Last weekend I went on a 3-day trip with 12 people, as a bridal weekend in celebration of L's upcoming wedding. I finally figured out why it felt so cozy.
All of the people there wanted to make everyone else feel good. No one was trying to establish their own superiority by cutting down someone else. No one was sizing up others, thinking, "Am I better than them, or are they better than me?" No one was silently judging others, and revealing it through subconscious cues.
It was really remarkable.
What was also remarkable is that it took me several days to figure this out. You'd think I would notice right away. But I am so desensitized to the dominance games that I barely notice them, or their absence.
I wonder what percentage of the world is secure like L's friends, and what percentage play dominance games. Is the world predominantly secure, and I just happen to have met many competitive people because they congregate to the Valley, or because I have been oblivious and ended up accumulating acquaintances like this?
Or is the world predominantly feeling insecure, and L's friends are just exception?