense of perspective.